Oh god… I’m so sorry for you. That genuinely SUCKS.
Well, you’re always welcome to turn into a unicorn and magically telepath them to be better human beings 
worked for me.
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Writing is at a standstill because I just haven’t been writing anything.
I did print out draft five of Project Succession.
I am so anxious to start draft 6 now, since I now know what draft 6 should be about.
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ON THE BRIGHT SIDE-
I figured out the best way to write my first drafts… and it’s on paper. 
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Another thing is, he doesn’t see them as victims because
- Maybe he thinks they’re not worth his time
- He wants to get rid of the gray clouds and deformed oozing, melting faces that he sees, and those often end up being rich, greedy people
- Possibly…demons need greedy souls to fill full, so potentially, his demon is making him see certain people this way, so that the demon gets fed properly
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Sometimes I overthink and try to write good.
But when I write Richard’s story, I don’t overthink. I just write freely, and the best, most unhinged, wonderful and disturbing things appear. And then it’s so dark and dark humorous and just… And it’s simply awesome and I have the best time with it
And I do my best writing when I don’t overthink
Always learn the lesson to not overthink when I have these good sessions. Do I stop overthinking? No 
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SAME AHHHHH
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Write 2k for Chicos over the weekend
That is my main writing goal. I will also do timed sprints to help if I need to!
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Honestly, based on his feedback on your story from the last thread about him, he seems obsessed with romance. Like everything MUST be romance! And that’s okay. If that’s a writer’s thing, then you do you. I LOVE romance! But to expect that other people stories must all follow the same rule? We have genres for a reason. 
I vaguely remember you mentioning he was older? He sounds obnoxious. The way he behaves. Asks for feedback, but then can’t actually take constructive criticism. Accuses you of hating his story or feeling a certain way because of race. Yeah, no. I’d find a way to slowly distance myself. Nope!
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Almost lost my job barely 2 weeks after them hiring me full time. Awesome! Boss took something the wrong way in Slack, I responded, she got more offended, I offered to chat about it, but she wasn’t available till 2 days later. So for 2 days I cycled between head aches, asthma, back pain, anxiety shakes and sleeping A LOT because my brain would not shut down the hamster wheel of doom thoughts.
When we did talk, she seemed like a totally different person (which is kind of a red flag to me like okay, either you cooled off or you just got this hot/cold thing going on and I really don’t enjoy dealing with people like that) and it ended up being not so bad. I managed to hopefully appear professional and in control despite feeling extremely exhausted.
Therefore there hasn’t been much writing. Aside from me writing my attorney level defense pre-meeting with her like I was being sent to the gallows. Did a little manga reading at least. A little book reading too. 
(Also for context, this kind of stuff never happens to me. I’ve been in my career 15 years and never clashed with anyone until I specifically began working with women in the same exact field as me. I don’t know what it is. Like if we’re different positions, me a web developer, her a manager or something of a different wheel house? No problem. Same position? The claws come out. Not to sound sexist, but I’ve never, eeeever had these issues working with men. It’s the strangest thing. So understandably, this thing with the new boss who is also a woman and also writes code, triggers some uh… trauma. But dignity doesn’t pay the bills, so I digress!)
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Yeah, ngl, I thought something was wrong with my character dynamics and such because he talked about how weird it was that my male and female leads aren’t dating each other because “they’re young and attractive.” Thankfully Mari (alcoholandcaffeine), who’s read part of the book I’m working on, affirmed that it was in fact not weird for my characters to not be dating, because at that point in the story there’s a big power imbalance between them.
Granted, he did say that I didn’t have to change my story for him because he’s just one guy, but his comments before that made me question how I see and write male-female relationships (platonic or not).
He is a few years older, yes. I’m not sure if it’s just the “new friend sparkle” wearing off or if he’s always been like this, but he’s starting to be less of a person I want to hang out with. I was already hesitant with the invites, but now I’m just going to stop initiating them. The thing is that he and I both go to weekly write nights at the same place; I wouldn’t say I wanna completely avoid him, but I don’t really feel like talking to him outside of the usual Monday meetups.
I also wanna say that he’s a nice person deep down and he does care about people—he’s offered to and has treated other people many times, myself included. It’s just that some of his views on relationships makes me think twice about hanging out with him. I’ve talked to my other writer friends about this and it seems like we all agree that while he’s a nice guy, sometimes he just says things that are… ehhh. I did ask them what would be the best way to break it down to him, and their reply was that he needed to figure things out on his own.
The whole thing about criticism is a sticking point, too. During reading exchanges he’s been vocal about wanting serious feedback and also wanting to give serious feedback, which sounds great, but in practice it’s become an annoyance for me since I prefer something more casual. He couldn’t hold back his urge to give feedback when I’ve told him several times that I do not want to receive it at this stage—it’ll do (and has done) much more harm to my writing and my mindset than good if I haven’t finished the draft yet, and I far prefer to receive feedback when I’m in or near the editing stage. He’s even joked about how “[I] can talk sh–t about [his] work but [he] can’t do the same” when he insisted on receiving critiques 
Like, I intended for this thing to be casual, I came here to write for fun, not to be grilled like I’m in a college creative writing workshop and yet when my fellow pianist friend and I told him that his historically inaccurate premise is historically inaccurate when he asked us how to make his story more historically accurate, he wasn’t receptive 
he hadn’t even written the story yet, he was still at the idea stage
Girl, it’s not sexist, because I feel the same way! Not necessarily with dealing with women in my field specifically, but more about how the people who’ve been the meanest to me were always women. Not that I’ve never had guys who were mean to me, but the number of girls who’ve bullied me is staggering, especially considering the male:female ratio of my environment since kindergarten (went from 7:2, to roughly 17:5, then about 14:4, then engineering school 
).
My last roommate majored in electrical engineering which has one of the lowest male:female ratios, even compared to other engineering majors. She once told me about a lab recitation where she was the only female student and the TA leading it was female. The female TA made a remark about “dressing up to do labs and be professional, not to impress others or attract attention” or something along those lines, and it felt very pointed because my roommate was wearing something nicer than a t-shirt and jeans—her all-male classmates just looked straight at her because of the remark the female TA made 
she wasn’t wearing anything inappropriate.
That roommate also had her physics grade lowered by an entire letter grade because she missed one assignment or lab, I forgot which, due to something period-related, even though her attendance was otherwise perfect and her scores were high. She couldn’t go to a doctor in-person so she got a telehealth doctor’s note and tried to appeal to the professor, who was also female, but instead of extending empathy, the female professor just told her to not use periods as an excuse and said that telehealth was invalid.
Thankfully I didn’t have any incidents like that in college, but I was targeted by other girls before then. One of them later apologized to me twelve years after she joined in bullying me in first grade (which I didn’t quite remember, honestly, since she wasn’t the worst offender).
It’s stuff like this that makes me roll my eyes hard when people say you must believe all women or how women should always support women 
in my experience, nobody tears a woman down better than another woman, and sometimes for no reason other than the fact that she doesn’t like you or sees you as a “threat.” Not every woman is your ally just because you’re both of the same gender—sometimes that’s why considers you her adversary
I’m not sure if you were there, but there was once this thread years ago where someone was venting about how cruel women can be to other women. Some of us—me included—were chiming in with our own experiences about how we, as women, had women as our worst bullies.
Then someone came in like “UM AKSHUALLY, it’s bad of you and sexist to generalize women as a monolith. Now AFABs are generally more empathic than men.”
It’s been years since then so I don’t remember all of what was said, but I was not cool with that. Hey people who are all sharing and collectively bonding over real and lived negative experiences, here’s why talking about it is sexist, stereotyping, and how women are actually more empathic!
And before anyone comes at me, I wanna clarify that I don’t think all women are automatically evil people who’re always out to destroy other women. I’m just saying I dislike the prevalence of female-on-female bullying and how people tend to not only gloss over it, but go as far as to claim that talking about it is sexist. Like come on. I’d argue it’s more harmful than male-on-female bullying. I know I was questioning myself after being bullied and backstabbed by girls only for (some of) them to admit later on that they were unnecessarily mean.
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Yes. This. Culture and how women are raised I think make a difference.
Summary
Most of my friends growing up were guys. Basically all the female best friends I’ve ever had backstabbed me in one way or another aside from one. I think some women tend to mellow out too as they get older, so there’s not as much conflict when compared to being a kid/teen, but at the same time, adults just find new ways to bully each other which I think can be worse.
Men are pretty simple (from my experience and from what I’ve gleaned in convos with my husband). A lot of stuff kind of rolls off their back pretty easily. They’ve been taught to kind of “deal with stuff to be a man” since childhood and so they restrain their emotions more. Not that that’s necessarily good, just stating how it is for a lot of men. And if there is a problem, they’re more likely to be up front with the guy they’re having an issue with rather than the passive aggressive mind games women tend to play. Even genuine good guy friends will “mess” with each other and “get” at each other, and I saw some study that said men’s friendships were healthier because of this. (Assuming the way they tease each other is in good faith, not cruel) It’s because they’re more honest.
I think a lot of women are brought up to avoid direct confrontation. To not speak too bluntly or this or that, too much or too little, whatever, we can’t win lol And so where two men might get into a confrontation, resolve it after establishing a hierarchy between them (aka a civil conversation or it gets physical), and move on, women end up stuck in these circles of stewing in their feelings, hormones etc. In the case of this boss of mine, it’s like, if you needed something from me, why didn’t you tell me? If you weren’t satisfied with my performance, why did you hire me and lead me to believe I was doing a great job? And then to write such a scathing doc with all of the things I need to “improve” but then get on a call like a totally different person – it’s like, it’s so bizarre!
Anyway, the best friendships I’ve had with women were others who were equally introverted and nerdy, not interested in playing the, “Who’s cuter or who can attract more men” games. Just geek out and chill with our “boring” hobbies. Too many women only find value in themselves based on the amount of attention they get, usually from men, but also in general. And it’s a damn shame.
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Comp titles still allude me as I can’t figure which books fit my story.
It sucks that I’m not a consistent reader.
Also do comp titles have to just be books? Can it be books and other forms of media?
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I put this door in the wrong spot (technically) in this fictional mill so no one can sue me for using the floor plans of the real mill I used to work at in this book.
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Still sucks even if you are 
Unless you’re querying, I wouldn’t bother with comp titles
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I do plan on querying someday, but you’re right. Better worrying about it when I’m actually at that point.
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In my experience, anything that has a story is fair game. The only reason that reading specifically would be good for you is because then you hear different ways things can be described, and it’s closer to your craft than a movie would be.
However, does it really matter in the end, as long as it helps you write a better book? Not really 
Not reading enough isn’t smth to be ashamed of! And esp if you have dyslexia, aphantasia, or ADHD. It’s really hard to be interested in books with those conditions cuz they make it SUPER hard to focus and read! So why would you torture yourself if it’s really that bad?
As long as you keep learning from other people in some shape or form… you’ll be fine.
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I do have Autism/ADHD and possibly other things that I don’t know about. That makes reading very hard.
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Yeah, and that’s completely fine :))
I have gotten back into reading fiction novels, but it is a slow process.
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Share: I had a reading exchange with another friend on Friday, and it was a blast!
long story, but there's a cat pic inside
After doing reading exchanges with two of my write night friends, another write night friend—whom I’ll refer to as Kentucky—texted me to ask if I were down to do one with him. I said I was open to! We decided on Friday since it was the day both of us were free. He also invited me to eat dinner with him and his wife, which was really sweet 
I headed down and reached their apartment a little earlier than planned, partially because I overestimated how long it would take me to get there 
I was invited to chill in the living room or anywhere while my friend put the finishing touches to his avgolemono, a Greek soup with lemon and chicken. They had two cats in the house: a very extroverted orange cat who immediately started following me around, and a very shy calico cat with a “butt bump” for a tail.
Cat pic! :3
This cat was following me around so of course I pet him, then he bit me 
my friend then temporarily “grounded” the cat.
Also his wife is just wonderful. We got along pretty well, I’d say. She was pretty chill 
She was very much a music lover. She hadn’t been to any concerts in Chicago yet though she really wants to go to one, so I suggested that she try looking in hottix.org to get discounted tickets to several performances.
We had dinner a little later, opening with some slices of really nice bread and butter. They had to trap the orange cat in the bedroom because he wouldn’t stop jumping onto the table. I had also brought a pouch of really nice jasmine tea, so we had tea and small snacks for dessert. They liked the tea a lot!
Then the actual reading exchange. We moved to the living room. My friend didn’t have as much content for me to read since he mostly did poetry and journaling, so we agreed to read for either twenty minutes or whenever I finish his stuff, whichever came last. I read as slowly as possible and took a couple bathroom breaks, which helped to give him more time to read my story. He finished reading until Chapter VII or VIII.
The discussion we had afterward was pretty fun! I asked him if he’d rather talk about his stuff first or mine, and he said he was fine with either. We talked about his poems and snippets first. I really liked how he played with formatting in poems, and he was really happy to hear that one of my favorite poems of his happened to also be one of his favorites; it’s basically three short lines about how talking to a moron can feel like “chewing glass” with one’s butthole that was hilarious. There was also one poem that he wrote upside-down or mirrored? He didn’t notice it, but I brought up how I flipped his book upside-down to try to decipher what the letters were. There was just a lot of discussion of poetry in general.
Then next was the discussion about my story! He said he really liked the food descriptions and how the commenters were also raving about my food descriptions he doesn’t use Wattpad so he’s not familiar with commenting on stories the way people do on Wattpad, so he spent a lot of time pressing comments to see other people’s reactions. He liked that aspect a lot! As for the characters, he was intrigued by Edin’s amnesia and unnatural bloodlust, and one of the things that he really wanted to find out was how Arden would react to his urges. I asked him which character was his favorite so far, and he said it was Arden—he just found her being super intriguing, especially considering how she was “head honcho” at such a young age.
We ended up yapping about a bunch of other stuff. We talked about our other write night friends. Our blond friend hadn’t been showing up lately due to how hectic his life became, and we were both talking about how much we missed him and how good his writing is. His wife joined in as soon as music was brought up in the discussion. We ended up talking so much that we didn’t realize how late it was, and before we knew it, it was almost 11:00 p.m. I had never gone to their part of town before so I asked them if it was safe to walk to the bus stop after dark. While they both said that it was safe, they understood my concern and were willing to walk me to the bus stop. We soon found out that the specific bus line had already stopped service for the day, though, so my friend’s wife suggested that he drive me home 
it was really appreciated. I thanked both of them profusely for hosting me and giving me a ride back home 
So yeah, it was great! He was already talking about doing another one as we pulled up to my aunt’s apartment. I don’t know how the next one will go considering that I’ve read most of what he’s written so far, but I’m excited too!
Progress: I’ve written maybe a couple hundred words over the last few weeks. The end of Act II somehow feels closer and further away at the same time. It doesn’t help that I’ve been rethinking my decisions regarding how the last few chapters will end lately like whether Hilda, the senior guardian assigned as Edin’s bodyguard, will killed by Damon or not.
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