My editor said I should change “adored” to “preferred” to better rhyme with “word”. But if I change it to “preferred” it changes the whole meaning.
The point is that person A told the world a secret about person B, and now person A is adored (lots of likes, follows, etc.), not “preferred” over person B.
Isn’t there a rhyming thing where people rhyme “again” and “rain”?
Can’t “adored” rhyme with “word”?
Same thing with
“I chance you again to pour out my soul
and confess dark stories yet to be told”
My editor says to change this, too, but can’t “soul” rhyme with “told”.
I know it’s not like “bold” and “told”, or “soul” and “coal” but doesn’t “soul” and “told” sound similar enough?
how does adored not rhyme with word? but preferred does? I’m confused
and “adored” works a lot better with “a word” imo.
and I didn’t see a problem with soul and told.
what is your editor looking to edit, exactly? it feels a lot like nitpicking without knowing the context
I know nothing about poetry so don’t listen to me, but I loved the last two lines and thought they were great. I would not change adored to preferred if I were you.
But for some reason I totally hate the two lines with speak and reek, although I can’t really articulate why. There’s probably nothing wrong with them, but they bother me. ¯\_(ﭢ)_/¯
I prefer your version over the editor’s (“adored” instead of “preferred”). Not only would their edit change the meaning of the poem, as you’ve explained already, it also sounds out of place as a word per se - to me, “preferred” feels too sterile compared to the rest shown in the screenshot. One “being preferable” or “preferred” over the other, is a wording I personally associate with a medical article rather than a piece of poetry. “Adored”, on the other hand, carries a greater emotional charge to it.
I have a theory on why your editor is acting so nitpicky. You have attempted to establish a clear rhyming pattern in your poem (AABBCDE, FF, AABBCDE, FF). The words “soul” and “told” do not rhyme despite sounding very similar: that weakens the structure. They probably think this minor discrepancy weakens your poem as a whole, hence their suggestion with a goal of making it rhyme at all costs. In other words, some editors simply value the form over the content, which is something I had the experience of dealing with too.
If you ask me, it is totally fine to twist and break structures if you maintain the overall flow and elegance in expressing yourself, especially in poetry. I’d leave your stanza as it is right now if I were in your shoes.
I wouldn’t change it just for the sake of changing it since preferred, like you said, changes the meaning. However, I agree with your editor on one thing: I don’t see at all how adored rhymes with a word?
I ended up changing this part because after thinking about it for a while, I came to your same thought–it does seem to weaken the structure. So, I was able to find a word that works better and still makes sense.
I chance you again to pour out my soul
and confess dark stories with emotional control.
I think that’s exactly what’s happening!
She’s suggested, even to create a plural form of “fog” to rhyme with “cats-and-dogs”.
If it was about fogging, like “smoke fogs the street”, it would make sense, but what she was suggesting was “misty fogs”.
We could be pronouncing it differently Idk. But I do see what you mean. If you read the words individually, just like reading “again” and “rain” individually, it doesn’t exactly rhyme.
But when I read the words with the rest, it doesn’t sound as jarring as trying to rhyme “again” and “rain”
Hmm
But I did end up changing the “told” and “soul” rhyme. Maybe that one was a little too forced
Maybe it’s just pronunciation, but I feel like adored would rhyme with words like ward, sword, lord. Word would rhyme with bird, but maybe that’s my accent lol.
Saying that though, again and rain also depends on accent. Naturally I wouldn’t pronounce them in the same way but seeing them paired together with the intent to be rhymed I can interpret them in that way.
I’d leave your stanza as it is right now if I were in your shoes.
Idk. But I do see what you mean. If you read the words individually, just like reading “again” and “rain” individually, it doesn’t exactly rhyme.