Got any LGBTQIA+ or Pride Month -related questions for other writers?

Sooo, idk if you know this, but I’m contributing to the Wacky Writers IG account with questions. One of them is questions to writers. Since it’s Pride Month, do you have any questions for other writers related to that or to LGBTQIA+?

10 Likes

Is ace it’s own category?
Why do people think that being an aromantics/asexuals is pure nonsense or just the standard “you just haven’t found the right person”?

Thoughts and feelings?

4 Likes

As an Ace person, I think I can actually help with this one.

We live in a society of hetro-normativity where most things (clothes, jewelry, socialisiation, relationships) are based around sex or the idea of sexual attraction. So for those of us who only experience it under certain circumstances or who don’t experience it at all (such as myself), people who aren’t asexual tend to have a hard time accepting that there are, in fact, people out there who just don’t experience it or don’t see what the big deal is or who have different ways of thinking. Same deal for aromantics, actually. Romantic and sexual relationships are so normal that people without interest or don’t experience those forms of attraction come into the field, everyone just assumes you’re overreacting or haven’t found the right person because obviously the most important thing in life is having romantic and sexual relationships.

I swear, if I got a dollar for everyone who said to me “you just haven’t found the right person” or “is something wrong with you?” or “are you sick?” or “maybe you’re just scared” or “you’ll change your mind” or anything along that line, I’d be a billionaire :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

As for Ace being it’s own category, I’d personally say “yes” because Asexuality has a lot of sub-labels/categories.

Other people will have other answers and I think it would be best for an Armonatic person to answer that part because I’m panromantic :sweat_smile: As for Asexuality, I’m sex negative (no interest and the idea of doing it makes me sick) and I never experience attraction on that level (when people hit on me, it goes right over my head and I get confused when people ask me if I find people “hot”). Answers from someone in another Ace category or a similar one will probably also be different to mine.

2 Likes

Ayyy go you :partying_face:

Yes! I’m currently working on my spin-off series and one of my five MCs is a trans male. I’d love to know more about what the do’s and don’t’s are as a cis person writing trans characters and to hear more about trans experiences (the good and the bad if anyone is willing). I’ve spoken to other people IRL an done a lot of reading on the topic but there’s always more to learn.

I should mention that this character does come from an anti-trans family. I am trying to be careful on that and not go too deeply into it because I don’t feel it’s my place to do so, but this character’s family will be coming in so if there’s a line, please tell me what it is so I don’t cross it. And no, I won’t be romanticizing it at all.

Short version: Trans peoples’ experiences, the do’s and don’t’s of writing a trans character with an anti-trans family, and where the line is so I don’t cross it. If anyone is open, please and thank you.

yeah I have several trans characters because that’s how they turned out. i have no control over this sorry :sweat_smile:

2 Likes

Dropping in to ask if queer-coding is overrated or not.

1 Like

Gonna answer anyway, hold

As a detransitioned straight FtM now LARPing as a gay woman (simply because I can’t afford hormones right now and this country is unbearably transphobic, lmao),

I don’t think there really is a line. I mean, everything’s probably happened out there somewhere. Probably.

Hormones are also a pain to deal with. Can’t count how many times I injected into my thigh and then proceeded to nearly collapse from vasovagal syncope. That was fun.

Honestly a lot depends on whether you’re writing pre-transition or post-transition, though. I’ve always said post-transition is the easiest. Dysphoria is a hell and it likes to go from 0 to 100 for no reason and then back down to 0. It’s a pain to describe, too. Probably closest to derealisation-depersonalisation in symptons.

3 Likes

Pre for part of one book and post for all the others (I rolled with a typo :sweat_smile:)

Thanks for letting me know your experience. Very much appreciated :heart:

Thank you so much for answering me.
I appreciate that.

Like that has to be the most irksome thing to have people ask you that.
Same way people who don’t want children are CONSTANTLY bombarded with the common “why don’t you want to be a parent?” or “children are a blessing, become a parent” or “you’re weird for not wanting children.”

Fortunately, I never had people ask me why I am childless at my age when most people my age have children or spouses.

Nah, I ain’t about that life and see no need to be.
Yet I honestly wouldn’t say I am ace though, because I am attracted to males to some extent and do have sexual attraction, but I just dislike the motions and hassle of being in a relationship sexual and romantic.

Enough rambling, thank you for answering my question.
Slightly off-topic: I am VERY curious about Pansexuality and Polysexuality…A LOT!

2 Likes

Pansexuals and Polysexuals, I need a bit of an explaination on this because I know that if I Google these words, I will still not understand it.

I hate to say it like this, but I need someone to explain it to me like I am five-ish years old.

Again, I apologize.

1 Like

Thought I could add some thoughts:
I’d say asexuality is its own category, its got a whole spectrum in it (it includes terms like demisexual and grey-ace, among others) and people’s experiences in this spectrum can vary a lot.

As for the second question, I think alena’s answers encompass the basic gist of heteronormativity and how it affects people who don’t conform to societal expectations on that regard. Speaking as a demi person, I’ve heard demisexuality can be a bit confusing to understand, as some think its the “norm”. Imo there’s a difference between choosing to wait to get to know someone before doing it (yet still feel sexually attracted to them from the start) vs. requiring an emotional connection before sexual attraction develops. I’ve heard demis summarize it as “we’re pretty much asexual until we aren’t” XD

I’ve never been asked the questions aces get a lot (the ones alena mentioned), people here don’t really ask that kind of question in general, unless its parents asking their kids when are they getting a spouse or grandkids. Also I’m in a straight-presenting relationship, so we kinda “blend in” in a sense.

I can’t really say much on aromantics, since I’m not one (am hetero-romantic), but there’s likely subcategories in it too.

2 Likes

I’ve always wondered about demisexual and what that is.
Thanks for explaining that to me.

I tend to get confused about some of these because I am learning something different and new on a daily basis.

I AM HERE FOR THAT!!!

2 Likes

If you’re an asexual woman, you tend to get this one too. It’s extremely annoying. I’m in my early 20s and people have been asking me why I’m not married and don’t have kids since I was sixteen

There are many different types of asexual people. I’d recommend having a look at some of the sub-labels. You never know :tipping_hand_woman:

2 Likes

Am panromantic lol but someone once explained pansexuality to me pretty well.

“If bisexuality is a swinging door, then pansexuality is a revolving door”

Not sure how useful that comparison is for you, though :sweat_smile: That’s just the best one I’ve heard

2 Likes

What do you think of the commercialism and virtue signalling of Pride by companies? I dislike it.

1 Like

LOL! I get it now!

1 Like

Thanks, I am going to have to look inot
For most part, I feel it is purely insecurity and I just want my freedom along with my alone time without any drama or silly complications.

1 Like

That is interesting to say.
What about it makes you dislike it?

Is it because of the lack of properly informing others or how they are simply broadcasting it for profit while not caring about the community in the way others think?

1 Like

Yeah, it’s jut virtue signalling with pride flags to get people to buy their stuff, when all they want is your money. And they don’t care about you. Only your money, like everyone else. But the fact that they pretend to like you, just to get your money is disingenuous and people didn’t ask for it.

And the fact that the whole of pride month is commercialised gives off the impression that every single person in the community is shoving it down people’s throats, and they asked for it to be when they didn’t and it can also cause division with “normies” that wasn’t there in the first place, when they assume that every member of the community is like how the adverts portray them to be, when they’re not.

1 Like

Ah, I see now.

So, it is a mixture of not properly informing others and some companies get rich scheme, in your opinion?

1 Like

Yeah.

1 Like