Feel free to use these resources and link your pitches below on Thursday!
Welcome, Wacky Writers, to my #PitMad Workshop!
by Mari the Savage
If you have Twitter, a completed manuscript and were thinking of taking part, then it’s about time to whip your pitch into shape.
In case you don’t know what #PitMad is, I recommend you check out this article first, from the organizer’s website. It contains all the rules and instructions you need to know in order to participate.
If you don’t necessarily want to do #PitMad, but would still like to workshop your potential pitch, you are more than welcome to do so! Using these rules and resources, try to write your pitch in a post below and I will review it for you, shortening it as needed or providing specific feedback where I feel there is room for improvement.
Why should you listen to me? Well, you don’t have to, but as one half of the Wacky writing-column duo and known as Mari the Savage to my fellow mods, I have become quite adept at doling out advice and chopping out redundant words Nicely, of course!
The Fine Print: You are free to help each other out on your pitches, but this is a Writing Improvement topic, so please, no chatter. I will delete any chatter posts. The workshop will run until December 1st, but I may or may not temporarily close it at times depending on how many pitches I get. My timezone is UTC+2 so if I take more than a few hours to reply, I’m not ignoring you, I’m probably sleeping.
#BVM = Black Voices Matter (to be used by black creators) #POC = Author is a Person of Color #OWN = Own Voices #IMM = Immigrant #LGBT = LGBTQIA+ subject matter #IRMC = Interracial/Multicultural subject matter #MH = Mental Health subject matter #DIS = Disability subject matter #ND = Neurodiverse subject matter
If you’re having trouble crafting your pitch, try using this resource: The Five Finger Pitch by Michael Lengsfield. I came across it some time ago, during a (free) screenwriting course on FutureLearn, and initially thought it could be useful in plotting a book, even though it’s meant to help you pitch your story. Give it a go here:
I find the video very educational, but in case you’re not able to watch it, here is the TL;DR: you start with the outline of a hand, approximately life-size; this is important, because the limited space on each finger forces you to be concise
On each finger, beginning with the pinkie, you will fill out basic information about your story as follows:
pinkie: pertinent information - GENRE
ring finger: somebody - MAIN PROTAGONIST
middle finger: wants something - A GOAL
index finger: has trouble getting it - OBSTACLE
thumb: reasons why you love the story/why it’s different - WHAT’S IMPORTANT
You can download a pdf with the empty hand outline + a hand filled with what each finger represents + a hand featuring an example from this link here.
pinkie: pertinent information - Historical Romance
ring finger: somebody - Saoirse, a WWI nurse
middle finger: wants something - figuring out who the wounded stranger is that washed up on her beach
index finger: has trouble getting it - the stranger has lost his memories
thumb: reasons why you love the story/why it’s different - the story is told across alternating timelines and POVs and explores a woman’s perspective of war
Pitch #1:
In 2019, Aidan is a kilt-wearing tour guide on the cobblestone streets of Edinburgh. In 1919, Saoirse is a Great War nurse who’s got nothing left to live for, until the sea brings a naked, unconscious man to her feet.
Outlander x Downton Abbey, w/ a selkie twist #PitMad#NA#HR
Pitch #2:
Saoirse, a WWI nurse, takes in an amnesiac stranger when he washes up wounded on the beach. The mystery of his existence unravels her grief, testing the limits of her compassion.If horror beyond human imagination was possible, why not goodness and kindness? #PitMad#NA#HR#F#A
Pitch #3:
A tale of love and loss, war and family, woven through alternating timelines and POVs. 2019: Aidan is an Edinburgh tour guide. 1919: Saoirse is a grieving nurse who discovers that selkies might be real. What fate connects them, a century apart? #PitMad#NA#A#HR#F#WF#LGBT
My suggestion would be to take out Downton Abbey as a comp, and move it to the start, like this:
OUTLANDER, but w Selkies
In 1919 a Great War nurse finds a reason to live: a naked, unconscious man washed on the forbidding shore of Scotland. In 2019, a kilt-wearing tourguide searches for the same thing in the same place.
No, the only story that I love enough to pitch is She Kills, and I got my verdict on it. Agents can’t connect with the protagonist. Ismar belonged to the 90’s, when female protagonists could just kick ass, nowadays they need vulnerability. I need to rewrite it again.
I don’t know if you’re after feedback on yours, but I’ll give it anyway!
I think the third one gives the most info (2 protagonists in potentially connected timelines, selkies, war, family, love) which neither of the first two entirely capture. But there is something about the way the first one is written that grabs me more…
Sorry, forgot to comment. I think comp doesn’t mean one for one story, rather it means ‘for the same audience’. And I am pretty sure you will be a hit with the Outlander’s audience
Don’t say that!! Each writer has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. I, for one, could never write the kind of stuff you do!
Haha, I’m supposed to be helping others on their pitches but seems like no one’s got any soooo…I’ll take what I can get
That’s a very good point! Let me try an updated version…
Outlander but w selkies #PitMad#NA#HR
2019: Aidan, a kilt-wearing tour guide on the cobblestone streets of Edinburgh. 1919: Saoirse, a WWI nurse who’s got nothing left to live for, until the sea brings a naked, unconscious man to her feet. What binds them, a century apart?
I am not big on questions in the end of pitches, but it may be a personal preference. Do you see a way to turn it into a punchline? Like something that can be a subtitle on your cover?
A century apart—but bound.
?
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I wanted to show my PitMad loglines, in case anyone is curious or have suggestions:
BRIDGET JONESx365days
She’s got sass, he has abs. Together they don’t fight crime.
After an urban explorer inserts herself into a mafia family struggle, she has to team up with a hitman to escape a decrepit CIA dungeon. #PitMad#A#CR#AD#gothic
A half-demon with a self-destructive healing talent is shunned by the society until he becomes a beggar, but Lady V. Unlucky, V.Average braves civil war, magic and mayhem to save him. #PitMad#A#F
Space Spinster’s choices: grab her loyal cat, join a caper with her nemesis & dig up her inner rebel… OR miss out on being the first human to explore the alien-run Galaxy. Ain’t no time for journaling in 2696! #PitMad#SFF#asexual
Powerful #matriarchal clan, strong daughters and military glory are solid life goals. But until the cutthroat mercenary sees men as more than pretty faces, the dogma will stop her meteoric rise. #PitMad#F#A#polyandry
Ex-PRINCESS-BRIDE just wants to marry her DRAGON, but when a magic chastity belt threatens their HEA, these two badass adventurers are left racing against time to break the curse before it breaks their hearts. #PitMad#F#A
Ohhh, I like this! It really packs a punch, while hinting to something deep underneath.
I’m personally not so sure about the 365 days association But I love this! It’s a perfect showcase of who you characters are and what your story is about.
I would omit the here.
I’m not sure if V is a Twitter shortcut I’m unaware of or Lady V is supposed to be a character?
I really like this one! It packs a whole kickass vibe.
I feel like this falls a little bit flat. I love the first sentence, but I’m not really feeling the second one. What dogma? What does it have to do with the mercenary or the pretty men faces? How is it supposed to stop her?
Ooh, yes, I love the twist on tropes this presents! Really clever and creative
Why the secrecy? I mean, I feel like you could still do the pitch with your current accounts and then once you publish it, you can obviously change your penname and everything Up to you!
Oh, v. Is for very. Lol, I probably outsmarted myself there. I will think about it! Also, yeah, Ismar is a hell to pitch too. I am trying to go for character growth there.
Hmm, I thought that might be it, but I still couldn’t quite figure out how to read it. I’ve tried again and I feel like this makes it easier to understand:
A half-demon with a self-destructive healing talent is shunned by society until he becomes a beggar, but a v unlucky, v average Lady braves civil war, magic and mayhem to save him. #PitMad#A#F
But you’ve still got a lot of characters left for this one, so you could spell it out or add something else to it.
Hmm…I’m trying to think of a way to help, but I’m still not sure what you mean by the ‘dogma’. Like…her sexism? Or the strict rules and traditions she’s bound on breaking?
Edit - is this any close to what you mean?
Powerful #matriarchal clan, strong daughters and military glory are solid life goals. Collecting husbands, not so much. But unless Ismar, the cutthroat mercenary, starts to see men as more than pretty faces, her meteoric rise will be untimely curtailed. #PitMad#F#A#polyandry
Nicely, of course! 
I just felt like Outlander on its own might be setting the wrong expectations 
Does this ‘vulnerability’ apply to male protagonists as well? Coz if not… 
But I love this! It’s a perfect showcase of who you characters are and what your story is about.
Up to you! 
But yeah, could do.