I made a thread on Reddit, dear God, they don't mince their words...sorta.

The thread is talking about how I dwell on wanting to publish and getting published when I am still in the early stages.

I stress about making it big, having readers, and so much more, when I am not there yet.

I ain’t making strides to make myself published and doing everything I can, my mental health works against me even when I think about it.

The thing is that I am focusing on the future of a possibility that may or may not happen and giving myself stress over it, when I am not doing enough.

I am still on draft two of Project Succession, I have a long way to go, before I can think about publishing.

What’s the point of stressing now? Why not focus on loving my stories and writing along with getting better?

AuDHD makes it hard as fuck to stay hard in the present. Therapy and meds won’t help much, I am fully aware how severe it is for me.

Reddit was mean, just not the mean I was thinking. Still, I am stressing because of it, I can feel it in my gut and body overall.

Thoughts and feelings?

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@Akje
@alenatenjo
@Xelyn_Craft
@JojoDahlia
@Churro
@copyedit
@J.L.O
@MatthewJH
@NotARussianBot
@NatilladeCoco

I went on Reddit for my own reasons. I know that. So, I am going to accept that I am at fault for it. Which is fine.

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It could be worse. You could have posted about your struggles in the official Autism reddit.

They will mock you for having a meltdown as an adult…

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There’s a reason Reddit has a certain… reputation on the internet :joy:

Thread veeeery lightly if you’re on one of their bigger subreddits

Edit: In all seriousness, its not the best place to vent about personal struggles unless you’re ready for some very blunt answers (plus subreddits can become very echo chamber-y. Dangerous if your opinion is different from the majority there)

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I have just didn’t get as bad as your claiming.
They are there though.

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True, very true.

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I mean, you are stressing about the future too much. That’s true. I’ve seen your posts here and you overthink things a lot. You need to relax and focus on what’s right in front of you first. One thing at a time. If you take on too much at once you won’t ever finish. Just take the next step and worry about what comes after when you get to that point. You can cross those bridges when you get to them.

Because, at the rate you are going now, you are being self destructive. It’s because you have adhd and/or autism that you need to stop overwhelming yourself. It will lead to a meltdown and burnout if you don’t regulate yourself. That’s how neurodivergent disorders work.

I’m not saying this to be mean, it’s just something I learned the hard way about being neurodivergent myself. I crashed myself into the ground hard until I found a way to cope. I know you say medication and/or therapy won’t help, but to me it sounds like you’ve made up your mind about that without being willing to even try. You need something to help you manage your symptoms though, because you’re running in circles trying to take on everything about your project at once instead of doing it in steps that actually lead you to the goal.

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I’m not on Reddit, but I’ve heard it’s pretty awful as far as trolls and general viciousness. ヘ( ´Д`)ノ

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Thank you. It has been really hard to try and stay in the present. It’s a constant struggle. I do push myself to the point I physically feel ill. I also hate how stagnant my life is because of my AuDHD too. I never came to a point when I can be a peace with my mental health, never. I am still learning ways to cope and deal and acceptance, I am nowhere near that point. I worry if I ever will be.

The issue is how to do that either on my own or with professional therapy.

I can go to therapy, I just have absolute hell trying to explain myself and what my mental health is like. I never had ease in communicating, period, which is extremely challenging. The point is trying to state what I have and people dismiss it as something else entirely.

I love to talk about my problems, but I go through hell trying to get someone to understand me and know that what I am going through is an actual struggle.

That is why I get defeated, because I am never able to get anyone to understand what I am dealing with. I get it into my mind that they never will, given the shit I have gone through.

Misdiagnosis, wrong medication, I am so tired of being treated like a joke! It’s hard as fuck to get a proper diagnosis too, I was never lucky, never.

I understand you aren’t being mean, I just struggle being seen and heard all my life.
I have a difficult time with this, even the options for therapy, I am scrapping to find the help I need.

My insurance sucks major ass, so that is really making things harder.

Sorry for bombarding you like that. I’m dealing with a lot, but I appreciate your honesty.
Truly, thanks.

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Yeah. They aren’t nice, yet there are some cool people on that site too.

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Welp, there is something you could be doing while writing your book. All the so-called experts say you should be building your author platform long before you ever release your first book. So that’s something you could do concurrently with your writing to take some small steps toward achieving future success. ٩(˘◡˘)۶

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That is something else too. I am too scared to even do it because I hate showing myself to the world. I lack confidence and the self-esteem I need.

I know I say I fear having Facebook or Instagram become a void to trap me with its many distractions, I believe I am terrified to put myself out there and get sucked into a void.

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Is that going to help though? I think I prefer trad-pub since self-publishing requires money and treating it like a business, along with putting myself out there.

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Another thing is I am still unsure which route to go with for publishing, which also causes me the most stress when I am too early to even think about choosing.

I am very indecisive when I am at the point of whether I should be concerned about that…yet.

@NatilladeCoco @NotARussianBot @Akje @Xelyn_Craft

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Yeah but trad pub isn’t going to be much cheaper, and you don’t get a lot if support from the publisher.

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That is the everlasting issue I am griping with. When I manage to finish Project Succession, and other novels, what is the next step that is going to work for me mentally and financially?

Do I go traditional or with self-publishing?

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The problem is that traditional publishers these days–even the big five–expect authors to do most of their own promotion today. You can pay for promotion, and I suspect most authors do. But your publishing house is probably going to want to know whether you have a TikTok account, Instagram, Twitter, etc. before they offer you a contract. Not that I’m an expert…but this is what I keep hearing. ¯\_(ﭢ)_/¯

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It’s possible to keep your identity a secret. No one has any idea who Elena Ferrante is and she’s traditionally published. Likewise you could generate an AI image to use for publicity purposes if you go the self-publishing route.

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Don’t worry about it until you are ready to actually start the publishing process. Really, worry about getting the book written and complete first. You can decide how to publish when you get to that point. Put it out of your mind completely. All it’s doing is causing you stress about it too early in the process.

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I can say, as a now self-published author, that it does…a little bit. It’s better than nothing. I know some self-published authors who have published and then started building an author platform. I see how distant it feels when going to their pages and stuff. It looks and feels empty and as if they’re calling out to the void.

And also, I want to add, I think “building author platform” looks different for everyone. To some, that’s a lot of marketing to readers and telling them what genres you write and what kinds of stories you write, giving short stories out for free, etc. To others, that’s building friendly connections with readers that like to read the same stuff you like to read.

So, I said that it’s better than nothing and that it does help to have a platform. As for me, I’m consistent (sunset gradient palette, the fox, books), and I have connections especially on Instagram, so I think I have a platform.

As for marketing, if I have to think about what people want, I’m going to stress myself out. So, I decided to take the “self-serving” route. My perspective on marketing is just me sharing the cool things I made. I’ve always found pleasure in sharing the stuff I created whether that’s a book I wrote, a cover I made, or a drawing I did, I want to share the stuff that I’m happy with and I’ll do it in the way that makes me happy.

If other people look at that and feel happy, well, that’s good enough for me. If they take a step further and actually buy something I made, well, that’s a plus.

My first book published in October. For an indie author, that’s too soon to be able to tell if anything is working, so I’m going to continue to tap people on the shoulder to show them the cool stuff I made until someone turns around to listen :wink:

Yes, it does require money and you do have to treat it like a business, but to what extent is all up to the indie author. I’ve decided for my own mental stress sake that I’m only going to do as much that is still fun for me. If I find myself stressing than it’s time to stop and make it fun.

For example, I got tired of saying “here’s the blurb for Between Roses!” so I decided to write a funny blurb, and then a crazy blurb. Idk if any potential readers found those and took interest. But it was fun for me.

I also learned that if you are your own business, it’s important to pace yourself and also it’s important to know that you CAN pace yourself. There’s no outside force (like a publisher) expecting you to market your book (just because you have a publisher, doesn’t mean no marketing).

As a self-published author, you don’t even have to do any marketing if you don’t want to although you might be missing potential readers. You can throw your arms up and say, “I’ve had enough of that for now.” Despite the costs, it was all worth it once I got through a few learning curves. The learning curves were a mental cost I was willing to pay to become a self-published author because I knew once I did it once, it would be that much easier the second time.

I feel like I was a bit all over the place with my thoughts. Any questions?

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