AuDHD makes learning new things feel nearly impossible or completely impossible!

The Chatters All Wellness
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The screwed up thing about having undiagnosed AuDHD is when it comes to finding other hobbies is the way my brain reacts when it gets too hard.

If I have to get super excited about something new and fresh, then fantasize/create delusions on how much I am growing and improving on it, but when I actually do it and learn just how harder it is, I end up defeated on the spot.

In my mind I am already great at it and adapting well, in reality I am a true beginner who has to practice to get to what I see in my delusions and fantasies. In my mind I am a pro and a fast learner, the reality is starkly different from the dream. Realizing that defeats me because I have to learn, when I am wanting immediate results and feeling satisfied.

THIS IS AND NEVER MY FAULT, MY BRAIN WORKS SUPER DIFFERENTLY AND MY LIFESTYLE AND OTHER THINGS MAKE IT HARD FOR ME TO STICK WITH IT!!!

The moment I am happy to learn something, I dwell on the positives and how many amazing things I want to do, I never focus on the actual act of learning and growing. That’s boring to me. For my brain, it defeats the purpose of getting me into it because it’s a boring thought.

Writing is an on and off thing that took me over a decade to get to finishing a novel. Reading physical fiction novels is the exact same, it took me over a decade to start and finish a book. People will say that is good. NO IT IS NOT, I DON’T CARE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT! I hate the thought that I will be in my late forties trying to learn how to draw again or anything else.

That is the bullshit cop out that comes with auDHD and I hate it so much!
I was so ready to crochet and that happens. I didn’t return the things I purchased, but I put it off until I can try it again. It’s just I was far too excited that I grossly neglected how much harder it was, because in my head, I was already great at it.

TL;DR: When I am very excited to try something new, my audhd works against me when I realize it’s not as fun as the fantasies.

Thoughts and feelings?

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@Xelyn_Craft
@CoffeebyNight
@NotARussianBot
@JojoDahlia
@SecretDurham
@Akje
@Churro

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100% relateable

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Man, it sucks because I do want to learn old and new things.
I genuinely do want other hobbies.

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Maybe the secret is to find a hobby that’s fun to do whether you’re good at it or not…? Where the pleasure is in the performance of it, and not just in the finished product once it’s done.

Like I hate cooking or baking, for instance, but love having an awesome cheesecake once it’s finished. Other people love cooking and baking and don’t really mind if the cheesecake comes out inferior, because they had fun gathering the ingredients and mixing and baking and putting it together.

There’s also the idea of starting small, so failures aren’t so hard to take. Many great artists start out doodling, just scribbling little drawings of no importance when taking notes in class or whatever. But every doodle makes you a little better. (*＾-‘) 乃

May I ask what you were trying to crochet? Was it something big, like a sweater? Or something small like a coaster?

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I wasn’t trying to make anything, because I am very new to crocheting as a whole. I was learning the basics to get to that point where I try doing something or anything.

The real problem was the yarn that gave me trouble. I got a type of yarn that doesn’t make the crocheting process easy. I was struggling to make it work.

I am so new to crocheting that I didn’t bother to ask enough questions on the yarn and things. That was how excited and delusional I was.

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Crocheting is a great hobby to pick up, but it does have its learning curve! Starting with something small helps while you learn the different stitch types and techniques

Mind if I ask what yarn was it that you got? I believe one can crochet with most yarn types, with some being easier for beginners to work with and unravel/reuse if a mistake happens

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This yarn:

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I got it earlier today from a craft store called Michaels.
Another thing is the texture of the yarn. It bothers me and feels weird on my hands.

I can’t explain it, but the texture makes me uncomfortable.

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Ooh, acrylic is a popular type (I still use it), good for beginners but can be prone to splitting depending on the quality
And yes, the texture is rougher compared to cotton (another good beginner yarn alongside wool)

Another thing is whether the hook size and yarn weight are compatible. Usually the packaging on the yarn says what hook sizes are recommended to use

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I was trying to learn the basics of it. I can’t even try to think about anything else.
I am still trying to grasp the slipknot and the whole chain thing.

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I’m using a 5.5 mm/US I-9 aluminium hook.

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A good start! Part of learning crochet is basically repeating the stitches over and over until you get the technique down

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Yeah, I can’t grasp it though. I am struggling even as I watch YouTube videos on how to do it slowly, step by step.
I might do a bit better if I am doing it one on one with some random person who is skilled at crocheting. I know nobody who crochets that or where to go a place to take classes in my area, that’s free.

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Maybe, different people learn crochet best with different methods

I did it with a combo of Youtube tutorials and a bit of reading with pictures, one-on-one or classes could also be good (maybe even an online class)

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@NatilladeCoco and @Akje

This doesn’t have to be solely about crocheting. It’s in general how my mental health affects me when it comes to hobbies, new and old.

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I could buy another yarn that’s better than the one I showed you.
Because the one I have one, gives me a weird feeling.

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So long as the yarn is compatible with your 5.5 mm hook, should be good

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Good to know.

Thanks for answering.

I don’t want to give up on crocheting, I genuinely need to just find a yarn I can deal with better than the one I have already.

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Unfortunately this is really common with ADHD/AuDHD. I am the exact same. Certain things have an immediate wall where things are HARD, and I tend to just give up on them. Hell, I can’t even draw anymore because I USED to be good, went to art school, blah blah, and now I’m not - so I get 10 mins in and throw the towel in, it’s too hard.

I think the sentiments about working on smaller things first works. I can’t speak to crocheting, but I tend to get ahead of myself when learning something new and just assume with 20 mins of learning I can do anything. Not true, and when I was learning 3D for example, I had to keep taking steps back. Even now with motion graphics, even if I DO know how to do something, I’ll take a step back, try it, and then look for a youtube tutorial to see how they do it. Maybe they do it a different way and it’ll be better.

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It’s annoying as hell!

I really don’t want to wait years to gain back my love for an old hobby or a new one.

That’s not good.