I'll edit one chapter of your story! (closed)

Just copy the part to a google doc and link with suggestion mode enabled. No payment is required, and I’ll accept, provided the chapter is not too long.

Doing this because I’m currently writing an academic report and I feel like I write better after I’ve warmed up editing something. A small warning though; I am by no way a professional and I don’t know the specifics of most grammatical rules–I just go by ear, what feels right, or what sounds good, but I do have some knowledge about literary devices and techniques (eng lit was terrible ;-;). I’ll mostly be editing for clarity, and the ‘show, not tell’ principle so this may affect the style significantly, especially if you like to write in long intricate sentences. Feel free to ignore any or all of my suggestions though!

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I have a boring rough unedited half finished draft lmao if you need anything to fiddle with

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Yes, please! <3

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:squish: << here ya go!! just ignore my comments haha

(also idk why this exists plse do not judge)

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oh also amare speaks awkwardly on purpose as english is his second language

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Ah, I see o.o

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thank you!!

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No problem and sorry I had to go for dinner! >.<

Feel free to link again if you would like me to continue.

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Flight of Kestrel

I’m looking for things to add/change or really anything to make my prologue look/sound better:) It’s a diary entry for context and it’s pretty short. thank you!

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Accepted!! I’ll get to it as soon as I start prepping to write my assignment today. :sparkles:

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Take your time! You can start whenever:3

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Edited the prologue a bit and the Kestral’s pov that follows!

I noticed that you tend to stitch together sentences with commas and add more descriptive words in an attempt to make it flow better but these sometimes end up awkwardly so you should be careful with that. Paragraphing might also need some work but everything else is great c:

I hope you’ll let me edit some more parts if no one else offers? o.o

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I’m surprised that you want to keep editing my story! >.<

Thank you so much for helping me with my chapters, I don’t really care how much you would like to do but feel free to do whatever you want:)

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Alright, thank you! xD

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Hello!

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I’m curious about what your, sort of, character settings and the relationship between Kestral and Noctis are? I don’t want to accidentally make them sound like they have split personalities while I’m editing xD

So far as I’ve gathered, I think Noctis has maybe a villain potential–he pretends to be upright but shows no consideration for anyone other than Kestral (he escapes with only her twice, leaving everyone else to die). He displays a significant amount of hate towards the humans, massacring them ruthlessly and even enjoying the process, but tries to hide that twisted part of him from Kestral (‘this is not what it looks like’)?

Kestral is just really naive and kind of gets dragged along with Noctis everywhere, shows unusual compassion for humans even though she has the most justification to hate them (but I’m assuming she hasn’t seen the letter yet), and in general, weak towards everything, especially Noctis o.o

I’m also curious what Kestral’s mom sacrificed herself for and which side started the war.

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They’re fiancé’s! (I think that’s what it’s supposed to mean) so that’s why they’re mostly together

I’ll just say it was the humans:3

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Ooh I see, that makes sense then… ig there’s no chance that Noctis with end up becoming a villain later? o.o

How do you want his pov to sound btw? I think your intention was to make him sound a bit more formal/serious but I couldn’t be too sure.

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Formal/serious is pretty good!

Nope

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[] can you help me? This is my prologue and I think it isn’t that good yet…