Adulting

I love that!!

OKAY! It’s college time!
Got any more advice? :eyes:

A padlock on snacks may have to happen in a dorm.

1 Like

This. :point_up_2: This is something I struggled with when I was younger. I was very trusting and believed every “friend” I made was genuine/would last, but most don’t. Quality over quantity. I had to learn to be okay with moving on from friendships that no longer served either side or was unequal in that respect because I’ve always been a person known to give more than I get. And I learned the hard way that the saying, “Treat people how you want to be treated and they’ll return the favor,” is very wrong. A lot of people, the more you give, the more they’ll take and they will be just fine with that. Don’t make the same mistake.

This is another good one. After losing my mom to cancer, a lot of ugly sides to my family came out. Sides I never imagined or things that bugged me about them over the years that wasn’t such a “big deal” turned out to be a BIG deal during that time when I needed them most. You see true colors when something major happens in your life, a loss, birth, marriage, moving etc. One saying I like is, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” I was always making excuses in my head for my family whenever they let me down or made me angry, thinking that okay, when shit hits the fan at least, I can count on them. I was wrong. I should have believed the signs when I saw them.

At the same time, don’t lose complete hope. During that time in my life, people I never ever expected anything from showed up and some beyond what my/my mom’s so-called family/friends went. I grew closer to a handful of people after that experience and cut off most of my mother’s side of the family. And @Xelyn_Craft is right about loving someone that hurts you. One of the things I struggled to come to terms with is witnessing the horrible behaviors/intentions my aunt had during that time, my mother’s sister, and the fact that I still grew up with my aunt, had some fond memories and yes, loved her. You can love someone who is genuinely not a good person and thought it sounds contradictory, it is what it is. So the most my aunt gets out of me is a birthday text because she always sends me one first (my bday comes first in the same month) and that’s pretty much it. At first, I felt guilty. Like I was the “bad family member” for holding a grudge.

But there are some things you can’t undo/apologize for. You can apologize for missing a birthday party, there will be more birthdays but someone dies only once.

1 Like

One piece of advice that a college professor told me that I wished I listened to was, “Don’t get a boyfriend. He’ll only get in the way of your ambitions.” :laughing: He told this to the entire class and he had two daughters of his own that he claims he gave the same advice to. I don’t think he meant, “Don’t get in a relationship” ever, but not to let someone else cloud your judgement when it comes to investing in yourself. All the work you put in when you’re young whether it’s college or learning skills on your own, whatever, they’ll pay off years down the line.

He also said, “You’re never too old to change your mind.” For some reason in high school we put all this pressure on students like YOU MUST DECIDE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE NOW! And they want you to choose a college/occupation etc. But since these “kids” haven’t experienced adult life yet, they might discover years down the line that they wanted to do something different. My professor was a renowned comic book artist and he said he got into that in his late 30s. Changed his mind. And that lots of people do that. You’re not “stuck” with whatever you decide to do at 18. Granted, there’s some priviledge involved there because sometimes it’s not that easy to “switch” when financials are involved, but it’s still something to keep in mind.

Also, learn all the things high school never taught you. Taxes. Managing debt. Paying bills. Cooking a few simple recipes. Laundry. How to clean a stove. Sew a button. Drive. How the government works. History. Legit history. This is a big one. So many people today yelling about politics and they don’t know the difference between a country or a continent. I’ve watched YouTube videos of this, these are people that vote, and they asked this one girl, “Where is the wall of China,” and the b*tch said Japan! Another question was, what two countries are above/below the US. I don’t remember the guy’s answer but it def wasn’t Canada/Mexico. If you want to be involved or support a cause, do your proper research at least. Nothing worse than someone mouthing off and they don’t even have facts.

Ooh, this is a good one for relationships. People change and that’s ok. I’ve been with mine for 20 yrs and who we were at 19 is not the same as who we are now. You think you get with someone and they stay that person forever, and once the “butterflies” go, then it’s a sign that it’s “over.” No. The grass is greener where you water it. Of course, assuming both sides are willing to put in the effort.

1 Like

Ooh, this! This reminds me! Make sure you have paperwork in order in case anything God forbid happens to you. Even a health proxy form which doesn’t require a lawyer and you can do for free, you just need two witnesses and get it notarized. So if you’re ever in the hospital and are unable to make your own medical decisions, you decide who makes these decisions and what things you’re okay with like DNR, do not resuscitate, DNH, do not hospitalize etc. I know it’s dark and you’re young, I pray you live a very long healthy life, but I learned this the hard way when my mom didn’t have stuff set up and I had a hard time with the logistics in addition to grief. Make sure your parents/guardians have their shit too. It’s been 5+ yrs and I still live with guilt/doubt about whether I made the right decisions for my mom. Having your loved one’s wishes on paper will def help ease that along with the ensuing trauma.

Put beneificaries on your saving’s account assuming you have one. If you get life insurance, make sure you have beneficiaries there too. Best place to save money is 401k, car, house. Those are the 3 things the state (this is for NY) can’t take from you if you’re in a nursing home/hospital let’s say and they need to take stuff to pay your bills. They can take your social security checks. Looks up the rules in your state. NY is also a state where you do not inherit your parent’s debt so if people hound you for money if they ever pass, in NY, you’re not legally obligated to pay those debts. Don’t hoard money in a place where if something happens, the state can take it rather than your intended love ones.

4 Likes

I forgot I posted in here XD I don’t even know why I posted that. I’m totally fine at the hospital on my own :stuck_out_tongue:

I live in Japan, so, things might be done a little differently.

3 Likes

Pls remember this

1 Like

Come on Idalia, speed up so you dont make Cat 3. Get this over with. I have a birthday this week.

1 Like

For a change it gives this weekend to be nice, and some of next week and if that’s the case, I’m getting my Sangria out, that I have been keeping for over a month, and I am drinking it with some random fruit in it.

We might get some remnants of Idalia in the middle of the week, at this rate, though. Caught up in the Atlantic, somewhere, stalking us as a light storm.

1 Like

Really deoends on if it hits florida like projected. They said Katerina would hit Florida. Their modeling is plinko.

2 Likes

Yeah, same here in the UK/Ireland. There is a forecast from the Met Office that looks at their own models, the US and the European models for weather and they do a really deep dive into ‘the week ahead’ so if their weather models are correct, we’re in for a good time.

1 Like

Thank you so much for giving so many detailed responses. Love that <33
I’ll definitely keep all of it in mind :smile:

2 Likes

My son just ate his sister’s library book.

3 Likes

He has a taste for knowledge :smiley: !

2 Likes