I jsut remember a video from Black Rifle Coffee company where a guy shoots a klan ghost with a bazooka.
Still better than eating crayons to get out of a Saw trap.
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Another gripe relating to horror films is the sheer unrealistic curiosity that humans have.
Although some humans aren’t like that, most humans are and it is rather depressing seeing how curious they are about things that can instantly kill them and are beyond their comprehension.
Like I get that you want to know about what can kill you, but at some point it becomes no longer the point of understanding the enemy…it becomes a fight for survival.
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Such a military joke.
AI rendering of that doll’s face shifted to more human proportions. Yes, I had this in my phone already.
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He looks almost too normal
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I wanted a normal looking person who could be teased about being that dang muppet.
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I think my main gripe with horrors at the moment is that the mainstream ones are uninspired and either using pre-existing IPs as a crutch (Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw to name a few) whilst destroying what made the OGs so good, ooooor they’re leaning too heavily into jumpscares instead of being actually scary.
Last year was a really good year for horrors (particularly low-budget flicks and slashers), and Scream was great. But the Netflix TCM reboot was awful, the Halloween reboots (not last year, but still) were dogwater, and most of the mainstream horrors were ‘meh’, including Megan which was reshot to get a lower theatrical rating.
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I had a babysitter named Megan once so I was intrigued on that level. Megan, though, not Meg3n.
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- No one in horror films knows how to fight, has any sense of self-preservation or situational awareness.
- The military (if present) are depicted as under-equipped incompetent morons…Dear Zombie Horde, let me introduce you to a pre-sighted artillery regiment (with air-burst fletched rounds)…
- Characters prioritise drama, and petty squabbles / teen romances over staying alive, or escape and evasion or general stealth…Perimeter security? What’s that…?
- And all guns shoot gel balls apparently.
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I’ve seen a vintage photo of a guy with bite proof armor, made for dogs but human bites aren’t as powerful.
99% of movie monsters could be killed by modern weapons, the 1% is Godzilla eating nuclear warheads for dinner.
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I have seen many How to Beat style vidoes, and prioritizing petty drama over survival is a common mistake characters in shitty horror movies make. The chances are higher if this is one of those teenager slaughter fests that exist for the date night crowd.
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Some military dogs now have titanium-capped teeth to help them grip light armour, or cause additional discomfort to un-armoured opponents (self propelled chew toys).
I’m often surprised by how strong some dogs are (and how sharp their teeth are). Long ago, one of our Jack Russell pups carried a rock home from the beach. I tried to extract the rock from the possessive furball’s mouth, and then mummified my thumb with Band-Aids. Another JR puppy bit into my shoulder while we were playing on the couch, adding to my scar collection…Nothing against Jack Russells, they are amazing dogs…Anyway, why do the clowns out there believe they have a chance against police or military trained Shepards or Malinois (cruise missiles with fur and teeth)?
Oh, ye oldie Magnum revolver should prove adequate defence against zombies or Scream style slashers…
And good luck to any beastie caught on the wrong end of a .50cal…
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Even those toy dogs are bad enough.
I only know one person who thinks they can take on a medium size dog but he’s an ex-cop who has trained in the art of the flashlight.
But it’s realistic. They play it safe with squabbles that don’t hurt as much, but the type of leadership you would need to survive some things is military level discipline.
Put it this way: get some military butt who is 2 shade off some of these hate groups, drop him in any city, and willing to help because “out there” is worse than “in here”. Now, you’d hope this character would grow, but the reality is that he’d say the wrong things to the wrong people and Mr Skills would die before he trains anyone for survival. I don’t care what flavor or spin you put on each person/people’s, it’s a recipe for disaster.
The only way that dude survived is if he’s rural and you make it to him, then you’ve got:
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Hm yes I see. Still weird when people are more concerned with their soap opera level dramas that they ignore the imminent threats. Especially in death games.
People are petty and stupid. A person is intelligent. Your job is to be a thinking individual not a group ruled by your emotions.
But that’s what humans do.
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Okay
this is one
Blond sexy girl dating sporty guy and shy but studious brunette interesting in also studious brunette guy all go to a cabin (either summer vacation or car broke down).
The first two that die are the sexy girl and her boyfriend usually because they were being super careless and stupid and making out in dark, scary places after activating a demon in a book and are the bodies to be discovered.
Then while brunette girl and guy are escaping they kind of fall in love but then he gets killed. Then the girl comes out alive because of course, the shy girl suddenly overcomes all her fears and is suddenly the strongest of the bunch and the only one to live to tell the tale.
You see this format a lot in horror movies that touch on the B-movie boundaries. It’s so predictable.
Also,
these things
when horror movies think they have to have make-out scenes.
when horror movies have bland characters doing bland things the first 5-10min of the movie, because the character backstories don’t matter at all. Just have them be college kids going on vacation or a troubled family buying a haunted home. Producers and directors wanna hurry up and get to the ghosts and monsters.
when it’s often the mom or the woman that’s “gone crazy” and the dad or boyfriend or whoever only notices things are very real when something happens right in front of his eyes or to him. Sometimes, he still won’t believe.
I’ve only seen a few movies where the man actually says, “okay, I believe you. I hear you. Because I care about you. Let’s see what we can do.”
And there’s a lot of stereotypes in horror movies the more B-rated you get.
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It’s a doubled insult: women aren’t capable of rational thought so no one listens to her (this is as old as the fall of Troy, btw), and men can’t functionally think on their own (buffoon trope of every sitcom towards dad’s)
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This one WOULD ALWAYS PISS ME OFF I don’t regret feeling this way!
When the characters are running away from danger, someone trips on air, then takes their sweet time getting up, yet when they come face to face with whatever is chasing them, they sit there frozen in fear then die!
I can not tell just how much that pisses me off.
I don’t want to hear you trying to change my mind and want me to be more sympathetic towards that character.
I am so sick of seeing that in horror. Realistic or not, I am sick of how disappointing it is it.
Why? BECAUSE THERE IS SOME ACTUAL DAMN TRUTH TO IT AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!!
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This is something I’ve never liked in horror movies because not only is it traumatizing, but it’s definitely hard on the person if they’re the only ones.
The Mist messed me up as a kid because he killed everyone, even his own child, as they didn’t think they’d make it out alive, and then the mist disappears and the army comes along and starts helping people… and then he realizes what the frick he just did.
There’s this other horror/thriller I watched that also was messed up. It’s called Fractured, on Netflix. Ooof.
I really hate it when sex is the main factor in the movie. Like, a bunch of teens get together to have sex and then everyone dies. Not only is it boring but it’s freaking annoying.
When movies always end terribly, like everyone dies or it was left on an open ending or something. Sometimes, it’s okay but it happens enough to a point where you start to notice that Hollywood can’t make anything good anymore.
When the horror movie has humor. I can’t stand it. Like, if it’s categorized and marketed as horror, but then you watch it and they make it some parody or comedy skit… no. A little bit of humor here and there is fine, like great one-liners or something, but otherwise, I’m watching this to be scared. Not to laugh.
And this goes into my next one—when it’s not actually scary when it’s supposed to be. It’s hard to scare me these days. A few jump scenes doesn’t constitute it as “scary” for me, and many movies only do this. Like, you can pass the spoopy vibe, but when the movie is supposed to be its scariest and is only funny, then it’s not good enough. And that’s what happens with a lot of movies these days like, I couldn’t take the Nun seriously, Conjuring, Insidious… because their monsters aren’t actually scary, or the way they make it look isn’t actually scary.
Where it’s filmed like a documentary. Unless it’s an ACTUAL documentary, I absolutely loathe this style of filmmaking. Seems really lazy to me. I’d be perfectly fine if you had scenes here and there where the character was holding the camera and shooting it like an actual documentary thing, but then you need to put the focus on them as real cinemaphotography, as if it was a normal movie.
And one of my final thoughts would be stupid characters or characters making stupid decisions. You’re telling me that hiding under the bed or in the closet is going to help you? If a murderer breaks in, you’re going to… run upstairs? WHY? When you run upstairs or in the basement, you’re limiting yourself. As Ryan Higa once said, GTFO! Get the FRICK out of there! Run outside, down the street. Because seriously, the murderer isn’t going to walk upstairs and turn around, being like, “Oh well, guess she’s not here. I’ll go make a sandwich.” He’s gonna check every nook and cranny for your ass! 
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I remember that ending for The Mist. That was a huge slap to my face. The ending is a prime example of just how real reality truly is.
That scares me that when you are left with options when you’re staring your imminent demise in the face, that the only option is to die, is so beyond real and terrifying to me.
That man and his son along with the others could have been saved or something.
Like in The Ritual, my dude came with people and something in a foreign country, then at the end he is forced to leave with no one and the clothes on his back and mental scars.
You can’t tell me that man ain’t stable even if he battle his inner demons and a supernatural forest deity AND lost his closest friends.
People who say that he’ll bounce back are fucking liars. How do you bounce back from shit like that? Seriously, how?
Try telling a person who fought in a war to “bounce back” and I guarantee you will get a hateful stare or slap to the face.
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