I did a story where I addressed the audience like this, so I’ll try to dip into the pool of knowledge I gathered why doing this. I think you have a good start, and reason out the character’s reasons for addressing the audience well, but there’s some things that need a little polishing (it is a rough draft, so I get that).
The first paragraph is very long, and I feel could be split to make a more concise flow of storytelling.
My advice
So, a main character addressing the audience is somewhat hard to pull off. Mostly because the main character has full control and awareness of the narration.
One thing I’ve learned from studying this, and reading different books in this format, is that whoever the narrator is addressing is overall important to the narrator on some scale or level. If the character doesn’t know why they’ve chosen the reader as the recipient of their story, then there’s no real appeal nor realistic quality to the storytelling, if that makes sense.
In Perks of Being a Wallflower, where Charlie writes letters to a “Friend”. Although we, the readers, are the recipients for his letters–the person Charlie is writing to an unnamed person he views as kind, someone he thinks will understand his struggles and not judge him. Essentially, he’s looking for a friend. Now, this is important when considering the tone for the rest of the story, as, through each letter, Charlie talks to you and speaks to you in the way a friend would. Recalling details, making jokes, listing out his favorite things, wondering about the person he’s writing to. It becomes clear, especially later on, how much writing these letters mean to Charlie.
In “Between the World and me” the author is a father who grew up black in America and the challenges and struggles he faced when concerning racial discrimination, cultural pressure, and various other issues. The father writing the letters (or essays) are all addressed to his son. When considering this, the tone of the letters can be seen differently. It’s not a friend writing to a friend, but a father to a child, so a lot of what he’s saying has to be viewed through that lens to fully understand the weight of what he’s saying but also the context in which he’s saying it.
These are just two examples, but it’s important to consider who your audience is, how your character views that audience, and what kind of relationship/tone you’re aiming for between the reader and the main character. “Because it’s anonymous”, has appeal, but it’s not enough to explain why they didn’t just write it in some private online journal to lock away and keep private.
In making it so your main character is hostile towards the audience, you’re effectively setting up a hostile relationship with YOUR audience, which won’t entice people to read. It doesn’t make your character sound sympathetic, but more angst ridden and ‘against the man’. These aren’t bad traits but making them the highlight of your character in the first paragraph makes it a little non-personable. Which is what you don’t want, especially if you’re characters’ going to be telling a personal story they (assumedly) can’t share with anyone else. Setting up some kind of personable connection with the reader is pretty important. It’s like considering your readers a character, almost.
TL;DR: Try to view your readers as a character in your story. If you built up a more personable connection to the audience from the main character, I feel the appeal of reading it, and rooting for the main character would significantly improve the story overall.
But I spooked myself with it.
What if we all are? And you can’t escape memories.
Bad memories linked to flaws was just supposed to be part of the world building, but ended up getting kind of philosophical and quite real XD
But saying it’s small makes it hard to see what you’re seeing. I was imagining a vast open space, not a small area. And the world being small sounds like it doesn’t match. Maybe the since it is Elya’s POV, she’s been in ballroom? Do they have those in palaces? Could she equate the world to a padded ballroom where snow flurries dance?
And sure, go right ahead 
