This is a poll.
- They give you a mean glare/stare down.
- They shout out your full name or your entire first name.
- They yell at you.
- Other (explain in the comments).
Whether you live with mom and/or dad or use to and live alone, what were somethings that you’ve did when you are younger or recently that pissed your parents off?
No need to go into full blown detail about it.
There might be somethings you want to keep to yourself.
So, explain a bit about it if you want to.
All of the above and then some -_-
I am literally hiding in my room because a parent is throwing a tantrum over building IKEA furniture
I usually don’t, tbh. I always have to infer it based on like body language and actions I almost wish they yelled at me, because it’d feel less like walking on eggshells and constantly worrying that I’m doing something wrong.
My mom would sit on her phone and ignore me ^^’ or turn up the music in the car so she couldn’t hear me talk. Or other ways to stonewall me / tune me out. If she had a particularly bad day, she’d lecture me in a raised tone/yell and say “I’m not yelling,” in the calmest voice if I told her she was yelling, but this was rare and only if she completely snapped about something.
My dad on the other hand would never bring up or show that he was angry, and it was always impossible to tell if I was doing something wrong because he didn’t have any semi-obvious signs like my mom. I’d only know if I made him upset by side comments from his friends or partners.
Usually get a dressing down, followed by some mild to heavy expletives and finalised with the usual “I expected more from you, you ungrateful, utter, unabashed bastard of a son!”…
Yeah, I get that final wording a lot… Yet they dismiss the fact that I have a stable life, a job, and that for the past 20 years I have brought up their beloved Grandchildren, who they adore, and can do no wrong. Quoting that they are “A credit to Society, and lovely, well balanced children.”… Yet I’m a so called “Fuck up!”
So… Where did I truly fuck up?..
Amswers on a post card and I’ll pick a winner at the end of the month (End of Jan 2023)…
Please read the small print, and ask the owner of the landline before you make a call to the unlocated number, and the email address, which is also forgotten, and probably hidden behind many firewalls of GDHQ and their many thousand VPN’s.
It’s honestly not that hard to tell. They literally yell at you, and my dad has anger problems so he’ll be screaming at the top of his lungs, pounding his fists against the walls or table or bed, cussing up a storm. My parents also fight a lot, and have had police called on them dozens of times. It’s not a pretty sight and gets super annoying.
After intense therapy, they react a lot better now. Used to range from verbal abuse, yelling, and ignoring me for days on end.
Now, it’s more or less “you’re upsetting me right now, I need to take a step back” and then an hour or so later, they return and we’re able to discuss it with a lot more maturity and calmness. Though, it’s very rare they feel that amount of anger towards me.
I think something important that we’ve all learned is that anger is rarely what you’re actually feeling. In fact, anger is one of those emotions you can train yourself not to feel at all, or feel very little of (though it’s obviously easier said than done)
Oftentimes, anger is used to cover an emotion you’re insecure with feeling. Sadness, hopelessness, vulnerability, confusion, etc. So, if you’re able to take a step back and think “Why am I angry, what emotion am I suppressing with anger?” lots of times you’re able to get to the actual root of the issue.
I used to use anger to cover fear. Flight or fight response was triggered, and most of the time I fought to extensive ends for something that, in hindsight, didn’t matter or could’ve been solved with a bit more self-awareness and reflection.
Who says it’s one thing? I’ve gotten all of them for one stunt or another. I’ve even got the “no sign of it on their face” calmly explaining what’s wrong with the situation.
Voted “other” because they would talk in a clipped way.
“Listen. To. Me.” you know that talk.
My mom used to be a yeller, but not much anymore. She’s a clipped talker and a glarer. If she’s really upset, she’ll start to swear and then raise her voice and tell ME to not yell or raise my voice. Usually when I’m calmly watching her, waiting for her to cool off. It’s gotten a lot easier to wait for her to cool off. She’s a lot easier to deal with.
My dad, oh boy, you don’t want to get him angry AT ALL. If he gets really angry, he hits tables and then complains about the bruises. When he is slightly angry, he raises his voice and swears. He’s an intimidator. He will BELLOW. I can’t wait for him to cool off because he won’t unless my mom intervenes.
The last thing that annoyed my parents?
Probably, my time management being wonky.
Then I moved out
Times when they’re not fully angry yet, but I know they will be, both will act standoffish. They want me to ask them what is going on and then wait for me to figure it out and if I don’t, scold me about not being able to read their minds. That was when I lived with them.