NOTE: This thread is merely an observation of me as a reader. I’m not looking for advice because I realized that this is a problem that I personally need to solve all on my own. If you have advice that is fine. This is just me figuring myself out.
Whenever I read a book, I get up to ten chapters or twenty then I eventually stop reading the book. I won’t go back to book until weeks or months later or not at all. Though there are those highly rare moments when I do finish reading a book, but I think that is because there is something about the book that has me a bit hooked. Yet it’s rare. When I do read a book, nothing is registered in my head because it’s distracted and cluttered. It’s not aphantasia, but it is a scattered and clouded mind that can’t focus. I believe my autism side of AuDHD makes it hard for me to focus on a book. I slowly get burnt out from reading and trying to focus on reading, that I can’t do anymore. The same happens when I listen to audiobook. I thought that large print books would help, but it still doesn’t matter. Reading manga is the same because the pictures draw in me and I skim through reading the words (sometimes, but most times). Doing critiques is tough because I have to read and I’m in no shape to do it.
So, I will stand on this hill by saying that my AuDHD makes reading hard. This is purely a me thing and this is what I’ve learned. Now, how to get better at sticking to reading fiction or even non-fiction that is a hard one. I still read, I just don’t finish the books unless by some weird miracle.
Maybe if I gravitate towards books that are really thin to read or stay away from thick books. Though I would always wonder what it would be like to read a thick book even though I can’t handle it. Still, I need to do things that would work in favor of my AuDHD and make reading enjoyable.
I wouldn’t say that reading is boring, because I can read up to some chapters. I just severely deal with my AuDHD which makes reading tough and staying focused. Even while taking medication to help, I am still struggling, just not as much as years ago.
That is what I discovered about myself.
I might do good with thinner books, I mean I can only hope.
What are your thoughts?