How does this sound for my ONC story description?
Auburn, a journalist hates horses.
Leo, a cowboy loves them.
One day, when Penelope, the owner of the local newspaper sends her to cover the 23rd Local Ranchero event, she bumps into Leo, and chaos ensues.
Guided by his trusty horse, Misty, sparks fly, and hearts are broken in the aftermath.
I think the last sentence needs to be reworked as it answers the question before we even get to ask it. So ask yourself, what question do you want the readers to have after reading this blurb?
I would imagine that the question would be how they can overcome their differences to achieve the common goal. Which is what?
And you can cut Penelopeâs name. Just say that Auburn is sent on assignment.
Auburn, a journalist hates horses.
Leo, a heartbroken cowboy loves them.
One day, when the owner of the local newspaper sends her to cover the 23rd Local Ranchero event as an assignment, she bumps into Leo, and chaos ensues.
Will Auburn overcome her fear of horses, and Leo overcome his broken heart, or will life get in between them both?
âIf itâs how things work, why are you keeping me alive?â
âYou exist as an immortal because you refused to allow âhow things workâ to keep you in the grave. Your whole existence is a lie against your philosophy.â
I must say, Iâm not a fan of questions in blurbs. I think itâs more effective if you plant enough information that the reader will ask the question, but lots of people do it so donât mind me. 
I think weâre still missing a hook here. What do you mean by chaos? Donât be vague. Itâs not surprising that there will be cowboys and horses on a ranch, so what happens?
Does she fall for Leo? Is he trying to get her off the property? Is she pretending to like horses for his sake? Why? Does she steal a horse? Are they invaded by aliens and she has to run away on a horse? What is this story about besides horses?
Also, Iâm pretty sure that youâd have to format it as
Auburn, a journalist, hates horses.
But thatâs kinda stiff. So knowing nothing about your story, hereâs something made up.
Auburn, a journalist who hates horses, is sent on an assignment to write an article about the local ranchero event. Leo, a heartbroken cowboy, has sworn off all women. He refuses to fall in love again.
When theyâre accidentally locked overnight in the stables, Auburn and Leo might have no choice but to confront each otherâs fears. A night of horsing around might be just what they both need.
lol
Okay, so what Iâm trying to get at is that we need to see what type of a conflict this story has. Stir our imagination a bit so we can start asking the questions and form our theories.
I like your attempt. 
I think Iâm going to need another chapter. Theyâre at an impasse and need a moment apart to come to the conclusion that they donât want to be apart. They both need an epiphany, and I also need a grand gesture.
Itâs not the end yet. Sigh.
I finally sat down to analyze this story, and omg, itâs so much more complex than what I was giving it credit for. I think underneath it all, itâs a love story. When I go back to edit it, I have to crank up the romance because itâs been very mild so far. Iâve just been having so much fun writing the bloody vampire stuff, I didnât pay attention to the budding romance, but in the end, thatâs the global story.
Edit.
OMG, I actually made it onto the vampire AND paranormal ranking? Cool.
I wish I could post the next chapter to not lose the ranking but I want to hold it back for a moment until I figure out the ending, just in case if I want to change something again.
It was a dart tossed out there.
Yeah, I use them to keep people asking questions/open up questions, but it doesnât always need it. I think they can be a crutch at times too, if I am really stuck.
The chaos could be the introduction of another possible âlove interestâ that Leo would have to fight off? (I explain it more in depth below). And also, her learning to like horses as she gets closer to Leo, as a part of their bonding when she chooses him properly?
Fair enough about the stiffness. I havenât really written a romance blurb before. Yours flows much better.
I wrote some more later tonight, and I introduced a new character. Gino, Leoâs cousin. I was thinking of introducing him as an obstacle, to make things interesting. Since, we know itâs gonna be a romance and there is going to be a happy ending with Auburn and Leo, it needs some drama, I think.
She is going to ultimately fall for Leo, and in love with him in the end. What do you think, or is it overkill? It could tie in with the title as well as Leo being a cowboy?
If youâre not sure yet where the story will go, I think itâs best to keep the blurb simple.
Just needs a bit of a catchy feel to it.
Blurbs are hard but the good thing is that a romance blurb has a pretty simple formula. Introduce the two characters. Show the contrast and conflict between them. Hint at them crossing paths and how. The readers will take it from there.
You have most of the pieces already. You just need a final piece of the puzzle.
What about the prompts? Can you use one of them at the end of the blurb to give us more hints of the story?
Thank you.
Yes, okay. Introducing the two characters, and their conflict + how they cross paths:
Auburn, a horse-hating journalist whoâs never been in love before meets Leo, a heartbroken cowboy, whoâs sworn off all women when sheâs sent to cover a local ranchero event for the local newspaper.
Hm, lemme think 
Based on Prompt 44: âYouâre like snow. Beautiful but cold.â
Realizing that they have more in common than they first thought, they become closer. The more she tries to break through his icy exterior, the harder he falls for her, and the more problems this brings.
A little bit of horsing around might solve things, thoughâŚ
Howâs that if you put it all together?
Auburn, a horse-hating journalist whoâs never been in love before meets Leo, a heartbroken cowboy, whoâs sworn off all women when sheâs sent to cover a local ranchero event for the local newspaper.
Realizing that they have more in common than they first thought, they become closer. The more she tries to break through his icy exterior, the harder he falls for her, and the more problems this brings.
A little bit of horsing around might solve things, thoughâŚ
Thanks once again for all your help btw.
So, Until This World Ends is up, 1 chapter posted. itâs 47, 52, 80 together.
@J.L.O I wanna scream.
Yeah, I think youâre getting there. Over time you can continue working on this blurb but for now itâs good.
Thanks, I will 
Over what?
How do I write 48k in one month? 
Daily Goal: 1.6K.
But if youâre doing it another way, you can play differently. What I did this go-round was did 3-arc stories, and made sure I got to roughly 7K THIS month on all 4. When I turn in the 8K mark, Iâm going to write the next 7K arc. So, if I stick to 4, and it looks like I will since Iâm not writing but editing right this minute, then this means a load of 28K minimum each stage, not 48K. This is why I switched to not doing 2K, minimum, for most.
Yeah, that makes sense. I did more than 2k for my stories, but not quite 8k, if that makes sense. I should write more. 1.6k a day is a lot, though. I wanna get them to 20k each soon.
I canât believe that I actually made this story, and
this cover and weâre going there. It looks so
weird and random doesnât it? Like some other
wordly stuff.
I finally updated the next two chapters of my ONC. I donât know how this story is going but Iâm gonna continue writing it
