I'm doing better.

I’ve been struggling with depression for the majority of my life—specifically sixteen years—and I feel as though I’ve reached a point where I’m finally doing better.

I don’t go to therapy, I don’t talk to anyone, and I don’t take medication. I am self-diagnosed (and you can argue that I “couldn’t possibly have depression if a doctor didn’t tell me,” but there were multiple points in my life where I wanted to—in TikTok slang—unalive myself… so that’s a clear indication of depression). But medication and therapy is too expensive and, personally, I feel that talking doesn’t really help me and only creates drama, unwanted attention, and problems that I don’t have the mental capacity for. If it helps you, awesome. But not me. So, I keep my emotions bottled inside and use writing, reading, music, and watching shows and movies and YouTube videos as coping mechanisms. They’ve all truly helped me throughout the years.

In recent years, however, I’ll have bad days and good days. And sometimes, I had more good days then bad days. But that didn’t mean that dark cloud didn’t dissipate completely. It’d still find its way back.

Ever since I changed my job, though, I’ve been feeling so much better than I used to. I do get days where I feel like a hurricane hit me and destroyed everything cheerful in my wake, but it actually isn’t as much as it used to be. While things can sometimes get chaotic and stressful, and I can feel overwhelmed, I’m able to take a deep breath and know that tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start. And for some reason, it’s helped me get through those tough days. Honestly, it’s new territory for me because I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t remember what it used to feel like.

I feel like I’m finally knowing what it’s like to be truly happy. There’s still things to work on, of course, and depression has no cure. But I’ve been trying my best to work on my mental health and I think this is a wonderful breakthrough.

It’s also kind of ironic that I created a “mental health day” display for work. :sweat_smile: I’ll show pictures

With that said, I wanted to see how you all are. How is your mental health?


I never really saw the point in arguing with what’s real or not. People who aren’t clinically or chronically depressed will still go through low seasons, even sometimes through a chemical imbalance, without ever needing the label: but the still are.clearly depressed.

I mean, I’ve had 2 miscarriages. It took me damn near half a year to start joking about anything, the first time. It’s a traumatic experience both in terms of medical emergency and losing someone that comes with am abrupt hormone shift that can take months to straighten out. I was warned by my OB that it was coming, I handled it without medication because I am stubborn, and eventually it changed. That was never a point where I wanted to end it–that crossed my mind when I was a kid and didn’t know what it was even.

Any which way, season of life or for life, were all going to experience moments that will push us to the edge of who we are. People need to know that it is “normal” (for the value of that word) to have lows that can break you, and that seeking improvement is natural.

Right now? Head cold, some I’m a cranky toddler. Just starting to get back to dietary changes after my mother’s death so the ennui is fading. Fall weather is coming so I want to work, son is nearly 2 and doesn’t need me to be focused on him as much. So, I’m in a good place for this to shift away from having time for writing so I can live my life.

My husband otoh, is done with his job, done with house work that never ends, done with nothing ever improving, so he’s a bit depressed and has been since last year’s storm.


So glad that things are working out for you. Yeah, you will always have those shitty days, but they are just that “A shitty day”, and the next can, and will be better.
There will always be things to work on, but it’s how you look to them, and the approach that you take. Stay positive, even on a shitty day there cane be something to take away from it as “Not so bad.”

I wish you all the best!



Seems that you found your own cooing mechanisms

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