Still Empire of Lies, it’s about a gang leader facing her trauma to save her gang from certain death for false accusations of killing a goddess, while falling for the new goddess and uncovering a plot to destroy the empire, as well as centuries old corruption that prove the empire was built on lies.
Sara fears… her trauma, mostly. But going deeper, she fears disappointing people she loves.
Malika fears people hating her choices. She’s a people pleaser, through and through.
Spend the whole day curled up in each others’ arms, perhaps spend some time with their friends.
Arya. It’s an indian inspired continent. The empire spans the whole continent.
It’s currently famous for their relegiously extreme government, but usually, it would probably be the food, and the natrualistic approach of the people living there.
Too many festivals. Wayy too many.
Eg: this year’s festival list of the faith my book is based off of. Similar festivals follow in my world, but the big ones are the lunar new year, the harvest festival around January, one 10-day festival for the patron diety of the region - the dates of which differ according to deity, and Diwali.
ooh. lots of interesting things.
Questions:
What other races reside in Elgana?
How often are the High Collection members re-elected? Are they elected for life? How many members are there per race, and how many total? If not for life, what happens to those who finished their term? What is the procedure for leaving the collection, if someone had had enough, and what would they face once they left?
This is too fascinating for me, if you couldn’t tell
What happened to the Kattaluna royals?
How did the clans originate?
How did Elgana become one? I have to assume that at some point all races were left to govern themselves.
What is the bloodstone wall?
What happened to the other races?
The magick is dying. It dies when it’s not used very much. So, the more generations go by without hardly using magick, the fewer are born with any usable magick at all.
Kattaluna age the same way as Humans. She’s sixteen. The start of adulthood.
The antag is several. First is Thorn. Thorn is of the Shaa race, the shapeshifters that control Kattaluna. But for many years, he’s secretly built a friendship with Pinti after a chance meeting. Then later, he seems to turn on her, leading the attack that destroys her clan.
Second is a strange Sorcerer.
Third is herself. Pinti battles with her morals and desire for revenge.
What would happen to her in the story.
Pinti goes from a noble leader toward a more villainous path after her clan is destroyed. Her want to fight for those she loves turns into a desire for revenge. She doesn’t become evil because she does still have her morals, but she has some close calls of almost killing innocent Humans for no reason than to make them fear her.
She dies in the attack on Kattaluna by the Shaa. Happens in the beginning of the story.
Pinti begins as being highly distrustful, but she will warm up to two in particular. One is an oddball Kattaluna youngster and the other is his brother.
Well…she does meet him
The brothers she meet are in a bit of a sticky magical situation and do want to sort that out but can’t if they are to help Pinti find the scepter.
If she did happen to die for whatever reason, Pinti’s father would regain leadership and then decide who to pass it on next. It should remain in the family, so he might choose his younger brother.
She has a long mane that she usually braids at the end.
Sara fears her trauma and disappointing people she loves… based on that fear, what does she do? Does she second guess herself? Does she try so hard to the point where it breaks her? Or does she flee? What kind of actions?
Malika is a people pleaser, does she ever take actions to any extremes? What does she think she has to do to please people?
It sounds like Sara and Malika both don’t want to disappoint people. What was your intention as the author to make them alike in this way?
Awwwwww
Ooooh, so do you take a lot of inspiration from Indian culture in terms of food?
Do Arya residents celebrate Holi, too? Or do they have any festival of colors?
And heyyyyy, Oct 23 is my birthday I can’t read it because it’s so small… Nantatri?? Something ends, I can tell that. What’s the occasion?
Humans
Halfhumans with various sub-species
Sorcerers
The Shaa (going to change this name, seriously. I just took it from the word “shadow”.)
about elections and stuff
Okay, so, it’s three years with a maximum of nine years that the representative is allowed to serve. Only one from each race.
Human, one representative. Halfhuman, one representative. So on.
And then each representative has the second-most-voted candidates as their second-in-command like a vice president position. Then each race also has their own wing in the High Collection Headquarters where their secretaries and data gathering (idk, haven’t thought about this much) citizens work.
Fun fact: The headquarters are built to look like HCH with the C a symbol between the buildings shaped like "H"s. It lights up at night and is quite pretty.
The High Collection doesn’t do anything At the time of Pinti’s story, they are a little bit corrupt with two races not represented and one of those two refusing to join—the Shaa. The Sorcerer race representative is indifferent.
Went extinct. It’s a loooong story, but you can blame it on the queen, her ultimate “I had no other choice” decision, and the Shaa.
They come from the four noble families For example, Pinti’s family is the Segnoshua family. The Segnoshua family were closest to the royals. The first to create the clan was Makiisti Segnoshua (I think… This is lore I created in a failed rewrite so not in my notes Can’t check easily). It was named after her because she was a brave and powerful warrior, or so legends say.
history lesson on how Elgana became one
Right, so Elgana, before Human invasion (or colonization, or visitation depending on who you talk to), used to be a planet where all bipedal races live in harmony. They might have had a few territorial battles here and there, but it wasn’t so bad.
Thank the Humans for starting wars against races in competition for territories, but also ironically thank Humans for the being the ones to talk to the Kattaluna royal (the most powerful at the time) and create a peace treaty.
Also thank Humans for time and time again, breaking each and every treaty until the races came up with a way to live separately in some places and together in other places. That’s when the races created the High Collection.
History lesson
It is a wall created by the Shaa to keep all Kattaluna in one place since the Shaa control Kattaluna. It is a black wall surrounding all Kattaluna territories and Shaa magick is quite toxic to Kattaluna, so getting close to it could be harmful.
It has red lightning bolts flashing beneath the surface. It’s like black marble. It’s called Bloodstone Wall because it looks like a bloodstone. It’s actually a form of shield magick that the Shaa use.
They can go through this wall like ghosts (apparently, I am now being told XD).
The other bipedal races have been integrated with Humans and went extinct long ago. Bipedal genes are weak against Humans, so you get Halfhumans galore. Eventually, even the Halfhumans may turn into Humans down the line, losing all of their animal features.
I haven’t dive that deep into Alroria’s history like that.
I mean when the Alrorian Crown Princess Brianna’s mother Miranda was ruling, the nation was fine-ish.
Things went a bit down hill after her mother’s death along with Brianna’s younger brother too.
Getting close to people.
You tell me? This is a paragraph between Jorildyn and her mother Rumia (I will get to her other families soon enough).
(It is not the greatest paragraph and can use work, but it is decent in it’s own right)
Jorildyn and her mama, Rumia
There’s so much anger placed inside her that she didn’t even realize that hot tears streamed down her cheeks and the opening of a door revealing a person who entered to see Jorildyn in a crying state. The person draws closer to her then touches Jorildyn on her shoulder, causing the crying Knight to jump up in surprise to see who the person was. It’s her mother Rumia, who held a bouquet of flowers.
“Mom?” Jorildyn says in confusion. “What are you doing here?!”
“I’ve come to see you,” Rumia says, placing the flowers in a nearby empty vase. “So, what, I can’t see my daughter who is currently in the hospital?”
Jorildyn turns away from her mother’s gaze. “I see you are elevated in status, High Queen Rumia? You mind telling me what that is about, huh? How is dad responding to all of this?” Her voice raised at the end without it meaning to, causing Rumia to stare apologetically at her daughter. Jorildyn’s anger caught her mother off-guard since it has been a while for her.
“Oh, so you heard about that?” Rumia responds in an upset tone of voice. “Listen, Jorildyn, you don’t have to be a part of this and are free to make your own decisions. None of this applies to you and you are your own woman.”
“Alright, I see what you mean!” Jorildyn said, feeling sorry for shouting at her mother. “I get it isn’t your fault, but the Sovereign and the others aren’t making it easy for us.”
Rumia sits on the bed then pulls Jorildyn close to her, leaning onto her daughter. “You know me, your father, and your siblings love you so much, Jorildyn. We love all children equally and would do anything for your happiness. You are not alone in these feelings, Sanev and Tessalyn along with Romaria and Felix and even your father also feel the same way. If you children want us to turn down the position, we will.”
Jorildyn removed herself from her mother to stare at her with a worried face. To have her own mother and father go up against the Sovereign and the rest of the court is highly risky. It’s like standing up to an immensely powerful being that could take everything you know and love away just to prove a point. Knowing that greatly scares Jorildyn who loves her family way more than the other members of the high imperial court. Something that she would never share with anyone.
“Mom, you can’t do that!” Jorildyn told her nervously and with serious fright. “You can not go against the Sovereign or the Grand Lords! I know what I stated, but I don’t want you to do that. Those people are highly dangerous and it scares me.”
“Jorildyn, I appreciate your feelings about that,” Rumia says with a smile, as she brushes her daughter’s hair. “Honestly, to face a god or some direct descendant of a Firstlings is a terrifying thing to do.”
Jorildyn was able to relax a bit after that. “I shall continue being a Knight and if I have to deal with this change so be it. Just do not grant me special privileges or send me money every month. I am making my own wealth and don’t need to depend on you or dad.” She made it clear that she would rather not be spoiled by her family even though she is now a true royal of the high imperial court.
“I shall since you are a High Knight,” Rumia mentions with a grin. “You’ll be making loads of money that you won’t even need me or your father’s. I am really happy that you are safe and ok, Jorildyn. I refuse to lose any of my darling children.”
“Thanks mom, I am grateful!” Jorildyn states smiling then gives her mother a warm hug. “So, where are you going now?”
Rumia chuckles at the thought of it. “I am going to visit your grandmother Sorisana in Maltese Villa. She wanted to see me and check on how I was doing. She calls daily asking about you and your siblings. She heard that you’ve joined the Knighthood Federation and is proud of you.” Hearing that placed Jorildyn’s heart at ease. Her grandmother and grandfather are such amazing yet understanding people that often wonders if she deserves them.
“Tell, grandma and grandpa I said hello, alright?” Jorildyn stated, smiling at that point.
“I will and you get better, you hear me?!” Rumia told her daughter with a wink.
Rumia turns away leaving Jorildyn after blowing a kiss and wave goodbye that she amusingly dismissed. With that her mother is gone and she is back to being alone once more. She lies back down to stare out the window. Until the thought entered her mind about that random Rhak she saw while still in Alroria just moments before falling into a deep sleep. She has never even seen a Rhak or has never heard of such a mysterious race of individuals. Yet for the oddest reason, she felt she had met them once before.
She never really had a best friend.
Gondolas, walking, bicycle, people drawn-carriages, or special cars or other vehicles that levitate on water.
She feels like a failure and that she should have did more to help, even if she wasn’t paid to go the extra mile.
Jorildyn was born in a country called Khollothage which is a Greater Monarchy. Jorildyn’s family were real close to the royal family of the nation, but that changed when Jorildyn’s family became elevated in status and rank within the AHIC.
I will most likely have her return to Khollothage way later in the story…maybe.
No. Jorildyn isn’t skilled like that and she is one of those beings who eat because everyone else is eating or has to blend in.
Jorildyn does not need food or even a beverage at all since she is a Rhak in disguised form.
So, it’s that type of magick that needs to be constantly used and balance in order for it to survive?
My inner demons are battling against me type deal???
Is Pinti closer to her father than she was with her mother?
Yikes! What was that like for her, I wonder?!
Slightly reminds me of Jorildyn . I mean Jorildyn isn’t too untrusting of others, but people either want to be friends with her because of her family and their social status or use her for their own selfish gain OR hate her automatically because of who she is and her family.
Making friends and acquaintances is hard for Jorildyn. Is it the same for Pinti?
I mean things does slowly get better for Jorildyn later, but she is still unsure.
Spoiler Alert: Jorildyn’s birth mother is Renna and her grandmother is Nirvana/Genesis. Her real name isn’t Jorildyn, it is Annika. So she is adopted into the Calverstone family.
I shall tell you more, when you ask more once you’ve wake from your sleep the next day.
Saying goddess here is kind of misleading, but has to be done for the sake of simplicity. Gods cannot really be killed, but they may fade if people forget them.
But here, goddess is reffering to the vessel of the god, who is a mortal that occasionally bears their patron god’s spirit and acts as that god’s earthly agent. So the vessel of the commander goddess got killed, and Malika is the replacement vessel.
Usually, she second guesses every decision she makes, and she has a lot of nightmares from her past - she had to leave her family on the western isles as an early teen to get married to an Aryan aristrocract as a part of an effort to stop conflict between the continents, and she worries she has disappointed them and her birth culture by adapting too easily. The trauma event led to her separation from her in laws, and was why she came to the streets, and she has nightmares of the in laws blaming her for those events (when all she did was protect her own self). This can be justified because she thinks she killed her husband, but it still hurts her deeper than she thought. She doesn’t really love them, but she doesn’t want to disappoint them for her parents and she feels like she is representing her country. When she became a part of the gang and started seeing the gang as her extended family and the leaders as family, she would second-guess everything she did in the name of the gang, because she would worry she was doing the wrong thing. It took a lot of effort for her to start trusting her own choices, which is what led to her becoming a leader. So other than the trauma nightmares, you don’t currently see many manifestations of this fear, but it is there deep down, and it starts showing in the middle of the story.
Oh her side is that she just doesn’t do anything whatsover. She doesn’t want to be seen as bad by anyone whatsover, and she is the prime policymaker, so there are barely any substantial laws that she passes.
At first, not really. But then Malika showed me that she is cowardly in the sense that even though she wants to help people, she is afraid of taking a stance. I didn’t even know Sara’s deepest fear beyond the trauma until you asked - I had to dig deep and find why the trauma affects her the way it does.
And the thing about these two is that because Sara has already learned to trust herself, she has little patience for Malika’s fear - she notices it when Malika barely does anything after two events in the story, and the third time, she leaves Malika behind, which is the needed push for Malika to overcome her own fear.
And it’s only when Sara has forgiven herself for her past and Malika has learned to take risks that the two of them can be good for each other.
Yes! Food is definitely Indian inspired, and Holi is there, although it is a festival that is much more geared towards children. But now you’re making me wonder what would happen if Sara and Malika celebrated Holi together… or maybe Diwali.
Usually Navaratri is celebrated in October, although there are years when Navaratri is in November, it usually comes in October. It’s a celebration of the day Shri Ram (Vishnu 's reincaraton - Vishnu is a big three god) killed Ravana (mythologically a king of Sri Lanka - he was a good king by all accounts until he kidnapped Ram’s wife, and Sri Lankans and South Indians celebrate him, while North Indians usually celebrate his death and see him as a demon.) It’s a ten day festival, also celebrating some other goddess, I think Mahalaxmi, who is a warrior goddess. There’s multiple meanings to this festival.
So, to quickly use this space to answer a pending question about the story I’m about to finish,
@48lexR asked what is my least and most favorite parts about The Rat Girl.
Least: how insanely complicated it got once characters realized they were all misunderstanding each other, then it got complicated again when one guy said “oh well, actually I told a big lie that now all of Wodeland believe is true”, then again when another said, “well actually we knew that was a lie but it works because of this reason which is related to that thing over there, and then wait, actually, all of this is lie”.
I was like…please, let me finish this. Stop plot twisting me
Favorite: How Bethany evolved and took accountability for her past actions. How many of the characters took accountability for their actions. How they had meaningful discussions about forgiveness and identity with each other.
Used. Balance doesn’t come into play with it. But it has to be used. It’s different from Sorcerer magick. You can go years without using Sorcerer magick and still use it later.
Yes
Yeah, she is She also really admires and respects him.
One thing I can say is surreal and a tiny bit annoying
Definitely. Especially after the one she trusted is the one that leads the attack on her clan.
@Novel_Worm
I’m going to answer simply I think. I just wrote 8k words and finished a final battle in another story.
Qualities…uh…idk? Maybe my tired brain isn’t working now. Sorcerers are Humans or Halfhumans who have the genetic ability to access the magick in the air. What do you mean by qualities?
Simply put, power struggle. Both used to be just as powerful magically as the other. Both wanted to rule Elgana at one point. After fighting for centuries, eventually forgot what they were fighting for and now they simply hate each other.
Kattaluna lost in a war with the Shaa for the first time. So the Shaa King at the time was like, “Ha ha ha! Now is the time to take revenge on these felines! Now you are under our control! We will NEVER let you rise above us ever again.”
The severity of control changed depending on the King.
For example, Pinti’s family is the Segnoshua family. The Segnoshua family were closest to the royals. The first to create the clan was Makiisti Segnoshua (I think… This is lore I created in a failed rewrite so not in my notes 
