Seeking a Beta-Reader

Hiya!

I’ve never done this (outside of fanfiction), but here goes! I’m looking for a beta reader for my current original WIP that is on WattPad, and is considered a first draft. It actually started out as a conversion of a fanfiction I had based on the Jak & Daxter universe (Jak X) from years ago. It was about two minor characters and I didn’t really borrow much from the fandom so it seemed easiest to convert. The only key element was the racing with cars that had weapons, but there are lots of other games/movies/media out there that have cars/weapons.

Now it’s a completely different story. Unrecognizable and all written from scratch. Not much aside from maybe bits in the earlier chapters were borrowed from the fanfic version. I’m sure there are plot holes. I’ve been spotting them too and making notes.

I’d really love it if someone could look over whatever is posted on WattPad chapter by chapter and provide feedback? There are a lot of chapters, so even if you can do a few, that would be a huge help. I understand that not everyone wants a huge commitment.

In exchange, I can do an R4R if you have something you’d like me to review in return? If not, I’d be happy to follow you on WattPad, give you a shout out on my profile, even Twitter if you’d like? If there’s anything else you can think of, lmk.

The feedback I’m looking for is:

  • Grammar/typos/punctuation etc.
  • Plotholes. Things that aren’t clear or don’t make sense. Things that are contradictory.
  • Thoughts on the characters. The pacing.

Here is some info about story if you’re interested:

Genres: Romance, action, drama, humor. It’s a mobster enemies to lovers romance that doesn’t take itself too seriously, but there are mature themes/profanity. Will probably be a “lemon” way later that hasn’t been posted yet. It’s hard to describe the style of the story, but the closest is thinking of it like a mob romance if it were a light novel with a side of Shounen genre.
Chapter currently published: 26
Link: Without Parole - Rachel - Wattpad
Synopsis/blurb:
Armed racing is Atropellado’s deadliest and most profitable sport. And wherever there is profit in Atro, there is crime.

Gervassio Blaze has left his most prized possession - ownership of the armed racing franchise - to none other than his second in command: Lancet Steel.

Lancet Steel, an armed racing champion retired from the circuits too soon, is finding that being saddled with his former boss’ responsibilities and baggage is no cakewalk, especially with baggage of his own. With the beasts closing in on the Blaze family from all sides, Lancet must maintain the ever delicate balance between loyalty to the business, and loyalty to himself.

Rose Gloxinia has a legacy to re-build after her father’s passing. With Gervassio Blaze seemingly off the board, the rival crime heiress knows a golden opportunity when she sees one. Unfortunately for her, with the deeds to armed racing being in Steel’s hands, it’s as good as stuffing them into a rocket and shooting them into the sun. Will a past rendezvous between her and Steel, along with mutual interests, be enough to solidify her family’s future, or will it bring her family to ruin?

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It looks like a fun story, so I will try reading a chapter here and there. So long as you are okay with the feedback I give :sweat_smile:

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Yay! Thank you. And yes, bring it on. So long as it’s constructive. I’m ready. :laughing:

If you’re still looking for a beta reader, I can help too

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That would be so awesome. Thank youuu. :sob: Is there anything you’d like for me to do in return?

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Forgot to say that I’d continue reading your story in return. Although I didn’t start reading it for that purpose, I legitimately thought I’d enjoy it, and so far I am. :wink: So it works out perfectly.

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You could give me feedback on this story:
https://www.wattpad.com/story/283341402-psetha-rewritten

I revised all chapters so I’d appreciate if you started from the beginning but you can pick up where you left off, too. How about reading one chapter for each chapter I read?

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Oh wait, yeah, I already read some of this. I think I read up to chapter 4? If you’re still okay with receiving my feedback, I can continue. My chapters are twice as long as yours so I would read 2 for every 1 you read. Might take me some time though. I read too many things and ADHD. It’s a struggle. :laughing:

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You can give me a shout out then, if you liked the story. No need to read it over again when it’s difficult to read.

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Sure, will post a shout no problem. And I didn’t mean reading your story was a struggle. I meant keeping myself focused on one task, regardless of what it is, is a struggle. I’m happy to continue reading if you want. Up to you.

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I understand, don’t worry. I would just rather you not having to read chapters you have already read because of small changes and there aren’t many chapters yet. So, a shout out will be just fine. Should I start reading now or later when my head is clear?(it’s currently almost morning here but I can’t sleep :sweat_drops: )

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Whenever you’re up for it. No rush. :smiley:

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I’ll read it with a clear mind then. I wanna be as helpful as possible

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You don’t really have to :innocent:

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I’d love to check out your story. I have a sci-fi with 24 chapters if you’re interested in doing a beta exchange, but if you don’t have time to do an exchange I can add your story to my list and beta it once the semester is over.

Here’s the link to my story: King Eden - Rowan Carver - Wattpad

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I can’t promise regularity, but if you want I can pm my feedbacks to you on Wattpad or here…

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Oh, sure! I don’t mind doing an exchange! Will add yours to my list and take a look as well. Thanks! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

That would be awesome, I’d appreciate that. You can send it to WattPad if that’s ok. Do you want anything in return?

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Na, I am bored, I love reading and for some reason editing others work as well…

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