I’m writing a character that is gender non conforming (and has been for years) but doesn’t mind what pronouns people use to refer to them (he/she/they) and occasionally gets gendered names by family/friends (they don’t mind that either). In work, they are seen as more masculine and at home, they still get feminine diminutives from parents at times.
Would it be fair to refer to said character with ‘they/them’ pronouns for consistency in the plot? (Apologies if this is a strange question, and I have written a gender non conforming character before but they solely used ‘they/them’ pronouns in the story, so I kept their pronouns as such).
And said character has had the same name throughout their life and are happy to use it, but a shortened more neutral nickname version of it. I hope I’m making sense and this question doesn’t seem stupid/offensive to anyone but I’m not 100% sure about pronouns with this character.
I think using consistent pronouns as the narrator would make it easier for readers to know who is being spoken about, but when other characters refer to them, it would be okay to use the variations, if that makes sense.
Hello it is I, the Pronoun President. I hereby authorise the use of they/them pronouns in the narrative for consistency, and the use of she/he/they pronouns for use by other characters to refer to this individual.
Hiiiii your resident genderfluid and gende-confused angel, at your service
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What you’re asking is hilarious because that’s literally the strategy I use irl. I change pronouns several times a day and sometimes even I don’t fucking know what I want to be called lmao.
So I just use they/them for everyone’s sake to keep things simple. It’s gender neutral so it doesn’t give me dysphoria but also lets people refer to me without short-circuiting.
As for the any/all factor, just weaponize the nicknames. If they like being called a handsome princess, use it. Make them ridiculously happy with it.
Also you might want to research what deadnames are and what they mean to the trans community. I’ll put a short summary down here, but it’s not something I can really explain by myself.
Essentially, a deadname is your old name before you came out/transitioned. Sometimes ppl find that it’s really painful to be called by, but others don’t rly care. Using it in public is essentially like exposing yourself/someone else (as in, it’s not kind to you, or kind to others ) and it’s kind of like yelling at someone across the street that you know they cheated on their partner.
