That’s interesting. It was much worse then since that was a different time/era. It is still the slight same now regardless of the medical advances.
Thank you so much! It is nice knowing that I no longer have to blame myself and think “Oh, I am just lazy and that is that.” I knew something wasn’t right, I just wasn’t sure at the time. Thanks again.
I am thinking about switching to a different web browser so that I can use something other than Microsoft Edge and Google. I need to know what the best browser is out there for this year onto next year.
In all honesty, I am going to give Firefox a shot to see how different it is since using it decades ago.
Hit me up with more information.
It feels like it is impossible to not multi-task even though I am not that great at it.
I understand if I want background noise, but let it be music or something that isn’t movement. I always need to watch anime while I write fiction and that isn’t good.
Just pick one thing and stick to that for a good minute.
sighs
Firefox is a favorite of mine but chrome has cooler extensions
Yeah, it is nice and seems simple enough.
I don’t need much at the moment. 
the end of this chapter landed exactly on the last line of this notebook. satisfication level 100
it was chapter 40, too, which feels even more satisfying because it ends in a zero 
I haven’t been writing what I’m supposed to be writing.
Instead I had a dream, and I wrote the first chapter of a sci-fi/end of the world thriller that I have no business writing because I know nothing about science, and space. So yay!
It’ll probably only go as far as this one chapter… I hope. 
Interesting tidbit. My therapist told me that ADHD often gets misdiagnosed as bi-polar disorder or even hearing loss.
Which made it even more confusing for me because I actually have hearing loss so double combo!
Anyway, it most definitely was not your fault. It’s easier these days to figure it out because of the wealth of knowledge online and less stigma (though stigma still exists, like a LOT), but when you/your guardians didn’t have the resources growing up, there’s only so much you can figure out without said resources. I struggled with anxiety really bad since I was like 13 on, and off. I thought I was friggin’ nuts for so many years until my mid-20s when I googled what I was feeling, and realized I was having a panic attack. Then the mental health journey began.
Another interesting tidbit. Ever notice how when you read about ADHD symptoms, autism etc. the symptoms are based on how you inconvenience others. So basically because our brains do stuff that annoy other people, we’re labeled as the abnormal ones. Strange, right? Another topic my therapist and I have discussed.
I’m no professional, and I’ve only been diagnosed like a year ago, but what you’re trying to force yourself to do is the exact opposite of how your brain works. And you can’t force it. Yes, there are medications and certain things that can help, but you can’t make your brain do stuff the way a non-ADHD brain does stuff. A lot of times, the only way to get something done IS to multi-task, not avoid it.
I’ve done it before too where I’m doing two or three things a little at once. But if I try to force myself to do one thing, and my brain isn’t up for it, the effort is in vain because it’s not going to happen. Then I just end up achieving nothing at all. Versus maybe achieving 10% of each of the 3 tasks I’m doing at the same time? 10% is better than 0%?
I’m bad at analogies. I recently discovered there’s an ADHD diet. I’m not sticking to said diet, but it is helpful to see what foods/drinks make ADHD worse. Top of the list usually is sugar. Caffeine/stimulants help but they’re a double edged sword. A lot of ADHD meds are stimulants so while the focus is there, you’re jumping off the walls/jittery. My therapist also says an ADHD person who isn’t eating well or sleeping well isn’t going to function well either. So best thing you can do is make sure you eat, sleep, take care of yourself, and try to achieve things in small increments however your brains figures it out. If you’re in “hyperfocus” (which is our ADHD super power), GREAT! If not, then try to work with your brain even if it’s not doing what you’d prefer it to do.
That is great that you told me that. Thank you so very much.
I greatly appreciate it.
I wish I had your therapist.
I probably shouldn’t had word it like that. My apologies.
Thinking back when I used to game a lot. I wasn’t all that into it as I thought I was.
From when I had my very first Nintendo 64 to Nintendo Switch, I don’t think I ever had that one game where I completed from beginning to end that wasn’t Mario Party, Super Smash(?), and Mario Kart.
The same applies to some of the Sonic games and that one Legend of Zelda game (the latest one).
I’ve noticed a pattern just now. Whenever I play video games, I would play, but depending on how challenging the level is I would get so frustrated and give up till next time which is days or weeks later. I would get overwhelmed on whether or not I would go back to the game for a while or play something simpler.
Especially with certain Mario games and that Legend of Zelda game (first time playing Zelda). It would get bad that I would continue to buy more games that just to confront even more problems.
I am wondering if the ADHD played a role in that. I would buy a bunch of games, play with it for some days or weeks, get bored or overwhelm, then ignore it for a while till I feel like going back to it.
It sucks because I LOVE Super Mario and I grew up as a Super Mario fan. I will not stop loving Princess Peach because she is my favorite.
I just wished it didn’t have to be that way. I miss gaming in a sense.
Fanfiction is easy because for the title and blurb you just need a song!
Take this for your next fanfiction
Wait…do you even listen to Metallica or your just using that as in an example?
An example. Inspiration, if you will. And yes, this is something if a deep cut - Load is the unloved child of their discography. At least until they made Reload.
Ah, I see.
I honestly thought you liked Metallica as a band and find their music great or something.
I am tired of assuming things…
I like them pretty well but their quality is inconsistent to say the least. Most bands have a good era and a shit era, but Metallica ping-pongs from pretty good to okay to amazing to absolutely awful. They are unique.
That is interesting.
I suppose most musicians are like that.
Not to the degree of Metallica. St. Anger and Lulu should be studied in music theory classes because they are screwed up in ways almost unseen before.
No, it’s okay. It’s hard to find a good therapist. So many people who work in mental health and honestly suck at it. So if you go to a therapist and find that that person isn’t for you, don’t be afraid to keep looking until you find one that not only truly listens, but can explain/walk you through how your diagnosis/symptoms work. The goal is to learn how to work with your brain, not to “fix” it.
Speaking of music, which genres do you gravitate towards?
From what I see, it is heavy metal.
Name the metal bands you love…a lot.
Is that right?