Seventeen-year-old Eryn lets her selfish best friend Celeste dictate her life from how to act, dress, and who to associate with, even when it goes against her own morals. Eryn canât do anything without Celeste. So, when an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic world alone, one thing leads to another, and she becomes enmeshed in a decades-old hunt for a power called âalyceâ.
When she learns her alyce could destroy the monster of madness haunting the realm, she hesitates to help because Celeste wouldnât have. The monster could consume her like it has many others. But when she befriends Duxim, a sweet hare boy, Ace, a conflicted army captain, and Clue, a quiet soldier, her heart begins to waver.
Eryn could leave without care as Celeste would have done, or she could stand on her own, and risk her life for her new friends. She must decide quickly as the monster is growing stronger.
As @Qualeshia12 would say: thoughts and feelings? Sorry for the tag, but I have to quote you
@alenatenjo I remember you do editing. Iâm wondering if you could be the second pair of eyes for this and see if thereâs anywhere I could improve grammar or sentence flow?
âfrom how toâ doesnât work for this structure of sentence. Youâve listed things instead of doing something like âfrom how to act and dress to who to associate with, even when it goes against her own moralsâ
Some people on FB were saying to ditch the part about the friend entirely, but I wasnât sure about that because I think it shows Erynâs personal stakes better if Celeste is in the blurb.
Otherwise I would end up telling the story about why she cares about Duxim, Ace, and Clue in the blurb, which is just too much
Seventeen-year-old Eryn lets her popular friend Celeste dictate her life on how to act and even on what boys to date. Whatever morals she had was a small price to pay for a cut of Celesteâs fame. To protect that image, Eryn wouldnât do anything without Celesteâs approval.
When an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic world, alone, she becomes enmeshed in a decades-old hunt for a power called âalyceâ. Eryn tries all the tactics she learned from Celeste, but no one helps her as they are busy fighting a monster of madness haunting the realm.
Eryn learns her alyce could destroy the monster, but Celeste wouldnât help if she were here. Besides, facing the monster could mean death. But when Eryn befriends Duxim, a sweet hare boy, Ace, a conflicted army captain, and Clue, a quiet soldier, her heart begins to waver.
She could run home to her old life with Celeste, or stand on her own risking her life for her new friends in this chaotic new realm. Eryn must decide quickly as the monster is growing stronger.
Okay, no more sending it to FB groups. Theyâre helpful only up to a point
Seventeen-year-old Eryn lets her popular friend Celeste dictate her life from how to act to what boys to date. Whatever morals she had were a small price to pay for a cut of Celesteâs fame. To protect that image, Eryn wouldnât do anything without Celesteâs approval.
When an old bracelet thrusts her into a magical, chaotic world, alone, she becomes enmeshed in a decades-old hunt for a power called the âalyceâ. Eryn tries all the tactics she learned from Celeste, but no one helps her as they are busy fighting a monster of madness haunting the realm.
Eryn learns her alyce could destroy the monster, but Celeste wouldnât help if she were here. Besides, facing the monster could mean death. But when Eryn befriends Duxim, a sweet hare boy, Ace, a conflicted army captain, and Clue, a quiet soldier, her heart begins to waver.
She could run home to her old life with Celeste, or stand on her own risking her life for her new friends in this chaotic new realm. Eryn must decide quickly as the monster is growing stronger.
Celeste isnât a big part of the story IN ACTION, but she is at the heart of what motivates Eryn, so it really does need to focus on how sheâs a catalyst, and not truly be about her.
Sorry for the tag, but I have to quote you 
