When going into a romantic relationship communication is key before and during, right?
Honestly, I do observe and notice things in others. In regards to couples relationship, there is something that I noticed in most of them.
Not many talk thoroughly about their future as a couple in terms of marriage and starting a family. People assume and think that the person they love would want those things. Some do warm up to marriage and being a parent, NOT EVERY PERSON FEELS THAT WAY!!! So, talking and trying to change their mind is going to work.
As weird as this sounds, some people donât want marriage or children, yet do just want a romantic relationship. Not everyone is build for taking care of kids, some do over time unlike others who strongly donât.
I get society isnât kind towards people who donât want kids and being married, at some point something has to giveâŚright?
Nope! I donât know any couples except my parents, and they never discussed anything beforehand either. Itâs sad that every other couple out there is like that too, but people are so flipping stupid it doesnât surprise me. There couldnât possibly be anything more important than family planning, not only for the couple but also for society at large, and yet no one takes it seriously. People are morons. (âŻ^.^áŚ)
Youâre definitely not crazy. I see it all the time as well and just go why the heck did you people not talk about this? If you did, why the heck did you think other person would change their mind when they made their stance clear? Yes, compromise is a thing, but even it has its limits which is why people need communication But sadly in this social media age everyone is misusing words like âboundariesâ and âabuseâ so this conversation no longer happens and compromise is no longer a thing.
On the whole âstarting a familyâ thing, what really pisses me off is that society doesnât see people with no or only one child as a âfamilyâ. Itâs so stupid. By family doesnât qualify for any âfamily discountsâ because thereâs only one child and childless couples donât count because theyâre also not a âreal familyâ. It is idiotic.
And the push to have kids and get married? Gods if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me when Iâm getting married or going to have kids, Iâd actually be able to afford rent for the rest of my life.
Communication is super important but so many people have a twisted idea of what it is because of social media and some people just wonât take ânoâ for an answer
Like, fuck society, seriously fuck them.
If I want to focus on me and what brings me joy, I donât need them breathing down on my neck with their hot ass breath.
Couples need to talk and stop assuming shit. If the person you love only loves you and never wants a child, respect that then move on to another person. Itâs not that damn hard to try falling in love again or not at all for a while.
Itâs ridiculous and not that hard to have a conversation but because of the normalities we now have today in our modern society, people just wonât sit down and talk about these things anymore. Both sad and annoying
my boyfriend and i have only been dating a bit over two months now, and weâve actually have talked about both of those things a little bit, albeit the marriage bit was less an intentional talk and more of i was telling a story regarding a friend and marriage which led him to mention his own stance on it, if i hadnât of told him that situation/story i actually donât know if we wouldâve ever talked about it lol so i agree actually that this generation is kinda bad at talking about goals/intentions/plans in regards to marriage LMAO (but also, only two months! i donât necessarily think itâs detrimental to not have spoken about it just yet) but less so with children? when youâre sexually active i feel like it HAS to be spoken about? if people arenât talking about it while being active thatâs just insane and wild to me. but also, casual relationships are very much a huge thing in this generation; dating to date/have fun/enjoy life, so people in those types of relationships definitely probably donât really think about those things. i made my intentions very clear that iâm very anti casual relationships (either we die together and merge our souls or i donât want it) but that also doesnât mean iâm like âYeah iâm marrying this guy one day no doubt about it!!!â iâm just âyeah this is serious for me, and while i canât control if it doesnât work out in the future (and that would be sad, but ok) that wonât stop me from hoping for the best that we have a futureâ so itâs definitely a more important topic for my relationship. i think it just depends per couple, but overall i do think itâs not as openly discussed as it definitely should be lmao
Yeah if you are going two months into a relationship that is understandable. You and your boyfriend may need a bit of time to understand each other in various of ways, but it is great to remember to not to dismiss it, since if things grow between you two or any couple, then talking is a must for whatever future you both want together.
So, yeah, I find that casual dating thing a weird thing. Then I wonder just how long they plan to keep it going when they meet someone who wants a lasting relationship, but lacks communication. Guess there is nothing, but heartaches.
Honestly, I am observant, but I am not in any way knowledgeable in the ways of romance. Seeing is one thing, experience is another I suppose.
My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years, and weâve been fortunate to have good communication regarding all sorts of topics, including our future goals (heck, only a few days ago we talked about our plans after graduation)
I agree with korra that in casual relationships it may not be a priority to talk about the future, but it is good to be clear on what kind of relationship you want and be sure that the people involved are on the same page. As in, itâs best to not assume you both want the same thing if you havenât talked about it (or heard the other personâs opinion in unrelated chats). Itâs also less hurtful to find out your goals werenât compatible early into the relationship rather than later
there isnât super much for us to discuss; on the same page about kids, and while we arenât in terms of marriage, our different stances arenât actually ones that really effect each other (iâm not a gigantic fan of his stance, but it doesnât actually bother me if that makes sense) and could develop with each other with time so iâm
someone i befriended recently, cool as hell, participates in open dating; i think just a month ago they were dating four people at once? (consensual, everyone knows/knew and was ok with it) but now, only two people, one of which is someone else i befriended at the same time, also cool as hell, and while i canât speak for the others, i know for the one guy i know, theyâre happy together! one of the people they arenât dating anymore i know they stopped dating because they met someone they were interested in seriously so they ended amicably and i assume theyâre now seriously dating whoever that person is. i personally wouldnât engage in open relationships, they arenât my thing, but theyâre all happy and it works out for them! of course, not every relationship will go or end well, but itâs definitely possible. at the end of the day, it is about communication; their open relationship works so well because of it, so if itâs lacking in that department⌠yeah, not fun, probably.
My now husband and I tapped about marriage and kids and we started dating in hs. We didnât seriously start talking this stuff until I graduated college and we moved in together, but itâs a conversation that I def think is important to make sure everyone is on the same page.
communication 