Good dialogue can really make or break a story, but how does a writer get through the ins and outs of good dialogue writing?
Three years ago I posted “Some Deets on Dialogue” here on the forum, but I think that it’s been archived or buried, so I thought I would consolidate the ideas talked about in a new thread.
As before, I am not an expert, but between experience, research, and teaching, I’ve gotten a decent handle on dialogue and attribution and want to pass it on so others don’t have nearly the same steep learning curve I did coming up as an author.
Hopefully writers here can find some useful information on how to approach dialogue in their stories.
Certain situations/regions may have nuances not addressed in this resource
The Basic Mechanics of Dialogue Writing:
Dialogue writing in itself is a tricky proposition with many (sometimes seemingly conflicting) rules.
Below are examples and explanations on why punctuation is used the way it is for each example.
Let’s start with a very basic sentence:
“Jacob!”
Easy enough. A single word and the exclamation inside of quotes, no attribution. Use this device sparingly, and avoid trying to use it for more than two speakers as it can cause confusion. If dialogue is broken up by action or other expositions and the same speaker picks back up, attribution should be included to ensure the reader knows exactly who is speaking.
Let’s say an attribution gets added, what then?
Wait… What is an Attribution?
An attribution is simply some form of “he/she/they said.”
It conveys the emotion behind the words being written so a reader knows how the character is feeling in that moment of the story.
An attribution can stand alone, be combined with exposition, or in some cases completely omitted.
For Example:
“Jacob,” she said.
Has a different emotion than:
“Jacob!” a voice barked.
And is again different from:
“Jacob?” she questioned.
Periods, Question Marks, and Exclamation Points
Once an attribution is added there are certain rules that it follows.
“Jacob,” she said.
Normally a period would be placed after Jacob (if no attribution was used), however when the attribution is added, the period becomes a comma, because the sentence “Jacob” now includes the phrase, “she said.” The attribution should start with a lower case letter.
If the attribution comes at the beginning the comma should be after the end of the attribution, like so:
She said, “Jacob.”
In these cases:
“Jacob!” a voice barked.
“Jacob?” she questioned.
Notice that the start of the attribution in each of the above examples is lower case. This follows the same rule as with the period, in that the attribution phrase becomes part of the full sentence.
Again:
A voice barked, “Jacob!”
She questioned, “Jacob?”
Would change the way the full dialogue is punctuated.
A step further:
“Jacob!” a voice barked. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
After the attribution “a voice barked.” There is a period before the new piece of dialogue begins because it is its own full sentence.
If I take the same sentence and lower the energy of it:
“Jacob,” a voice called. “What the do you think you’re doing?”
You’ll note that there where the period is is now a comma. You’ll also note the comma (and the exclamation point above) are inside the quotation marks This is a matter of region, and may not always follow this rule: Again because the dialogue is part of the first sentence, it becomes a dependent clause and needs to have a comma.
Let’s Get Complex
So just like there are simple, compound, and complex sentences there are also the same categories of dialogue. Below are some ways to incorporate more complex text structure
So I’m going to start with a very basic dialogue sentence with an action rather than attribution:
“Marion, if you would be so kind as to give me that IV bottle?” Tom straightened trying once again to get the kink out of his back.
Rearranging these two sentences can make a more complex dialogue. Below are several examples of how to restructure the sentences.
First example:
“Marion,” Tom straightened trying once again to get the kink out of his back, “if you would be so kind as to give me that IV bottle?”
This particular version puts the second sentence between the complex sentence to break up the dialogue and give a nice implied pause. Please note that the comma after “Marion” is pretty much the same as a simple or compound dialogue piece. What’s different is that, because the action is interjected between the dialogue, a comma is placed following “back.” Despite looking odd, this placement is actually correct. This tells a reader that the action of him straightening is happening pretty much at the same time as he’s talking to Marion.
The other way to write this:
“Marion?” Tom straightened trying once again to get the kink out of his back. “If you would be so kind as to give me that IV bottle?”
This version makes it three full sentences with the action once again implying it is happening at the same time as the words.
Period or Comma?
I’ve understood this for a long time, but until recently had no good way to explain it to others. Let me know if the sufficiently conveys my understanding.
Commas are used when what follows (or goes before) what’s being said DESCRIBES THE WAY THEY ARE SAYING SOMETHING.
EXAMPLE:
Angry for the subterfuge, she huffed, “Stop playing games and tell me what I want to know!”
Huffed implies frustration coming out in the words and therefore a comma should be used!
Periods are used if ACTION OR CHARACTER/SETTING DESCRIPTION are being used between dialogue, or if the attribution comes before another full piece of dialogue.
EXAMPLE:
He threw up his hands as if that would ward off the charging horse. The rider pulled up just shy of running him over, and he glared through the thinning dust. “Hey moron! Watch where you’re riding!”
Other Helpful Tips
Natural Sounding Dialogue
Dialogue should sound natural and flow well as it disseminates information about plot or character progression (or both).
One way that a writer can ensure their dialogue sounds natural is to read it aloud (use voices if needed 
) and ask yourself: “Does this sound like something a person would naturally say?”, or “Is this the way people speak in conversations?”
Even observing people speaking or focusing on how things are said in day to day conversations can help a writer create realistic, believable speech patterns.
Avoid Walls of Dialogue
The overuse of dialogue can slow down what’s happening in the story, as well as make a story feel as if it stalls out. There are times when all authors have a long conversation happening, however, like a wall of exposition, it can drag the story down and bore the reader. To prevent this use a variety of attributions, descriptions, and actions. Using a variety of approaches can convey setting, character description or motivation, or even what action is taking place before, during, and after the speakers talk.
For Example:
“Jacob!” someone shouted.
His body jerked upright and twisted all in one graceful motion, belying his job for all too see.
“Lee,” he breathed, shaking his head.
“Tell me you’re not contemplating suicide off the side of this tub," she growled. She shrugged after a moment, adding, “Not that I could blame a guy after the past ten months!”
“No, not even, just watching the waves.”
She shook her head, making dark bangs swing stiffly in front of her swarthy face. A snort worked out of her slightly flattened nose at the same time. “You were like halfway over the gunwale. Thought I was going to have to pull you back by the waistband or something.”
Note that attributions sometimes stand alone, are sometimes combined with action or description, while some lines are void of any attributions at all. This variety helps break up the dialogue and keeps the plot moving forward.
Alright, I have pulled all the pertinent bits from the previous iteration of this thread, and added a few things I forgot last go round.
If you have questions or need clarification please don’t hesitate to ask!
Happy Writing!