I am starting to figure myself out more now!

The Necromancer's Lair
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I am going to dive right into this topic because I don’t want to ramble on about random things.

Okay, I never dated anyone, nor have I had sexual relations with anyone.

I honestly think that is the low self-esteem/fear/potential laziness/lack of confidence severely holding me back.

I used to say things like “I am not allowed to date” or “Meh, not interested”. Now, it like I don’t get asked out nor go out of my way to seek romantic relationship.

I don’t think I am in the right headspace to date anyone. I highly think that the untreated ADHD could be at work. I am too wrapped up in myself to play the role of someone’s girlfriend.

Plus, I am not all that physically appealing yet. If I started caring for myself physically and mentally and emotionally, chances are I would be admired in some way or another.

Most people would say dating nowadays is overrated along with having sex. Which is understandable because it is something everyone wants. In all honesty, I probably won’t ever have both a romantic and sexual relationship with anyone.

I am thirty-two years old now and never been down that road. Probably won’t. Got too much shit in my life that needs to be dealt with and I would feel like the worse human being if I dated someone while having these problems.

So, now I am more aware than ever on what is really wrong with me.

Plus, I starting to crave sex more than I should and it is really freaky. Like, I don’t go out of my way to get it, but I do think about it constantly which is a bit bothersome to me.

Anyway, I am not going to keep on rambling on this. What are your thoughts on this matter?

I am definitely able to see things clearly now that I am putting the pieces together.

Thoughts?

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bump.

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I’m 27 and have never had a sexual or legitimate romantic relationship with anyone either. I tried online dating for a while but it was a joke. I’ve only been on one actual date in my entire life, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. I still crave a romantic/sexual relationship with someone, but I feel like no one is interested in me for various reasons. I don’t think there is anything wrong with me though. Sometimes that’s just how the cards fall, and more and more people are having them fall that way for them too. I know a lot of people in the same boat. I don’t think you should believe there’s anything wrong with you either. Our society, within the last ten or twenty years, has made it incredibly difficult to form meaningful relationships with other people, romantic or not. It’s only gotten worse with Covid. This is not your fault. We’re losing touch with ourselves and each other and it is definitely a problem. But it’s not one you should blame yourself for.

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I’m 20 and find dating and all the expectations that come with it to be extremely overrated. Worry about yourself first and take care of your own needs then, and I cannot stress this enough, WHEN OR IF YOU ARE READY, then start worrying about getting with other people but only if that’s something YOU genuinely want to do, not because it’s something society demands we do lest we be labeled as freaks or outcasts. Just because you’re not interested in dating for sex doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. If you start feeling that way about people, do it at YOUR own pace and within YOUR limits. Also, being physically appealing is one of the biggest scams every created by modern day society. If someone only gets with you 'cause they think you’re hot, then do NOT start a relationship with them. Also, if you do go down the dating/romantic/sexual relationship road, always ALWAYS put yourself first and don’t let anyone force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with because you think it’s a way to fit in. I know it probably sounds like this is the kind of thing you’d say to a teenager, but I’ve seen many adults both around your age and older make these mistakes.
Oh, and I cannot stress enough how there’s nothing wrong with you for not being interested in this stuff and only now starting to get cravings. Everyone is different. Our brains and hormones all work different. Maybe it’s trauma, maybe it’s medication, maybe it’s just who you are. The point I’m trying (and probably failing) to make is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for never going down that road.

ALWAYS PUT YOURSELF AND YOUR PHYSCIAL AND MENTAL HEALTH FIRST.

Oh, and if you don’t think anyone is attracted to you because you don’t think you’re good looking, honestly, that’s a good thing. People who only go for looks are so shallow and annoying, and that’s being nice. When/if you find the person, you want someone who isn’t just after you for looks but because they are genuinely interested in you as a person, not a sex toy or money bank, and genuinely want to spend time with you

Signed
An asexual person with waaaaaaaay too many friends with relationship issues who always come to me for advice for reasons I cannot figure out

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This… Bump the hell out of this!

Bumpety bump bump!

SD

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This is really insightful. Thanks.

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