Long time friendships (ten years or more): what are they like for you?

I want to know if any of you have friendships that have lasted for over ten years.

Here are some questions for you. You don’t have to answer all of them if you’re not comfortable :blush:

  • How long have you known this person?

  • Are you both the same age or different ages?

  • Do you call each other on the phone a lot? Text a lot? See each other in person or online a lot?

  • If you often see each other face-to-face, what do you talk about with them?

  • Do you have inside jokes with this person that no one else will get?

  • What are they to you? (the sibling-like friend you sometimes bicker with, the motherly friend, the sarcastic friend, the serious friend, the reasonable friend, etc.)

  • What do you think you are to them?

  • What does this friendship mean to you? Is there anything it taught you?

  • What if by some strange fantasy world event, you and your friend ended up in opposing groups by chance. Do you think you could fight your friend?

  • Why do you think the friendship has lasted for so long?


Me and my bff haven’t reached 10 years of friendship but we will in about two years now.

Since 2015.

She’s one year and 5 months younger than me. I didn’t go to school for a year when I was a kid so I was always about a year older than my classmates when I went back. We met when we were Sophomores in high school.

Oh gosh yes. When school isn’t taking over our lives, sometimes we spend like 7 hours on the phone talking and a few more hours texting. Also on FaceTime, too.

Hmmm nothing that I can think of right now!

Definitely sibling like. I feel like we’re soulmates tho because we noticed freaky things when we talk. She sent a video to another friend one day, I sent the same video to her the next day without knowing. Sometimes I text her first during the day and she freaks out because the thing I text her about was on her mind at that same moment. Same thing happens to me when she texts me.

Also sisterly but I can be motherly at times. She says I’m the mom out of all of her other friends.

God, it means so SO much to me. I love that girl so much and I’m so glad I became friends with her. I think it taught me that I shouldn’t take any of my other friends for granted because they can be in my life for longer than I could think of.

…Shi*t. I don’t think I can. I don’t want to hurt her at all haha. I feel like I’ll even betray my group or she might even betray hers.

I think it’s because we always stay in contact. There are days when we don’t feel like talking because of our social batteries running low, but we still send messages to each other to keep each other updated on our lives, and when we’re ready to talk, we talk about those texts. So what I mean is, if she hasn’t talked to me in a few days, I still send her updates during those days.

I feel like our friendship is very strong because we still talk even though we’re miles apart now. I swear I’m gonna make that girl my maid of honor when I get married tho haha.


What a lovely friendship :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Made me smile reading about it. Thanks for sharing!

Awwww :pleading_face: So, if you’re coming up on ten years, do you think you’d do anything to celebrate your ten-year anniversary? :blush:

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Gods theyre gonna kill me if they ever see this :rofl:

16 years

Same age

Not anymore, sadly. It would be nice if we still did, but thats life for you

Havent seen face-to-face since pre-covid

We have a few :joy:

Definitely sibling to the point that if we stand next to each other, people assume we’re related. Or dating, for some reason. Never did figure out why people thought that :thinking: Our parents even go along with the “oh yeah theyre totally related” thing no questions asked. Hell, even my grandparents go along with it :joy:

Pain in the arse, nerdy, totally insane, highly sarcastic and socially-oblivious older sister/friend who OH MY GOD DIAL DOWN THE WEIRDNESS FOR FIVE MINUTES I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE RELATED (but with more swearing from them :tipping_hand_woman:)

It means a lot more to me than I’d ever admit to them. Got me through some very rough patches of my life and i do miss them very much. I also worry a lot but, hey, thats what happens when you love someone

And, yes, it taught me that not all arseholes are bad people. Some of them are just lovable idiots :joy:

We already are in opposite groups :joy: We are literally the exact opposite of each other. But, no, I couldnt fight them. Not with fists, anyway. And hes too much of a gentleman to hurt a girl (yeah, thats right, i said it). We’d probably start throwing insults at each other and most people who knew us would go “oh my god not again”. There is a line i hope neither of us would cross tho ;-;

We’ve both been trying to figure that out for the last 16 years :joy:

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Man i hate the autocorrect on this phone. Think i got all the typos

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Oh gosh we really have to talk about that! I hope we can go travel somewhere. I know really wants to get out of the States for vacation haha.

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Any high hool or college age friend has beem 20-25 years.

Not the same age, but in the same ramge. None of them are 10 uears younger, and some are a couple ywars older.

I dont see antone but the roomate often.

The one f2f? We talk aboit whatever she’s forgotten shes told me already.

Huaband? Everything. A lot of it is grumpy affirmations.

Yes. Sometimes I wish I didnt get them because they MST3K my entire life.

, most of them I see so rarely that they spnt have a dynamic in my life. A couple of them are sisters and then there’s rhe husband.

Wisdom and Sarcasm. Motivation and Instigation (spouse calls me this pair).

Obligations. That I have someone to lean on as people die.

Husband? No.
Roommate? Dont know.
More distant ones? Yes.

Im not in tbe habit of getting rid of people. I also dont chase after them much.

Much like sin above, we haven’t reached the 10-year mark yet, but will in 2 years!

About 8 years, since summer 2015

He’s a year younger than me, we met via summer camp where lots of kids from different ages interacted.

There was a period where we didn’t talk to each other much, but after covid started we’ve been in contact more often ^.^

We usually text, sometimes facetime calls, sometimes just share Instagram reels and memes :joy:

We see each other about… 1 to 2 times a month recently? We live near each other, but its not often our schedules will line up (mostly with my classes) to be able to hang out in person. We just talk about what’s been going on in our lives and whatever random topic comes up (anime, tech-stuff, science topics, etc.)

He’s like a little brother to me, though as teens some people would ask if we were a couple or dating (as people tend to assume when seeing a boy and girl together who don’t look related).

Probably a great friend that he once crushed on, back in 2015-2016
I think he views me as a close friend now, given how long we’ve known each other

It means a lot to me, knowing that of all the friends I’ve had over time he’s one that I’ve always been able to turn to without hesitation. With most we usually drift apart and talking to them after so long feels awkward to me, but its never been that way with him. He’s a lot more reliable than he probably thinks, and I’m really thankful for our friendship.

Given his technological knowledge and weight-lifting hobby, he’d be a terrifying opponent if he wanted to fight :joy: Dude’s easily double or triple my weight!

I don’t think I’d have a chance if we fought seriously, unless I tried attacking from a distance or used my smaller height/weight to my advantage. From an emotional view, it’d be difficult to attack him, I don’t wanna hurt him. He’s a big softie, so we’d end up either betraying each other’s groups or ditching the battle altogether.

Probably because we’ve kept contact even if several months pass by. It helps that it doesn’t feel awkward to text/call each other on a whim, giving each other life updates n stuff. Also helps that I don’t feel pressured to constantly check if he’s texted and respond quickly. I like people who are ok with me being a slow responder (unless its urgent ofc), sometimes my social battery needs alone time to recharge.

I’ve got 3 solid long-term friends.

I’ve known R since nursery. I think it’s been over 20 years of friendship now. She‘s one of those people who come and go in my life at different stages. Nursery, primary, school-leaving, we were coworkers at one point.

I’ve known M for 16ish years. Met her in school. She’s my closest confidant. And there’s S who’s my other confidant. I’ve known her for 10 years. They all know each other. S&M are close friends themselves (no pun intended), and R is a good friend of theirs too.

We’re all the same age.

We’ll text and call occasionally. Not too often. We used to call almost daily during lockdown but now life’s in the way I suppose. Haven’t met up in person because we’re all in different parts of the world lol. I think the last time we got together was five years ago. And I missed R’s wedding last year which was a bummer.

Well it’s be a catch-up of the past few weeks and what we’re up to. Relationships. And then reminisce about the past, humiliate each other by bringing up silly things we did when we were younger, and throwing shade at people we dislike.

Uhh I don’t categorise them. They’re just friends. Friends are friends.

A good friend hopefully.

I feel loved. It’s life-affirming. We’ve all had our fair share of mental breakdowns, and we’re always there. I had a severe breakdown two years ago and they were there for me through the worst of it. Also we’ve learnt to let the small things go. Petty drama doesn’t matter.

Lol I’ll fight if I was forced to. I’m sure they’ll understand. They’ll fight too and probably beat me.

I think it comes from a deep understanding & appreciations of each other.

Personally, I’ve never had friendships that lasted long. My longest was roughly five or seven years, but it was a toxic off and on friendship. The song Fantasy by Lauren Spencer Smith does a great job of depicting what it was like.

But my siblings have had friendships that lasted really long. My oldest sister, for example, has a friend she’s had for over fifteen years. They met in like fifth grade (roughly around 10-11 years old) and my sister is now 31.

They’re about a year or two apart.

When my sister was a teenager, they used to send letters all the time. Before she purged some of her old things, she had a giant stack of letters she’d kept over the years. When she was about 19-20, she moved in with her friend’s family and had lived there for five years, even after her friend moved away for college. But she considered them family. When she was about 24-25, she moved back in with us while her friend was still in college. Around that time, their friendship became more like calling and Facetiming whenever they could. The friend’s family is extremely religious, and the college she went to was a bible college, so they had very strict rules on phones and technology. But eventually, she became very busy so they went from calling/texting every other day or once a week to calling once or twice a month, and their texts are off and on throughout the month.

As for in-person visits, it’s not often. It’s been a few years since they’ve seen each other in person, mostly because we live on the opposite sides of the country.

They talk about a lot of different things. Some of the highlights would be new things they’ve been up to, boys, drama, and things about her family. My sister (sort of) dated her friend’s brother (they weren’t exclusive, mostly because of his parents being crazy and whatnot), but things ended badly since he was toxic (well, they both were) and the whole family found out and it blew up in their faces. The gist is pretty much like: he was talking to another girl and kept lying to my sister (like, he’ll say he’s going to bed, but he actually stayed up talking to another girl he worked with) and he always said he never had feelings for her, and my sister’s toxic trait was hacking into his socials and finding out that way and basically telling this other girl he was taken, and then he got upset and played the victim, etc. and now, even though my sister is dating someone new, she still asks questions about him and what he’s up to since right after they “broke up,” he got into a relationship with that girl and how their relationship is very different (they’re exclusive, he’s more caring about her, he’s constantly talking to her which he never did with my sister). Personally, I never liked him because I knew he wasn’t good enough for my sister.

She was really close to their family, so she considered them her sister, her second family. There was a point where I considered that, too, but not anymore.

  • How long have you known this person?

I met this friend right after the internet became a thing in 2002

  • Are you both the same age or different ages?

I am ten years older than she is.

  • Do you call each other on the phone a lot? Text a lot? See each other in person or online a lot?

We use discord multiple times a week to chat.

  • Do you have inside jokes with this person that no one else will get?

Plenty, but none that I can recall at this time.

  • What are they to you?

They are a close friend, a shoulder to lean on, a writing buddy, a cheerleader and more

  • What do you think you are to them?

I think it would be similar

  • What does this friendship mean to you? Is there anything it taught you?

She is someone that I long to connect with because she and I share the same passions. I get anxious if she is too long away from spaces we connect in.

  • What if by some strange fantasy world event, you and your friend ended up in opposing groups by chance. Do you think you could fight your friend?

Nope not even maybe.

  • Why do you think the friendship has lasted for so long?

I think our relationship has lasted this long because we share a very strong common interest, show compassion for each other’s situations, love each other’s works. We are good listeners and do our utmost to support each other even if we are not meeting our own personal goals. Even our first time meeting in person ended up being one of my most cherished memories.