okay first you mention the character being surprised and the reader as well–> so do we want them to experience the surprise at same time (option 1) . or do we want them to be ruminating on fact surprised. (option 2)
this won’t help with the description directly but it will help with setting up the description and presenting it.
now once make decision about that.
if you choose option 1 - how does your character take in the architecture? like even if don’t know how it looks like do they see details first or overall or what, how do they look at things observe them,
if you choose option 2- what are things they would get stuck on, how would they comment on them why.
this will setup the how
now regardless of which you choose
is it effecting them viscerally?
is it effecting them intellectually?
is it both?
if just viscerally - use words with more hard consonants in your writing
if just intellectually- avoid hard consonants but write like you are painting something surreal
if both- write like painting something surreal and use more hard consonants
this will setup the presentation of the how
the regardless of which one you choose- is the character avoiding their feelings in some way deliberately (option 1) or are they accidentally avoiding their feelings (option 2) or are they embracing them (option 3) or is it over taking them (option 4)
option 1: add in and sprinkle casual surface level speech style phrases
option 2: sprinkle in character’s thoughts using regular every day speech style
option 3: sprinkle in the character’s gut feelings using every day speech style intermingled with descriptions using a poetic soundng style
if
option 4
then think- are they trying to regain composure (1), struggling to regain composure (2), everything has broken loose (3) but still a tether holding them (4) on, or completely broke down (5)
for each of these think of the amount of breadth and breathing patterns the words and order of words you use take
1- breadth that is steady pace and rhtymn
2- breadth that is steady rhythmn but frantic pace
3- breadth that is both frantic in rhythmn and pace
4- breadth that is out of control in rhythmn and pace
if you want any combination of the options- then just combine the notes. same for within option 4
this will setup the which.
now the exact which is gonna depend on pov and tense.
present first- keep as is; rest is determined by your writing style/story
past first- decide how narrator feels now- is it still shocking for them (1), are they embarrassed (2) , are they trying to defend their past self (3), seeking empathy/sympathy for past self?(4)
1- do as if present first just with correct tense
2- make the rhythmn of the sentences feel like/come from the energy when you are tense, uncomfortable, and feeling hot/ flush/blushing
3- make sure everything is paired with an observation like you are journalist reporting something
4- sprinkle in specific pieces of information about the main character- that aren’t obvious from scene that we do not know yet but that still connect in some way
present 3rd person limited- do you want shock reader feels to blend with mc or be independent
- if blend: keep commentary, exposition to as bare minimum as possible
- if independent: break up the description with dialogue
past 3rd limited- do you want reader to feel as if recalling own experience or as if experiencing someone else’s experience and feeling shocked by it
if recall- intermix with moment before and moment after as describing and other contexts
if some else- have your writing mimic the instrumental style of a song that matches what main character feels
past 3rd omniscient- n/a to goal you described
present 3rd omniscient- n/a to goal your described.
