Any confusing “she/her” where you don’t know who it is.
Anything not adding up and that is confusing.
If you are a YA reader, would you read this book?
Self-publishing deadline: October (but I need this blurb done soon, so I can get ARC readers)
Title: Between Roses Genre: YA portal fantasy Tagline: The answer lies somewhere in all the nonsense. (new tagline list here updated July 28, 2024)
Blurb:
Seventeen-year-old Eryn would do anything to please her friend until a promise to only care about herself turns family moments sour. To avoid confrontation, Eryn escapes to her late grandmother’s room on a whim and finds an odd letter. It’s written by some “Alice” who talks about a key to a magical realm. In the envelope is also a tarnished bracelet Eryn’s strangely drawn to.
Putting it on was a big mistake!
The bracelet chucks her into the realm from the letter. The Gibberjabby, a monster of pure madness, haunts the realm. It controls the captain of the Red Queen’s army, Ace, and sends him after Eryn for a magical power she didn’t know she had.
When Eryn accidentally frees Ace from the monster’s mental clutches, she learns about a long-time battle against the Gibberjabby. Her power could stop the monster, but Eryn would rather not fight anything.
A sweet hare boy who lost a friend to the Gibberjabby, and a quiet, kind soldier who sees Eryn as a beacon of hope begin to change her mind. But to save their home, she must figure out the secrets of the strange power she can’t see, feel, or control. The madness is growing and it threatens destruction of the realm. Time is running out.
Should be begins instead of begin, just sounds better to me to add the s. Though, that’s just my personal opinion. Other than that, it sounds good and I would be interested in reading this fun spinoff of Alice in Wonderland. The tagline is much too vague though and sounds lazy. I would work on it.
It seems straightforward to me; not in a bad way, but in a like, “This is what is going to happen in the story” sort of way (if that makes sense). I love that.
That said, I think all of the blurbs have some great descriptors in them. I’m a big fan of “nonsense” and “monster of madness.”
Is mixing some things from the blurbs together an option and something you’d be in favor of? It might add a bit more flavor to your tagline!
For example, maybe you could do something like, “Thrown into a realm of nonsense, Eryn will be forced to confront a monster of madness if she is to ever get home.”
Just a suggestion! I’m looking forward to the end result and giving Between Roses a read one day
(but I need this blurb done soon, so I can get ARC readers)
