Seventeen-year-old Eryn shoves her morals down the drain to let her popular friend Celeste dictate her life. It’s a small price to pay for a cut of the fame. As an important rule for the “popular girl”, Celeste tells Eryn to only focus on herself no matter what.
When an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic world, Eryn becomes enmeshed in a fight against a deadly monster of madness. She soon learns she possesses a power called “the alyce” which can either help destroy the monster or unlock the door to her home world. In “popular girl” fashion, Eryn chooses only to focus on finding a way home. But when she befriends Duxim, a sweet hare boy, and Clue, a quiet and kind soldier, her old morals resurface, and her heart begins to waver.
She can save herself and run home to Celeste, or risk her life for her new friends. Eryn must quickly decide as the monster is growing stronger.
I like the price to pay part, but I didn’t feel like it was tying into the rest of the blurb. People would wonder why I mention it at all. So, I tried something different.
That actually focuses better on the part of Celeste this is, but it reads a touch more technical than the last one, so it’s really concise, but may not be as exciting to a younger audience (which means younger people than me).
I realize it does read kind of…idk, I guess technical.
Idk what I want to do with it anymore XD
I’m now wondering if I shouldn’t do anything with Celeste, and just say,
Seventeen-year-old Eryn wants to be famous like her friend and copies the self-centeredness even if it goes against her morals. A small price to pay for fame.
When an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic realm haunted by a monster of madness, Eryn learns she possess a power called “the alyce” which could destroy the monster, but also unlock the door to her home world.
Eryn chooses to use it to go home, and refuses to help destroy the deadly monster which could kill her. But when she befriends yada yada Duxim and Clue, her heart wavers.
She could stay and fight to save her new friends, or go home to safety and her old life. But she must decide quickly as the monster grows stronger.
Tick-tock, tick-tock…
you know…what, I just quickly wrote this up, but could it be better?
Seventeen-year-old Eryn wants to be popular like her friend and copies the self-centeredness even if it goes against her morals. She demands her way and ignores the problems of others. A small price to pay for fame.
When an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic realm haunted by a monster of madness, Eryn learns she possess a power called “the alyce”. It could either help defeat the monster or unlock the door to her home world. Choosing to use the alyce for herself, she demands for help and refuses to fight the deadly monster as she imagines her friend would have done.
But when Eryn befriends Duxim, a sweet hare boy, and Clue, a quiet and kind soldier, her old morals resurface, and her heart begins to waver. She could go home to safety and forget about the magical world, or stay and fight for her new friends. Eryn must decide quickly as the monster grows stronger.
See the only issue is that “alyce” classifies as a name because it is the name of this power. That’s why I keep asking why you’re not capitalising it. It looks wrong
I figured it out? I was able to bring in the pivotal moment in the first paragraph.
Seventeen-year-old Eryn shoves her conscience out the door, refusing to think about anyone but herself as she enjoys her “perfect” world. That is until her life turns upside down when an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic realm haunted by a monster of madness.
The monster controls people to aid it, and while escaping their attacks, Eryn accidentally frees an army captain from decades-long mind control. Turns out, she possesses a power called the “alyce” which could be used to help defeat the monster. But Eryn focuses only on trying to get home, ignoring guilty feelings.
When she befriends Duxim, a sweet hare boy, and Clue, a quiet and kind soldier, she can no longer ignore her conscience. If she left her new friends, they would certainly die. If she stayed, it would be at the risk of her life as the monster could consume her. She must quickly make her choice as warning signs lead many to believe the monster might soon destroy the entire realm.
