The story is called Project Glorious thought the official title is Beyond a new horizon | Book 1 of the Red Reign series.
Here is the summary of the story’s first book:
Come check it out here
Before the age of ten, Jorildyn could never remember what her life was like. She only remembers her days within the capital city of a Shadowland, cowering underneath a massive skeleton of a fallen being from an ancient war. Fast forward to many years later where she is the adoptive daughter of Calverstone Family, the wealthiest of the High Elite class and a Knight working hard to climb the ranks. The one thing Jorildyn wants is to unravel the mystery behind why she can’t remember her past and the true meaning behind wanting to be a Knight.
Meanwhile, Princess Aeris of the Thornwood Dynasty left her family to get away from the royal life to heal on a mental and emotional level, after losing her big sister and biggest supporter when her parents died. She decides to join the Knighthood Union Alliance to become a Knight as a way to find a path for herself, along with diving deep on a secret surrounding the First Dynasties, that not even she can get clearance on. Even while being a Saintling Princess, there are things that Aeris will learn mean nothing in the great scheme of things.
Jorildyn and Aeris will meet as their lives as Knights intertwine, forcing them to engage in each other’s world. As they travel together, make friends and enemies, learn the dark truths of the vast worlds, and face forces that can ruin them, these two women are determined to engage and everything.
There is a force coming from afar, a crimson colored race called Ravakalyn—searching for their missing queen, in order to reclaim the world for themselves. Follow into the epic lives of two female knights moving forward as the world enters a turbulent change, a change that brings a grim dawn. Grand adventures along with many deadly twists and turns, how will these women face a coming horizon?
What are your thoughts and feelings? How do I make it into a blurb? Got any questions you are willing to share with me?
[CHARACTER] was [STATUS QUO] until [INCITING INCIDENT] happens, and [HERE’S HOW THAT AFFECTS THE CHARACTER’S LIFE]. Now [CHARACTER] must [GOAL] despite [CONFLICT] or else [CONSEQUENCE].
I like this one too, but can’t remember where I got it:
☜(ˆ▿ˆc)
Your blurb needs a tightly crafted premise sentence that can answer
the following questions:
● Who is the protagonist?
● What is the situation? What is the hero’s personal condition at the beginning?
● How will that condition be changed, for better or worse, by the hero himself or
by the antagonist he faces?
● What is the protagonist’s objective? At the beginning, what does he want?
● What moral (or immoral) choices will he have to make in his attempt to gain
that objective?
● Who is the opponent? Who or what stands in the way of the hero achieving his
objective?
● What will be the disaster? What misfortune will befall the hero as the result of
his attempts to achieve his objective?
● What’s the conflict? What conflict will result from the hero’s reaction to the
disaster? And what is the logical flow of cause and effect that will allow this
conflict to continue throughout the story?
Once you’ve answered these questions, combine them into one or two sentences:
Restless farm boy (situation) Luke Skywalker (protagonist) wants
nothing more than to leave home and become a starfighter pilot
so he can live up to his mysterious father (objective). But when his
aunt and uncle are murdered (disaster) after purchasing renegade
droids, Luke must free the droids’ beautiful owner and discover a
way to stop (conflict) the evil Empire (opponent) and its apocalyptic
Death Star.
For a blurb, you really need to just tell the people all the exciting awesome parts. Just really hype it up. Be extra dramatic.
Before the age of ten, Jorildyn could never remember what her life was like. (Jorildyn can’t remember her life before the age of ten. might be better) She only remembers her days within the capital city of a Shadowland, cowering underneath a massive skeleton of a fallen being from an ancient war. (too much stuff) Fast forward to many years later where she is the adoptive daughter of Calverstone Family, the wealthiest of the High Elite class and a Knight working hard to climb the ranks. (you might say, instead, “…Elite class. She’s drawn to knighthood and strives to become a Knight, but she doesn’t know why.”) The one thing Jorildyn wants is to unravel the mystery behind why she can’t remember her past and the true meaning behind wanting to be a Knight.
The last sentence could have more punch to it. Make it sound like it’s the most awesome and mysterious thing ever.
Jorildyn wants to uncover her past (you already said at the beginning that she can’t remember her past, no need to say it again) and the true reason of why she’s driven to knighthood.
I don’t think you have to say “meanwhile”. I’ve seen a multiple character POV blurb without the meanwhile.
Or, As Jorildyn’s and Aeris’ lives intertwine, they will learn the dark truths of the vast worlds and face forces (what kind of forces? deadly?) that will threaten (use these sort of dramatic words) to ruin (good word!) them, their families, and the world. (not sure of the truth, but added this to show you how to be dramatic)
It would be great if you could shorten the heck out of this bit and put it in the paragraph before. You don’t have to talk about the Ravakalyn. Too much information.
Jorildyn can’t remember her life before the age of ten. Fast forward to many years later, she’s the adoptive daughter of the Calverstone Family, the wealthiest of the High Elite class. She’s drawn to knighthood and strives to become a Knight (could be more dramatic…), but she doesn’t know why. Jorildyn wants to uncover her past and true reason why she feels so destined to become a Knight.
Princess Aeris of Thornwood Dynasty has left home to heal mentally and emotionally. The loss of her sister and biggest supporter after their parents death took a toll on her. She joins the Knighthood Union Alliance (“as a way to find a path for herself” is kind something that is implied) and dives deep into a secret surrounding the First Dynasties that not even she can get clearance on. (And then, say something a little more about what kind of secret it is. Dark? Spooky? Disturbing? Goes against everything she believes? What?)
As Jorildyn’s and Aeris’ lives intertwine, they will learn the dark truths of the vast worlds and face deadly forces of a crimson-skinned race that will threaten to ruin them, their families, and everything they ever loved.
So, this is still quite long, but it’s a good start I think.
I really appreciate it. I am going to redo the blurb. However, I do want to know what the others say to give me a sense of how everyone on here do their blurbs.
I’d be reading along, editing, and then “Wait, did I say the exact same thing in different words two sentences ago?”
Extreme example (because I can’t think of a real one) would be like, “There was a ghost in the house” and then two sentences later, “The house was haunted with ghosts”
