Being thankful even if: story time, tiny rant, tiny question

The Chatters
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Okay, this is a thing that happened to me many, many years ago and maybe at the time, I should have been aware of what these people were like. I’m being vague, because calling out people is not something I will do.

This is about being thankful even if.

Story 1: So, I found a person in a discord server recently. I saw a certain thing was still going on. Username different. Request, the same. I remembered the trouble I went through to try to please that person a long time ago, and them not being satisfied. I tried again, and again, and then they ended up doing it on their own, and without thanking me for my efforts.

Story 2: A user asked for a cover from me, and kept rejecting the covers I spent hours making. They would reject, not say thank you, and keep coming back.

They would say strange things. “oh sorry, I decided not to write the story…and here’s another request.” or “oh sorry, I forgot to tell you I don’t want the cover. Here’s another request for a different story.” Eventually, I realized maybe they don’t get it that it takes hours. So, I told them it takes hours. They said they understood, then requested for another cover.

And you know what? A month later they tell me they decided not to write the story. And they didn’t thank me. Then a few weeks later, they came again. I rejected them. Enough is enough.

Both of these were many, many years ago.

Both have something in common: not thanking even if.

If someone does something for you, even if it ends up not being what you want, you should thank them first. First, before anything. Really important. Because it matters for future relations. Now I will never do anything for the person of Story 1. How am I to trust my efforts won’t be acknowledged? Clearly they can do it on their own and don’t need my help :confused:

For Story 2, you can see it. I rejected them when they came again. Enough is enough. Because after so many times, how can I believe they won’t reject the cover and not say thank you?

From those two stories, you can see them not at least thanking me for my efforts really hurt our relations. Even after all these years, if those people came to me for help, I don’t know if I can trust them. I would think they might still take advantage of me.

Am I paranoid? Or am I reasonable?

Sorry for that little rant, but seeing person from Story 1 asking people for similar help that I gave them years ago reminded me of the incident.

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The paranoid or reasonable part doesn’t matter, really: until money is in your hand and/or you’re under contract, youre not obligated to do jack.

People who act entitled don’t have a right to you or your work.

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There are plenty of people out there who want something for nothing, and give no consideration to the time it takes to do such things (out of the goodness of your heart). You’re right, they’re users. I see these kinds in many art circles.

So you could, the next time they ask, tell them, “I don’t do free commissions, if you want something it’s going to be X dollars per hour - no changes once the draft is approved for post production. (I’ve even had them give me a deposit). All money is to be paid when the final product is finished, whether you still want it or not.”

And don’t undersell yourself. $20 per hour is cheap, relatively speaking. It will certainly weed out the leeches…

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Even if you intend to do things for free, you can give a limit of what you’re going to do:

1 comply with a request.
1 major edit.
2 minor tweaks.
Anything beyond that is determined by your time, and their kindness.

Free is not perfection, it’s not customer satisfaction guaranteed, it’s you’re being given a favor.

Anything beyond that is “the kindness of your heart”.

It’s why I like the draw for fun stuff–there’s none of this obscene pressure on people.

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If it did involve money, I would do that.

It did involve time. I put time and effort to help them and they didn’t thank me. I understand if they don’t want it. I’m fine with them saying, “thank you for taking the time. I like it, but it’s not quite what I’m going for so I won’t be choosing your cover this time. But thank you so much.” I might feel a little disappointed but at least they were kind and honest about it.

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Yeah, courtesy on that level seems to be at a premium these days.
But I still assert you were right to cut ties with them, they used your good will and even threw it away.

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You’re in the right to feel that way.

I feel like people like this take advantage too easily, and so, if you decide to work with them or in general, it’s best to set aside rules that get taken care of first.

Like, when I started on Wattpad eons ago, and started doing critique exchanges, there are tons of people who wouldn’t even go to my story, so I made a rule—they had to critique mine first before I went to theirs.

And even then, it started to become this thing where they weren’t looking for feedback, but instead, more views and comments, mostly praise. Some of them would delete my massive comments (that would take me 2-4 hours on writing/reviewing), and some of them wouldn’t thank me, and others would just comment on my story with a “this so cool” comment, not giving me any respect in return.

It’s rough…

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I had a system for reviewing and such. Still, some people would give three lines of comments of nothing but fluff. They would always find a way around it.

In the end, at least they gave me reads :stuck_out_tongue:

At least they gave you reads. Not the best, but it’s not nothing.

Btw, check your thread asking for critique partners :wink:

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OOf, Yeah I’ve had a few of those. It’s frustrating when you’re looking for some true critique and feedback.

Yet, each time I go through a Beta cycle, I pick up another truly valuable exchange with another person on Wattpad. And I keep track of those who dis my rules, and I don’t do them any favors moving forward either.

1 Like