I wrote
feekubug
because I was typing “feeling” too fast.
Writer brain: It could be a thing. A creature 
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Looking at an Elgana story I wrote quite a while back and found this section of Kaiver, a Human-Sorcerer hybrid, trying to push his problematic way of thinking onto others:
“No, I was only asking. And it’s a fact. Just like I have a pencil-thin mustache. You can say that. I won’t be offended. Why are you all so easily offended?”
Facts were facts. Feelings were feelings. They didn’t get tangled up with each other. How could he make them understand? Kaiver thought for a moment.
“Tell me,” he said, “tell me I’m a barefoot urchin. And I am. Fact. I have no parents. I live out on the streets and in the desert. But call me a child of sin. Not fact. I’ll beat the viffi out of you physically or verbally because I’d be offended. That’s the difference.”
“Think before you speak. That’s all we—”
“I always do,” Kaiver argued.
Kaiver lives by Kaiver rules, and this doesn’t change even by the end of the story. All my Elgana MCs are so stubborn. Kaiver, Sovanna, Pinti, Scotch, Cypur…they’re all stubborn in some level.
Why do they have to be so stubborn? 
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It’s rebellion against your natural inclination to conform to all the hoops we now jump through, to please people?
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I have that motivation again to get all my poetry organized so that I can self-publish a chapbook. Boy, have I been here before. Let’s see how long this lasts before I give up again and achieve nothing but wasted time and renewed regret. 
I’ve asked Chat GPT to help give me a “6 month” plan. Hah. Hahahahahahaha…
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I haven’t been writing or just working on my story, due to distractions and my mental health interfering with ability to show the motivation to do anything.
God, I just want to focus to write and do something productive.
It’s just hard to get there and I know I’ll get there at some random moment in my time.
Ugh! Much frustration!
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Take a step back…now, let me say, you’re doing great 
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Thanks, Ena, you are too sweet and wonderful of an online friend!
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How much do you have? I’ve got so little that even trying to “organize” would lead to me writing a good 60 pieces before it’s “good enough” to volumize.
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Dragonball Fans seeing the general wankery in the Avatar fandom about war criminals being irredeemable:
I decided that my shadow beast race Ilvagi want to feed their shadow beast babies, so they are going to put all the Kattluanae in a new area they call “the pen” which is made of the same poisonous barrier stuff that currently surround them. Anyone who defies them or tries to rebel or does any criminal acts and is found out, will be fed to the beast babies. Also to prevent Kattalunae from dying off from sickness or whatever, the sick and wounded will also be fed to the beast babies. And probably the Elderly, too, if they don’t watch their mouths.
I had this idea of putting the Kattaluna race in a new place because I was thinking about how Ilvagis would make Kattaluna fear their lives. There’s nothing more uncertain and fearful than being uprooted from your home and put in the same space as your enemies. Then I thought about why putting Kattalunae in one place would be beneficial to Ilvagis.
Ilvagis can strengthen their bodies if they eat other magical creatures. So, they can eat Kattalunae. Their king wants a new, fresh army, so he puts all the Kattalunae in one place to “farm” them (will they be forced to mate? idk) and then those who are used as “feed” are those that commit crimes in the eyes of the Ilvagis.
I think they want to continue this until they have enough strong Ilvagi babies. But before they do, Pinti’s like “I’ve had enough of this life” and uses her developing lunar magick to destroy both barriers, taking beast babies, too. This angers the Ilvagis, and almost everyone is captured in a smaller cage. Some have managed to escape through the portal.
Then Pinti says “let them go” and keep me. Take my magick. They say “no”. Later return with message from the king. Release Pinti. They say they will release everyone if she returns with the moonstone (they know it has been calling to her which is why her magick is developing). They give her two weeks. If she does not return by the sunset of the last day, everyone will be killed.
I think this makes sense. But is two weeks too generous?
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A few ways to handle it and “keep your nose clean”:
- Imply it but have the older ones refuse to elaborate to their children.
- Have it under threat: you may choose your mates as long as x number of children happen. If you don’t, then you get no more choices. This means more than 2 children: you have to accommodate the death rate these creatures place on them. This means the normal 2.5 kids to barely replace the natural deaths PLUS the percentage of the population they want to eat a year.
- A bit more ick: if, by x number of years, a female has not reproduced, they will check her over for fertility and make decisions on her life by that time. Always have a talk about reducing males like they do for cattle.
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Even though I am not writing at the moment, I’m still thinking deeply enough about my two projects off and on.
I have only two projects. Project MH and Project RG are my main focus and I want to be my only focus.
Due to my constant distractions and trying to get through my daily days of life, my thoughts for Project MH are growing, yet I am not writing things down. However, Project RG will need to be played with greatly.
I have a slight idea, I think.
So, my two main characters are Anjan Terris from Project MH and Kardinal Lionheart from Project RG. Just to announce Anjan and Kardinal are both males. So, I am focusing on two male protagonists who are significantly different in many ways.
Anjan is an anti-hero on a journey to be a villain.
Kardinal is Stepford smiler hero on a journey to anti-villainy.
That’s all I got. I got to fully understand both Anjan and Kardinal as males and as the main characters of the story. So, nothing else to say on that.
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Since the POV is a clan leader, Pinti, she might be forced to look at the mating issue head on whether she wants to or not. Not enough time will pass for anything to really take root, but it can still be discussed, I suppose.
This is the best option for the story (whether I show it in the actual story or not is another thing). Many already have partners, but no children. They could definitely be pushed to have children and Pinti could be forced to tell them they have to have children even though she herself doesn’t have a partner yet. Conflicts and tensions. Ooo.
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I decided to actually try and get some writing done so I can at least pretend I’ll have the novel finished by the end of the year. My serious battle scene is turning out to be a lot less serious because my characters don’t seem to understand the concept halp
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Depends on which theme I’m going for. For “grief/mom” related poems, around 25. A third of them are very short, like 4 to 5 sentences, but the rest are long. As for how many poems I have in general, definitely enough to create a whole book but the themes/styles are all over the place since they’re poems over the years. That’s why I figured focused chapbooks were better. A grief one. An eventual NY/Hispanic one. A dark fantasy one. And so on.
I’ve managed to get them into one document. Haven’t properly formatted/edited them yet. 
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I am 100% self publishing because I really can’t be bothered with the drama that traditional publishing brings, and all the crap on social media. I refuse to be dragged into other peoples’ drama. I don’t want to bear the brunt of other peoples’ crap.
Will I help and support my fellow authors? Of course. But do I want to be dragged into a random Slack channel full of drama? No. Do I want to be on Twitter all day? No. Do I want to focus on the craft of writing? Of course.
I could care less about Goodreads. I’d rather have a bunch of loyal readers than some random TikTok crusade. I’m sure a lot of other people would too. Is the money of Trad Pub nicer? Yes, usually. But do I want the baggage that comes with those contracts, and the companies? No.
I’m in it for the craft, not the clout. If you’re wondering why I am saying this, it’s because there is always something going on in the Booktubesphere with “drama” or “tea”. And a lot of lying, backstabbing snakes toward fellow authors. It’s all too much.
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How come nobody has pointed out the fact that Frieza is queer-coded villain outside of a joke?
Because outside actively partnering, unloved villains interests don’t matter.
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You just roasted him as mercilessly as Cell did in Dragonball fighters.
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His active interest beyond fighting is really ace.
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