Which one of these two excerpts are more interesting and why?
Perpetuation
Today is the first day of my new life. Or something like that… I dunno…
I woke up inside a walk-in wardrobe that’s got a mirror in it and now, some people are there, getting dressed and trying to find some clothes. My friends(?), who I’ve never seen before are looking at me and shouting my name(?), and raising their eyebrows. They seem confused. So I’m just moving on out of here…
… Onto the next passage that brings me outside the door and into another room…. that brings me to another white door with some stuff written in Latin on it, that seems to be inside a hotel… or an apartment building?
Better go inside.
There’s a phone on a round, wooden table and a woman holding a kid, leaning in to kiss me. Must be my wife… oh, wait? I’m married? MARRIED? I’m gonna get laid tonight!
I’m grabbing the phone and taking my keys too. Going outside. The wife’s looking at me funny like I have three heads. The kid’s kinda confused too.
I’m going back outside again. Out the back entrance. Shit. It’s cold. Now I realize why they were looking at me funny. The town has two… Centras and a crossing. And a junction. Kinda bare. Or is this a city? Or both? No idea.
Anyway, the sun is shining and some school kids are talking about me and wondering why I’m wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and am… barefoot?! in the cold weather. Who cares? I’m gonna go for a run in the sun.
Run down the street, past the sign. Away from the traffic. Away from everyone. Away from reality. Somewhere to figure this mess out.
Running for another hundred yards. Running until I find the park and can chill there. Hope no one sees me.
I just need some peace and quiet right now.
Broken Clocks
BOOM!
David’s back almost cracked as he landed on the tarmac below. He rubbed his tailbone and crawled along the sidewalk. The two businessmen in suits with briefcases who had heard the explosion stared at him and shook their heads.
“What?” David asked as he glared at the men.
One of the men examined David’s half-naked, glowing body. The pink color was fading at a rapid rate. The man looked back at his surprised friend. “Is this one of those aliens you’re always going on about, Franklin?’
“Aliens?” David chuckled. “Do I look weird to you?”
“Sir, you’re wearing nothing but a… thong? And your hair looks like Tarzan. Are you sure that you’re a human?”
A confused David stood up and looked at his reflection in the nearest shop window. The man was right. David looked back at them both, bewildered. “So… what year are we in? And where the hell am I?”
Franklin scoffed and looked at his watch. He then pointed up to a sign. “Son, the date is April 1st, 1966, the time is 1 pm, and you’re in Southern California. Angel Falls, to be precise.”
David laughed even more. “Is this some sorta prank?”
Franklin shook his head, as he noticed the cops patrolling the streets in their Ford. “This is no laughing matter.”
David heard the sirens. “Now, what am I gonna do?’
The other man shrugged. “I suggest you get your ass out of here before you get arrested.”
“Any idea where I could go?’
Franklin handed David a ten-dollar bill and pointed to an orange building down the street. “You see that place, Ninos? Go there.”
David nodded and thanked the man, and bolted down the street as fast as he could manage barefooted. He managed to close the door before the cops passed.
He was greeted by a peculiar-looking man with a mustache and a monocle, wearing a pink and red pinstriped suit.
Which one sounds more interesting, and should continue?
- Perpetuation
- Broken Clocks
0 voters
