A Wild Jasper Appears

Koi is a hobby? How can a fish be a hobby?

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Koi care and breeding is considered a hobby and there are even koi beauty contests.

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Wow. And are the beauty standards unrealistic?

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So far nobody has been feeding their koi fish energy drinks so it’s less that the standards are unrealistic and more that they are hyper-specific.

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By the way, subscribe to Lindsay Nikole if you haven’t already.

She’s the first girl I clocked before I knew she had a girlfriend. Followed shortly by Astrid Lundberg.

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Yeah TLC hasn’t released Small Fry and Big Money yet, like Toddlers and Tiaras for fish.

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I don’t know any of those names.

Or maybe I do and just can’t remember.

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Toddlers and Tiaras is an American reality TV show about beauty pageants for girls who just learned their shapes and colors. It’s not well known outside of the US and Canada mostly because it could be used as a justification for nuking the North American continent into the Hadean Epoch.

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Okay, that sounds creepy. I think your president will be interested in that.

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If you think that’s bad, wait until you hear about Honey Boo-boo!

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Oh, I think I’ve heard the name of that before. All I remember is she’s a super famous toddler or something.

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She used to be a toddler. But the she grew to be an adult.

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Oh. And how’s she like as an adult?

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What is shown on TLC would have you believe that she hasn’t changed at all but we all know that is a bold-faced lie.

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I see.

But like what’s “changed at all”? Like she still behaves like a toddler? If she’s an adult now, I can imagine she’d have adult interests like taxes and George Washington.

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She is edited to be sassy and immature and a drama queen but she has a job outside of being a reality tv star.

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Oh.

That actually makes sense, and something I’d have hoped for. I wonder what she’d be like IRL.

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The issue is that people have to prove they couldn’t get a local to do it, which most people don’t want to do… sooo :((((

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