I did it. I finally did it. 😬 part 2

[AMMeyers]

This a part two to my first thread that closed because now I have more news. And I’m kind of stressing out now… lol

But first a recap of part one:

I currently work as a night auditor (front desk clerk) for a hotel and there’s been some drama and other things lately that’s made me want to quit. Now, I live in a small town where there isn’t much opportunities out there unless I want to work at a gas station, Walmart, fast food, or the grocery store… and I don’t. But then there was an opening at the library I saw online and, on a whim, I revamped my resume and wrote a cover letter while at work. A few hours later, by about 8 or so in the morning, I got an email that said they were interested and wanted an interview. Did that, went well, but then they never got back to me and instead I received a letter a few weeks later about being rejected. And now that’s caught up, here’s some extra news…

So I had put down my manager and sales manager as a reference because I don’t know anyone professionally since I always worked under my mom and don’t have phone numbers or last names to people I actually worked with over the years (the majority have probably forgotten about me anyway). But the library made reference calls and then my entire workplace found out I was leaving. Or that I wanted to leave (because I did say I’m not since the library is the only job I applied to). But then I mentioned I was rejected and that was that.

It wasn’t until I recently went on a vacation for a week where I saw the opening again (this was in the last bit of May, when I had originally applied in late April and was rejected in early to mid May). I applied again, sent off an email, and then redid my cover letter and resume again.

When we got back, they contacted about having another interview. Did that last week, went well. Said I won’t here back for a week, though. Well… at the end of last week, my employer (the big, big boss) came to town and stayed at the hotel. It’s always stressful whenever someone from corporate comes, but I tried not to think much of it because we hardly see each other. I mean, I hadn’t even seen her in two years because everyone is asleep while I’m working. But lucky me, she couldn’t sleep and came down to chat at like 3am.

We spoke about why I was looking to leave (tried to be cordial and just give other excuses besides the drama because those other excuses are true) and then she asked me that big question: “What would it take for you to stay?” I replied with a raise.

I was making 10.50 an hour, and despite my sister having a bigger paycheck, even between the two of us, we barely make it. And now inflation is rising higher on food and gas and things are continuously tight. So my employer said, “How is 13?” I said that would be great, and she said I can think on it and whatnot.

The library’s hourly salary is at 12-13 an hour, so that’s the difference. However, this morning, my sister told me to just contact my employer so I can earn the extra 2.50. I did that. Both my manager and employer (since I contacted both of them via text) were incredibly happy… because they can’t lose me. My employer complimented me so much when we spoke… lol

But then, by about 4pm, I got a call from the library. They offered me the job. At 12 an hour. Now I’m stressing out, though my sisters have tried to calm me down and say that I can now talk the library up on getting paid the extra dollar and whatnot. My other sister even messaged me an entire list of questions and what I could say tomorrow since I asked if I could think on it for a day and they were fine with that.

But I’m mostly stressed because now everyone at work will think I’m staying when I really do want to leave and already have an offer…

Anyway, just needed to vent and update on that.

[SteadyMyLove]

I know you are stressing because of the money and because you said you’ll take the raise. But honestly from what I remember you hate your job and if taking a job that would pay one dollar less would make you happy and make you feel more comfortable then I say take the job.

You are still getting an increase and you’ll most likely be treated right.

[SteadyMyLove]

I would also like to state that going with this new job you would most likely get a raise faster than your current job would even think about giving you another one. Considering it took them this long to offer you a raise.

[AMMeyers]

That’s what I was thinking! Like yeah, 13 is a huge deal and all from what I was making, but it’s a simple dollar (which yeah, is like only 8 dollars more per day… but that’s without being taxed). No matter how I look at it, it is an increase anyway.

But I’m overwhelmed not really because of the money (part of me is, though) but mostly because my employer said I could take the raise if I stay on. And I’m not going to. They even immediately changed it so I could get the extra amount on my next paycheck next week. So it’s just the whole “Yeah… I take it back. I’m not staying” that’s freaking me out hahaha.

I think it’s because I don’t have a lot of experience in the workforce, including my insecurities, that I just feel bad for it haha

[Akje]

Congratulations! I assume you’re going to go with the library job, but either way it’s a good change, so yay! You did it! ( ˆ◡ˆ)۶ ٩(˘◡˘ )

[SecretDurham]

That’s a tough choice to make…

Stay with all the Drama for $13 per hour, or Drama-less for $12, possibly $13 per hour…

Not a great difference in wage increase/decrease, but without Drama life is good.

Either way you win in some form, it’s down to how much shit you wish to have with your new paycheck.

I wish you all the best in whatever way you decide to go.

SD

[SayWatt]

I had a similar thing at a job last year. They offered me 12$ to try and keep me but said they couldn’t implement for a couple weeks. I just moved to another job that paid 11-12$ already.

Ok you’re worried about the dollar but try talking to the Library and see. You hate your job now so don’t waste your good years on it.

[DomiSotto]

Job hunting is hard, but stick too it!

[Kamiccola]

My two cents.
Choose the job you want.
You don’t owe your current employer loyalty. All employment is at will. You can be dismissed for any reason. Do you think they’ll bat an eye if they’re told they have to cut the budget? It’s a business decision for them. It should be for you. Treat yourself as your business. Invest wisely so your “business” thrives.

$13/hr is not worth working a job you hate.

@SteadyMyLove

I would also like to state that going with this new job you would most likely get a raise faster than your current job would even think about giving you another one.

I agree. There are probably limits to how much you can earn in the library but who knows, it might open some new doors for you later on.

[MiniMoxx]

Just a slight anecdote to try and help you.

I had this type of thing a few years ago. My current job is for 8 hours a week (with lots of overtime) for just above minimum wage in the UK.
I took a second job, more money, much more hours, but I was miserable. The work ethic was awful, the uniform policy didnt really allow for someone like me: (plus size, baby weight won’t shift woman who is still trying to lose weight) and there was so much bullying.
I’d already handed in my notice in my current role because I couldn’t do 2 jobs when they kept booking me on the same days, plus be a mum and not get so burnt out.

My husband sat me down and told me: “I dont care about the money, the hours. Thats what benefits top us up for (we’re on state benefits while I work part time or not at all now cause I’m long term sick) it’s harming your mental health. Stay where you are, because it makes you happy.” He then told me it’s always better to go for job satisfaction because you will work harder, reap more benefits (sometimes) and you’re more likely to not burn yourself out.

I kept the job, sacked the idiots off and though I’m currently off sick, I’ve been employed 3 years now with them and plan on going back after my surgery, and they literally have kept my job for me because they love me, and I love them. I loathe retail but I love this job.

So yeah, long anecdote, but go with what makes you happy because you work for so so long in this life, never be miserable.

[J.L.O]

Just remember that no job owns you. You have got to remember that the guilt over leaving a job that isn’t best suited for you stems from the same emotions that cause Stockholm Syndrom. People build relationships and emotional debts in the deadliest of situations, and we haven’t bothered to name all the ways it happens.

If a work friend is a real friend you will keep them after the job ends. If they aren’t, then they aren’t long-term friend.

[AMMeyers]

All right! I’m all set to go!

The call went great this morning. They expressed a lot of flexibility for me on various things I had questions with, and they bumped it up to 13 after I negotiated so that’s awesome! Heck, they didn’t even try to deny it, they were like, “Yeah we can do that.” Which is great because it felt awkward enough asking haha

I go in this Friday (tomorrow, technically) to fill out the paperwork and then my official first day is June 27th.

So now my next hurdle is dealing with my current manager… Confrontation is not my best suite, but what’s done is done. I probably won’t see her in the morning, so she’ll come in to see the resignation letter and then my sister told me to text her as well? I’ve been trying to formulate a text and not too sure if it’s going well… haha

Also, thank you everyone for the encouragement and amazing advice between this thread and the other.

@Akje

Congratulations! I assume you’re going to go with the library job, but either way it’s a good change, so yay! You did it! ( ˆ◡ˆ)۶ ٩(˘◡˘ )

I am and thank you! It is and I’m super excited and nervous for things to be different.

@SecretDurham

I wish you all the best in whatever way you decide to go.

Thank you!

@SayWatt

You hate your job now so don’t waste your good years on it.

Exactly what I was thinking.

@DomiSotto

Job hunting is hard, but stick too it!

It is, even for a simple customer service position. Like, why…? Haha But so glad I gave it a second try!

@Kamiccola

Choose the job you want.
You don’t owe your current employer loyalty. All employment is at will. You can be dismissed for any reason. Do you think they’ll bat an eye if they’re told they have to cut the budget? It’s a business decision for them. It should be for you. Treat yourself as your business. Invest wisely so your “business” thrives.

Exactly my thoughts.

The hotel industry, much like many other corporations, are among the same toxicity of “you’re family” when you’re not. They treat you like trash for very little, are manipulative, and filled with greedy employers. There’s so much darkness in this industry that I’m surprised my parents are still a part of it when they should’ve done a career change decades ago.

And while many jobs can typically let you go without warning or reason, this is one of them. Although, in my position, I don’t think they would’ve ever let me go that quick since they’re in desperate need. But I’m done with it.

I mean, I hate front desk and customer service as a whole, but changing to a whole other setting that isn’t hospitality, retail, or food and beverage might be different experience. There’s this one TikTok video that describes their expectation vs. reality moment of working in a library and they said they mostly print and fax papers, and many of the comments said the same thing. I knew this would be a thing going in as I did some research, but I’d honestly do that (especially for thirteen an hour haha) than deal with a drunk by myself, mountains of laundry, and trying to tell people that I can’t do anything about the dog barking across the street at the mobile home park and wanting their room comped and me to go over to the house and tell the person to take care of their dog…

So, I’m ecstatic to try something new, even if it’s within the same type of title.

@MiniMoxx

He then told me it’s always better to go for job satisfaction because you will work harder, reap more benefits (sometimes) and you’re more likely to not burn yourself out.

That’s what I’m hoping for to happen with the library job. I want to be somewhere with like-minded individuals, people to actually talk to and perhaps becomes friends with, be somewhere that isn’t that toxic (my current workspace is a bit toxic with co-workers making things into big deals and my manager not being entirely fair on a simplistic situation, etc.) and not be tired all the time or dread going to work.

This is exactly how I feel now. Like, sure, I get a few hours of downtime most of the time… but there’s stress, it’s busy constantly, and it doesn’t help that I hardly get two days off. Sure, I get the whole morning and afternoon on Sundays, but I dread going to work so I don’t do much of anything and try to get as much sleep as possible. I feel like I’m burned out. And I know I’m gonna be on my feet a lot with this new job, and things are gonna have to change in my normal routine, but I can adapt to it and at least try to be a bit happier than usual, try to be a bit more lively and interested in what I’m actually doing.

@J.L.O

Just remember that no job owns you. You have got to remember that the guilt over leaving a job that isn’t best suited for you stems from the same emotions that cause Stockholm Syndrom. People build relationships and emotional debts in the deadliest of situations, and we haven’t bothered to name all the ways it happens.

This is what I’ve been trying to tell myself because I don’t owe them anything and they don’t to me (besides my paycheck lol). But I think it’s just the thought that I feel bad for my manager—who is nice and unfortunately overworked—randomly finding out that I’m leaving in a week and was excited to know that I was staying on… and it’s the guilt of doing that to her that makes me feel bad. But at the end of the day, they don’t own me, I don’t owe them anything. Me giving a one week notice (albeit, too short of a notice) is a courtesy and that I can easily walk out the door if I wanted to.

[J.L.O]

@AMMeyers

But I think it’s just the thought that I feel bad for my manager

Legit? Once this is done, send them a heartfelt card to the old work address. It may take a while, but they will find someone who does enough to where it isn’t total hell, or your manager will find a job better suited to themselves.