I’ve never done this (outside of fanfiction), but here goes! I’m looking for a beta reader for my current original WIP that is on WattPad, and is considered a first draft. It actually started out as a conversion of a fanfiction I had based on the Jak & Daxter universe (Jak X) from years ago. It was about two minor characters and I didn’t really borrow much from the fandom so it seemed easiest to convert. The only key element was the racing with cars that had weapons, but there are lots of other games/movies/media out there that have cars/weapons.
Now it’s a completely different story. Unrecognizable and all written from scratch. Not much aside from maybe bits in the earlier chapters were borrowed from the fanfic version. I’m sure there are plot holes. I’ve been spotting them too and making notes.
I’d really love it if someone could look over whatever is posted on WattPad chapter by chapter and provide feedback? There are a lot of chapters, so even if you can do a few, that would be a huge help. I understand that not everyone wants a huge commitment.
In exchange, I can do an R4R if you have something you’d like me to review in return? If not, I’d be happy to follow you on WattPad, give you a shout out on my profile, even Twitter if you’d like? If there’s anything else you can think of, lmk.
The feedback I’m looking for is:
- Grammar/typos/punctuation etc.
- Plotholes. Things that aren’t clear or don’t make sense. Things that are contradictory.
- Thoughts on the characters. The pacing.
Here is some info about story if you’re interested:
Genres: Romance, action, drama, humor. It’s a mobster enemies to lovers romance that doesn’t take itself too seriously, but there are mature themes/profanity. Will probably be a “lemon” way later that hasn’t been posted yet. It’s hard to describe the style of the story, but the closest is thinking of it like a mob romance if it were a light novel with a side of Shounen genre.
Chapter currently published: 26
Link: Without Parole - Rachel - Wattpad
Armed racing is Atropellado’s deadliest and most profitable sport. And wherever there is profit in Atro, there is crime.
Gervassio Blaze has left his most prized possession - ownership of the armed racing franchise - to none other than his second in command: Lancet Steel.
Lancet Steel, an armed racing champion retired from the circuits too soon, is finding that being saddled with his former boss’ responsibilities and baggage is no cakewalk, especially with baggage of his own. With the beasts closing in on the Blaze family from all sides, Lancet must maintain the ever delicate balance between loyalty to the business, and loyalty to himself.
Rose Gloxinia has a legacy to re-build after her father’s passing. With Gervassio Blaze seemingly off the board, the rival crime heiress knows a golden opportunity when she sees one. Unfortunately for her, with the deeds to armed racing being in Steel’s hands, it’s as good as stuffing them into a rocket and shooting them into the sun. Will a past rendezvous between her and Steel, along with mutual interests, be enough to solidify her family’s future, or will it bring her family to ruin?