Oh… and I have to run a path finder game as GM today 
Again, it’s just sardonically funny. It’s the worst batch of insomnia I’ve had in ages, but it’s also ironically the time where I’ve never felt more like myself. 
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Nice! I have a character who’s kinda like you.
Yeah, I haven’t met anyone. I’ll meet new people when I’m there. Hopefully I can pick up Portuguese quickly too. I’ve already done so with Spanish.
If that was a yuri plot, it’d be brilliant and romantic.
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Yep, that’s also my problem with writing a book in a month. I guess these rules apply if you’re writing a simple book like some romance or typical fiction, not fantasy or mystery.
Relate to this. I too want a typewriters.
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This is the same everywhere, and it’s a bit more complicated than simply “this group is malicious and/or abusing their power”.
Firstly, you do need a degree, so I agree with your girlfriend. A degree makes your life way easier, and if that means spending just a year doing things you dislike, that’s still relatively tame. It’s not like you can’t function without a degree, but it makes your life so much easier that you’re better off just spending the additional year pursuing the degree.
Secondly, life is all about compromise. It might seem like university is outdated, but the moment you head to work, you’ll see how bad it really is. Yes, you will have to sit quietly in class for a lot of time and then go home and teach yourself, or listen to incompetent people who don’t know what they’re doing. That’s just how things work, unfortunately. Change will be good, especially now, but it will be slow and difficult, so you just have to be prepared to waste a year. Good thing is it’s just a year.
And if it’s any comfort (or hurt), you really are an afterthought in the system. The college must tend to its own issues, and you’re essentially a project, not a person in its eyes. They need you churned out quickly and in a good job so you can have their college in your resume and LinkedIn and that gives them clout.
And sadly, I can actually justify the your issues with the system:
- The system doesn’t change because change is difficult to undertake. For every change you introduce, you bring about (on average) two more difficulties that you need to address. Schools and colleges aren’t uniform insttitutes, they have lots of moving parts which influence each other in unique ways, so getting through all of it is especially difficult. And it’s even worse when bureaucracy is involved, because then you’re waiting for a number of approvals and stuff.
- The issue with authority figures is they’re also human and jarred out by their roles. They’re already having to balance their own work life balance, so they don’t really have the time to figure out which student needs help and which student is just faking it, because a lot of people actually do fake it. But yeah, people do tend to abuse their power, especially those who are in this field speficially because of nepotism. A solution to this would be better teacher training.
- The degree is worth it, unfortunately, because people can lie. It’s true that someone who has good experience and intelligence can do way better than someone without those but with a degree, but the problem is some people are really good at lying and faking their way through. So a degree is the best option a lot of institutions have of confirming that you really are skilled. It doesn’t really work, but works maybe a bit more than the latter. The idea is if you’re lying, you can’t hold up the same lie for 2-5 years.
- Also, a lot of people make the mistake of thinking they’re so skilled that they don’t need the degree. That’s just not true because universities teach you professionality, rigour and procedure, which is often more important than skill. I’ve had problems with juniors who are really good at work but terrible at listening to what they’ve been told to do. If you get a job, you’ll have to work as part of a team, and sometimes you are not required to think. You’re not paid to think.
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Steal it
I fantasize about writing on one 
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That makes me so fucking sad. I wish I was in a world where free thinking was valued 
but no, people want robots 
I would LOVE to finish school! I would be SO FUCKING HAPPY if I did. But, according to my past, no one will give a fuck if I live or die. I’m just there to be used for money, given a piece of paper worth nothing, and then kicked out again. And unless I’m useful, I should leave.
And it all adds up. Ik not every uni is like mine (where the profs can’t even talk to each other if we’re in the same module). It’s like trying to move mountains 
And I know I can do it, I just don’t want to. I really don’t. I’m tired of being strong and pushing through and I just want to be allowed to enjoy the present. I don’t want to dread tomorrow because it will be hell. I don’t want to lash out at my gf bc I’m so stressed I can barely think.
I’m just… idk what to do that will make school better for me, it I really wish I knew
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I don’t have the characters for that. I have only one yuri couple and it involves an ice princess and a cute but chronically overwhelmed puppy girl.
I do too, though not permanently because I feel like that’d be difficult work. I’m thinking it could be nice if I got a mechanical keyboard that had a similar bounce, and on top of that a sound mod that made a typewriter sound.
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Yep, nothing to do there. On the bright side, you’ll get used to it. I used to be like that too when I was 19-21, but now I’m glad I don’t have to use my brain most of the time at work, just follow orders blindly.
Thinking is stressful, especially if it’s for work. You’ll think you have a brilliant plan, but something goes wrong when you try to execute it because there was some factor you forgot to consider. And it’s even worse when your job is on the line, because a mistake can cost you money. Doesn’t mean it will always happen, but if it’s your job, you’ll have to do it over and over again, for years or decades.
Yep, no one is allowed to enjoy the present. That’s the horrible fact of life. Even the people imposing this system are not enjoying it. It will multiple major overhauls before things get well.
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Take a moment to think about it: you’re only 26 and you’re already ruined from being an adult.
As you say, you think that things are the way they are and you just accept with complacency that they will never change, and it’s not your job to make them different, and you need to patiently wait for them to just… shift.
I refuse to be ruined like that. I refuse to believe that there is nothing I can ever do to help myself make better choices. I will never succumb to the numb infinity of going through the motions without ever being truly alive.
I do not deny that hell exists, nor that I am currently in it. However, I will not give up my dreams just because some rich powerful idiot in the some powerful corporation at end of the world tells me to.
I am naive, and maybe that’s why I’m still here. It’s because I still think anything is possible if you try hard enough. And I will make it possible. Try me.
And maybe I’ll finish college, maybe I won’t. But this isn’t about that anymore. It’s about making my own choices and never giving up on what makes me feel alive.
When there’s a will, there’s a way. And there’s so many ways to make my life easier when it comes to school. The list is fucking HUGE.
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Nah, not ‘ruined’, more like matured. Plus I was never very chaotic, so I probably didn’t feel like.
I don’t say ‘things will never change’, but it won’t change fast enough that you’ll feel it and actually benefit from it. You only have one year to go anyway, so just burn through it and it’ll be done.
Some fights are just not worth it.
But now let’s see what the others say. Or check if your girlfriend agrees with my philosophy.
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I’m not fight the system. I’m fighting to get what I need.
They’re two different fights lol.
Ik I said earlier about the broken system and stuff, but I guess it only breaks you if you let it. So if I do want to finish uni, it won’t be in a way that lets it do that.
It’s called asking for help 
And the disability office can do a lot. So can my friends and gf. And other school services.
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Also it’s just sad to see people who want actual things and to question and to think just… stop. Because it’s hard.
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Nice! Proud of you!
Yep, and I guess threatening legal action also works. Plus you have a history of such incidents so it would be an easy win, provided what you’re asking for is fine.
In college or in the workforce? In college, yeah. In the workforce, it’s actually a saving grace.
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exactly. you do what you have to so you get what you need lol.
i’m… not going to argue straight up with this, because it seems our viewpoints are just incompatible, and it would be useless to try to prove that one of us is correct. yours works for you, so it’s correct. mine works for me, so it’s also correct.
however, I will say one thing: thinking is useful. it helps you make good choices. with or without work as the main topic, it helps you see things objectively, consider your options carefully, and recognize pros, cons, or opportunity that others may miss. it helps you grow.
maybe don’t throw it out entirely?
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Yeah, I just remembered the joke that Americans threaten to sue for every reason. I know you’re not American, but I’m wondering if all westerners are like that.
Hm?
I mean I do agree that thinking is useful, but I’m wondering if it’s a values clash or there’s an error in trade-off evaluation. Let’s create a spreadsheet:
| Point | Upside | Downside | Jasper’s Verdict | Repurcussions for Failure | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Thinking is hard work | It keeps your mind strong | It’s mentally expensive | It’s something people should definitely do more. People don’t think often, and that’s causing them issues. | Sometimes your job asks you to ‘not think’, and sometimes they have a reason for that. | I’ve seen westerners have a ‘make fast, break things’ attitude. I hate this with all my heart. This only works when you have nothing to lose. But if you do, you cannot really afford to take unnecessary risks. For every success story, you have 99 failure stories. |
| Your decision, your responsibility | if things work, you get credit | if things don’t work, you get the blame | Do it only if you’re really sure about it | If you’re following protocol, and you fail, then you can blame the system. If you’re following your own logic and you fail, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself. | You may become the scapegoat anyway. Westerners have a person-centric approach, where when something fails, they starting looking for a single person to blame. |
| You may have a unique solution | It might genuinely be a good idea | you might fail to notice something | Do a thorough testing before execution. Someone else may have had the same idea long before you, but it failed because for some reason you don’t see yet. | If you execute an idea and it fails, it may 1) hurt your ego and self-worth, 2) cause people to get angry at you for not following orders. | Sometimes people genuinely don’t implement their ideas because they’ve never had the time, and you can because you have the time. |
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Good!! Being an adult doesn’t mean you have to just roll over and accept what someone older/richer than you is saying. Being scared to make your situation better helps nobody. 
I spent too long thinking “this is just how it is”, but really, it’s not, and I wish I’d have learned that much sooner.
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I’m only just replying to you now. Thought I replied earlier:
Ah, that makes a lotta sense. Advanced humans, but still human and they live a long time. For some reason, this reminds me of the early people in Genesis in the bible. Apparently, they were bigger, stronger than use and lived longer (up to 969 years old).
700 years old is a good age. Most regular people are happy if they live to 1/10th of that tbh
It’s a hellscape? 
I guess we imagined that completely differently. I was imagining Mars as a utopia, for some reason. Well somewhat better than Earth, for some reason. But I guess you meant it like more inhospitable. Hellscape, I get it now.
Ah, high altitude. I see. I don’t run much so I might be alright and I’d probably hang around the sea more if I went. I can imagine it now. So it’s basically like a cold, not very habited desert the further south you go. That’s pretty cool.
Llamas. I would really like one. I’d be riding one around Mars. I didn’t know that camelids were that hardy. Well, I suppose because camels themselves are hardy in the desert too, makes sense.
That sounds good, vanishing empires. Bare relics. Is the motto gonna be in hieroglyphs?
I am stocky, and shorter than average and a bit muscular. (My genetics make me shorter lol, I didn’t get the tall genetics thanks Dad and Momma). I can come across as brash and strong at times.
I see, and if your brain works differently and AI works for your workflow, that’s fine. I try not to use AI, unless I really have to or it’s very useful for me in the current project.
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gasp i’m not that western!
but seriously. I do have to sometimes because people are jerks. I don’t do it because of no reason, like the steryotype, though. just when people aren’t taking me or my gf seriously with our copious amounts of under-represented issues.
the latest example was my diability ajustments for exams changing TWO DAYS before my exam. it was the last one, and they had no problem with giving me the accomodations for the rest of them… and then SUDDENLY it became an issue 
so ofc I had to quote the 3 laws they broke because they were stupid.
(part 1/2)
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Oh.
I swear that’s entirely separate from what I have, but now that I see it, it does seem like that: both groups are more good (even though my world operates on dharma and Christians see the material world as real).
I only read like parts of the Bible, never the full text. I don’t think I’m missing much, though. I’d pay good money for a Biblical tales book with the main god taken out, just all the stories and events.
Ah! I guess many stories do have Mars as a utopia, typically featuring a domed city there. I don’t go with that, though. I mean, Mars is technically still livable if you live by the coast, and actually quite comfortable, but not the inland deserts. But overall, it’s way worse than earth.
And yeah, imagine a cold desert. If you don’t know it, watch some videos on the Gobi desert and you’ll get it. When most people imagine deserts, they think of sand dunes, so not that (those are present, but not very common – fun fact, they’re not very common in the Sahara either).
Camels are actually very cool:
No, that’s just my motto. The empire’s motto might have been something like “look on my works, ye mighty, and despair”. That would fit.
Ah, I see. Stockiness might lead to some scariness. I’m 180 cm tall and weigh 83 kilos, but my bones are large and muscles are dense, so I look thinnier than I am.
Yeah, makes sense. I guess not using AI too much is a good idea, since that way you can keep more of your own touch in your work.
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Yeah, I can understand. I actually think people should be suing a bit more. I look around here, and see a lot of issues that could be solved if only people threatened (and feared) lawsuits. I’d totally go back and threaten my school with a lawsuit for all the mental pressures.
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