Thanks. It was nice to wake up to comment spam.
In the first chapter, I wonder if I take too long going through Ian’s thoughts when he’s trying to meditate. It’s kinda a hack. I’m able to say a lot about him in an organic way, but I wonder if it’s too much.
You made a comment there on one paragraph so maybe you agree.
It’s just that the pace picks up afterwards and there isn’t more time for introductions later.
I am totally stuck.
You don’t have to reply to every single comment. Some are just reactions. They’re a good sign because they mean the reader is engaged.
So reserve your answers for questions you can actually answer without spoiling the story, like some trivia that expands the content.
You always have to keep in mind other readers who can see the prior comments.
It depends on why. We don’t know who the judges are, and if it’s important enough, an answer may affect the outcome.
I don’t answer 24/7 confusion questions. Just read the thing. But if you have a genuine issue in your writing (where you aren’t clear enough), some interaction helps cement what you need to edit.
So, it’s really going to be severity that decides that for you.
Have you guilted your character to doubt his choices yet? Is it time to?
How do I do that? He’s in a bar with Mictlan Mike lol.
Ah, is MM capable of chasing skirts when he’s supposed to be advising Atl? If so, make it a sudden chore for everything to stay on topic until Atl snaps from the strain. Yay, 400 words.
That sounds like a chore in itself writing that. 
Idk anymore where I am.
I think I pivked the wrong story.
Segueys are chores. You’re having a bit of burnout. Break time for a minute?
Anyway, Think about what kind of advice MM is supposed to be giving. Is it only on the situation or is it on fighting, or his partner? IF all three, cover them in dire need order. shrugs
Yep.
Atl is getting distracted because he sees Aztec characters on MM’s arm and because the drink he is drinking reminds him of home.
My pleasure! My train ride was made shorter 
I like the part where he gets interrupted by his own thoughts, it’s just the bit before that that felt a bit long to get through. I left some notes there, dunno if that helps. Let me know if you’d like me to elaborate, I could dig into it a bit more.
Wishing everyone luck for the next round!
I’ve been too distracted by my main project and haven’t had any motivation to add new chapters to my ONC story. It was just teetering at 7,500 words so I sprinkled an extra 500 words into the old chapters and hit submit. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Can you send me 3k words pls? D:
Then it’s good to go: “You miss home, don’t you?”
Valid work.
Then Atl will be like wtf how do you know? and the game will be over. I need more tnesion first.
Then, “Man, I miss my mama’s cooking.”
As in, Not Atl’s mom, MMs mom, so that it evokes the dreams, but isn’t about Atl, for him to accuse MM of nefarious mindreading?
lmfao maybe that can work. Atl would be so confused.
If MM makes things about himself, it can continue to keep Atl offguard.