need help with an autisitc character

My nephew is autistic. People still use the high-functioning term. I don’t know if it’s offensive but I think someone that is autistic wouldn’t say that about themselves, they’d just say autistic without adding any modifiers.

So a few interesting details about my nephew. He was diagnosed when he was around three or so because he barely spoke a couple of words. He was a pretty chill kid, could entertain himself for hours on the simplest thing.

He has a twin sister who isn’t autistic. Interestingly, she started school a year after him. When it was time for kindergarten, she wasn’t emotionally ready to leave home and sit around strangers, so they held her back while he attended special ed sessions.

Few years forward, the teachers at his special school said that he was wasting his potential there, that they thought he could handle regular school. So parents put him in a public school. He’s doing very well there. He’s keeping up. Meanwhile his twin sister is a year behind and still isn’t doing as well in school.

Outside of school, he’s very organized, likes routine, chores, and gardening. From the five children my brother has, this boy is the easiest to raise. :joy:

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you migh be aware but due to difference in traits (them being generally more subltle/more subdued) women tend to be diagnosed less often or at a later age than men. Idk if you plan for your character to know or not, but if she is diagnosed this might be from her own research that led to a diagnosis or an early diagnosis because a family member or friend noticed something was “off”. I would strongly advice looking into suspected differences and consult personal sources if you want to talk about what asd feels like and look into stories of relatives, loved ones, partners, friends if you want to know what asd looks like. I personally don’t know many sources though. Feel free to ask if you have more specific questions, because otherwise I’m going to write my whole life down and that just takes too much time.

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would you happen to know any resources i could use for my character?

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Trying to explain my experience with Autism is like trying to explain this poem:

Every three months I learn of another thing that I do is weird to people who aren’t Autistc. I geniunely don’t care about being normal because it never negatively effected my life.

All you really need to say is that she’s Autistic and figure out what exactly she struggles with and what her general attitude towards being Autistic is.

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thank you so much for the poem!

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The lakes don’t have water, they have clouds. Try and wrap your mind around that.

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I could link some yt channels that handle asd in general and in women, but that’s about it.

resources

https://www.youtube.com/c/TheAspieWorld/playlists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fVPeK1VoFM&list=PLsnq_HpT7puSqNdqu3I___iAUAZ6GjNg7

https://www.youtube.com/c/AspergersfromtheInside/playlists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PciqHgDLRLw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKsFIRAD8Yo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGN_KlwJ-uE

also gonna mention that while these channels still use the term Aspergers/aspie it has been recently retired due to harmful origin. Instead Aspergers is currently counted as part of the autism spectrum

I haven’t watched most of these so I’m not as confident to show them, but they might be good too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAxtwhHFowA&t=2s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7q2A3ic0-w

Would strongly recommend to check the comments of all of these videos cause it gives even more perspective.

Also it might be interesting to check out Hannah Gatsby. She explaines her experiences with ASD really well and she’s just awesome in general.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lXbpgU9OWk&t=1s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaT__mzkHbA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87qLWFZManA&t=2s

Hope this helps out!

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thank you so much again! :hugs:

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no problemo, if you have any specific questions don’t hesitate to reach out!

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oh, i was wondering (you don’t have to answer if you don’t want too) but how did you react when you got the diagnosis? once again, you don’t have to tell me if that’s too prying.

I got diagnosed early. I regard it with the apathy common in humans towards ants.

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It’s pretty hilarious that’s the question you’re asking me cause despite being a woman, I was diagnosed at age 5 so there was no surprise. I’ve known all my life. See, my mother is a teacher who actually follows her extracurriculars so she knew the traits and stuff. Apparently I was an extremely quiet, self-providing baby, almost never crying or “getting annoying” when I was tired. I just kept myself occupied on the floor. I never needed a pacifier either. It was only when I started to go to school and didn’t do very well with people (being very bossy, controlling and agressive) that my parents thought to reach out to a diagnosing group (collective of psychiatrists specified in neurodivergence for children, dunno what it’s officially called) to get an answer. I was told myself when I was seven because I needed councelling to learn to organizing myself and regulating my emotions/actions. I still remember walking out of that room and thinking to myself, no one can know about this, I’m just shy and quiet (the excuse I had used for my asocial behavior up to that point). I have no clue why seven year old me thought that or how the fuck I had such an awareness of inacceptance. It might have been my classmates, my insecurities, no clue. I didn’t read much at that age yet so it can’t have been from there. Looking back I do regret holding on to that idea for so long because while I think it served me well in primary school, it wasn’t necessary in middle and highschool. I might have been more a part of the group if I hadn’t kept that part of myself aside.

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