Ooooh, thought provoking. I like it 
Tell me more about those angels as much as you can. I’m curious. And do you have demons?
My Michael certainly believes in demons after spending a week or so with three and striking up a friendship 
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Well technically she’s not actually an angel, but her name is Angel and her voice is angelic 
It’s a short romance about a guy who had to sit in a different part of the church one day, and during the Mass, he heard a girl singing beautifully near him (there are times during Mass in which people sing). He doesn’t get to know her shortly after, so a chunk of the story will be spent him going to church every week hoping to sit next to her again so he can hear her voice and hopefully strike conversation, but she’s either not there or he’s too shy and doesn’t want to come off as a creep lol.
Well as a Catholic I do believe in angels and demons, so in that world it’s the same admittedly I don’t know enough about them
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Gotcha. I will keep in mind your thoughts as I continue working on the story.
Cheers, lowarlo! 
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Oooooh, okay, I see XD
My favorite times 
I love church songs. So uplifting.
Aw, that sounds sweet 
Come on, Michael! You can do it!
My Michael fails to save a girl from bullies and gets beaten up until she saves him. Shree has learned the art of combat to defend herself. The kind of sad thing is that she’s not interested in him though he tries to get her attention. Shree’s more interested in the charming street vendor that gave her and her aunt a tour. Mind you, both Shree and Michael are fifteen. The street vendor is nineteen. I think he’s a little too old for her…
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That does make a lot of sense. I see how it ends at that line, and why most people wouldn’t read on past that. I’m going to have to work on that beginning some more later, and I think your idea could work, I’ll just have to phrase it a little differently…
Yes, this part is something really important, but I want to just sprinkle this in little by little because Sara usually avoids thinking about said past life due to the trauma associated with its’ end. She also has panic attacks and flashbacks later, though, so I’ll have to see whether that could work…
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Thought provoking is actually a tag I have on my story… 
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Hmm 
I have a character that doesn’t like revisiting pasts either, but since it is third person POV like yours’, I’ve been talking about some of the reasons of the way she acts even though it’s not something she would necessarily think about. But I try not to do it too heavily because then it’s telling.
You might be able to hint at it a little more in that first paragraph if it is that important because that’s what would grab the reader in the beginning.
I’m working on a similar thing too, so I don’t know what will work best to be honest. Just some thoughts I’ve had from my own writing 
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Aha XD Good then!
Ah that does make a lot of sense. I might try expanding upon that and see how it fits with the rest of the story when editing, because it could work. I’m just wondering if it will make things too obvious.
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Give it a try. Feel free to come back with it. I’d be happy to take a look and figure out a way with you, if you’d like
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The reformatted first chapter of my current work…
Goddess v2.0
‘Once again, Ben-Gurion was right,’ an aged doctor in a white medical gown whispered as he closed a patient’s file fixed to the clipboard in his hand. The doctor’s grey eyes drifted to the steel operating bed by his side, positioned in the centre of an almost empty surgical theatre. A young girl with dark hair and unblemished olive skin lay unconscious on the bed with a loose sheet drawn up to her bare shoulders, anchored by her toned arms. A small monitor mounted beside the girl’s head displayed graphs of her slow heartbeat and gentle breathing. The doctor placed his fingers on the girl’s left wrist and smiled. ‘Welcome to the world, little miracle. Doubtless you are conquering the last of our anaesthesia, but you must stay asleep for a while longer. Otherwise my plan is ruined.’
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Well, you’ve captured my attention 
I want to know more about what’s going on.
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Slight spoiler…
The young girl is a prototype hybrid clone, created by the doctor. The girl is given the name Freyja, a reference to the Norse goddess and the Jewish Shabbat (and the story’s title), by the doctor’s old friend / former patient, Dov, who is asked to nurture and mentor the girl. The first chapter ends when Freyja begins to wake-up (for the first time).
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It was supposed to be simple. Get the necessary work experience to help complete that part of the criteria for this archaeology degree (masters this time), but nooooooo. Naturally, things didn’t go to plan. Because why would they? Why on Earth would things go to plan just once in my damn life? Why wouldn’t there be ancient Egyptian curses, tomb raiders, magical artefacts, and a ghost trying not very hard to stop us getting trapped in her tomb? Because OBVIOUSLY that ALWAYS happens when someone goes to Egypt!
[I’m being told to stop ranting and get on with the story because you’re probably confused at this point.]
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Obviously My demon character that arrives in Egypt will definitely agree to that.
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My character is just over it by this point
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The place was bustling with energy, but in a muted way, like a constant headache that pounds in the background of of one’s thoughts. A lot like the low grade migraine Caz had been dealing with for last half an hour.
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A warm breeze swayed the far-reaching oak branches in the Skaerso Forest outside our cottage.
(
yes its simple but i love it.)
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I like breezes that sway things.
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