It's Foxwood's Q&A: [Now: Growing up in Japan as a Japanese-American]

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Japan has a reputation for being xenophobic. So I am not exactly surprised but that really sucks. You weren’t bullied, were you?

As for me, my motherboard is Venezuelan, but she used to tell people she came from made up country from House of Cards. I forget the name but most Americans suck at international geography.
My fatherboard would joke that he got her from a mail-order catelogue, but that would only fly in certain states, like West Virginia. In more populated states, mail-order brides are less of a joke and more of a reality.

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That was just the beginning :person_shrugging: and one of the more mild ones.

I got attacked and stuff too, but that’s a different story. There’s still a scar on my neck from it … :sweat_smile:

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Just wanted to say I relate to this so much as a Filipino-Indonesian :sob: I was born and raised in Indonesia and am now living in the US, but when people ask me if I’m going “home,” they often mean the Philippines because I’m a Filipino citizen. I’ve never considered the Philippines my home. It’s more of a vacation spot where my relatives happen to be rather than a home. Chicago feels way more like home to me now XD

Hmm, let me try to think :thonk:

  • Were you or your parents involved in expat (or otherwise foreigner-focused) communities? My family—and my dad, especially—was involved with the expat community in Jakarta, and our parish was an international parish with Masses in English rather than Indonesian.
  • How did your Japanese relatives treat you versus your American relatives? Did you feel closer to one side more than the other?
  • Would you say you look more Japanese or more American back then? What about now? My brother used to look a lot more East Asian like my mom, but now that he’s older he looks more Southeast Asian. Meanwhile I’ve looked solidly Southeast Asian since birth :woozy_face:
  • Did you know any mixed Japanese-non-American kids growing up, and if so, what countries were their foreign parents from? In secondary school, my batch gained two Japanese-Indonesian students who both grew up in Japan before moving to Jakarta, which I thought was pretty neat. Interestingly enough, one of them had a very Japanese name while the other had a very Javanese name :joy: both were Muslim though.
  • Related to the above question, what was the most common Japanese-foreigner mix you’ve seen growing up? Looking back, most of the mixes I knew in school were Indonesian-British. I knew quite a few Indonesian-European and Indonesian-American mixes too. I was one of the few mixed kids who was half Indonesian and half of some other Asian country :see_no_evil_monkey:

Also if I’ve asked some of these already, sorry, my brain may or may not have been frazzled as of late :sweat_smile:

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I was bullied for other, more, petty reasons. Nothing to do with being Japanese American.

I’ve heard of it. Watched documentaries of it. Even heard of some success cases.

It’s wild

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What? Omg :open_mouth:

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yeah… it’s kinda invisible on photos but if you look closely it’s there.

like, i’ve asked people (without any context) if there’s something there on my neck… they said immediately it looked like a faded scar so :person_shrugging: that pretty much confirms it

(none of them said it looked like something else)

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omg, yay! Another person who gets similar questions! I knew I wasn’t the only one.

I feel like it’s a weird question to ask anyway, assuming where someone’s “home“ is :sweat_smile:

I often want to say, “none of your business where I feel at home“ :zany_face:

Nope :stuck_out_tongue: Although my mom was really good at finding other foreign ladies married to Japanese husbands and getting together with them, and trying to get me and their kids to be friends (which never happened because I was too introverted and often, for some reason, they were too extroverted)

Closer to my Japanese grandparents definitely. Especially my grandmother. Just because it was easier to see them more often. Every time I visited the states, although I knew my American grandparents and relatives, it always felt like I had to figure out how to exist around them because they’re so open and American and loud, and I’m so Japanese and introverted and quiet :stuck_out_tongue:

My Japanese relatives other than my grandparents are a different story. Let’s just say, mental health disorders run in my dad’s side of the family making it hard to keep in touch.

Well, apparently, as a baby, I looked really Japanese, so much so that rude people in the states once asked my mom if I was adopted XD

But now, in Japan, people can apparently tell that I’m “half“ as they say in Japanese.

Idk :woman_shrugging:

Like I said, my mom was good at finding them XD Only Japanese-American. Idk if I knew anyone who was Japanese and some other country :thinking:

Oh, wait, there was a boy in elementary school who was Japanese-Brazilian? I think? Idk if he spoke anything other than Japanese. I didn’t know him. Just he was in my class. He was very, extremely pale in complexion and had sort of almost light brown hair. My mom would often talk very fondly of his mom. They would speak in Japanese because it didn’t seem like she knew any English.

See? My mom was very good at finding them XD

Oh, that’s interesting. One or the other parent got the say in the name, I see :wink:

Related to the answer above :stuck_out_tongue: Japanese-American.

BUT

There was a large Filipino population and Portuguese population in the town I live from 3rd grade up to high school, so, who knows? Could have been some Japanese-mixed kids. Idk if I met any :stuck_out_tongue:

No worries. I don’t think you did, and if you did, I’ve forgotten XD

I vaguely remember us talking about something along these lines :stuck_out_tongue:

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Mixed kids unite! :hand_with_fingers_splayed::joy:

Lol me in some American groups, like meeting my ex’s extended family for the first time :joy::sob: I was the shy non-white person in a sea of white people. Apparently that was more the more chill side of his family too; his mom and his brother’s girlfriend warned that the other side of the family was louder :woozy_face: but they were still nice!

Funny story, but during our first flight to Tokyo as a family, the stewardess asked my mom in English if she and her brother were “flying home.” They assumed they were both Japanese. Meanwhile they would speak to my dad in Indonesian, which my dad found insulting because he was the foreigner :sweat_smile:

You just reminded me of something: I don’t know if it’s just me, but half-Japanese people tend to have a certain “look” to them :thonk: I’m sorry if it sounds weird because I don’t know how to explain it super well :sob: but basically, even though Japanese people are East Asian like Chinese people and Koreans, the half-Japanese people I see look different compared to the mixed Chinese or half-Koreans. Like the two Japanese-Indonesian schoolmates in my batch. Joji, Conan Gray, and Starfall (both musicians) also had that “look” :thonk:

Filipinos also have a very distinct look too, which apparently not many non-Filipinos can see. We joke that there’s a thing as Filipino radar—like gaydar, but for Filipinos :rofl:

Oooh, that’s interesting! Come to think of it, I do recall a fun fact about how Brazil has one of the highest Japanese populations outside of Japan. Yet I’ve yet to encounter a Japanese-Brazilian :eyes:

Ooooh, Portuguese? :eyes: Actually looking at history, I should be less surprised :joy: but I do have a friend who’s Japanese-Filipino and grew up in Indonesia. She later moved to Japan starting college though!

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Half kids with European or American parents on one side or another do tend to look a certain way. I can’t describe it either :stuck_out_tongue: Don’t worry, not weird

Maybe it’s the nose, or the eyes, the eyebrows? I’m thinking it’s around there.

Interestingly, for me, I can’t tell if someone kid or adult is half Japanese if they are black American. They just look American until they speak fluent Japanese and/or I see their Japanese mom or dad.

There’s a black American influencer who is half Japanese and she speaks fluent Japanese, but until she opened her mouth, I thought she was American. But nope. She lives in Japan and even has a Japanese name, and she even said she can’t speak English. Must be hard because everyone around her would assume she does.

Are you always right though? :smirking_face: