One line snippet. Share one line from your story that gives off the vibes.

A line from Goddess v2.0

She is your job with us, and our gift to you ~ Dr Lander.

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Thankie. That’s basically the humour of the whole series :joy:

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Yeah, that can be hard. But I’m sure you’ll be on a roll again :blush: I’ve found that sometimes it helps to read the book from the beginning. I read a chapter or two and then I remember what I was feeling or thinking at the time of writing it. Gets me back into it.


@AMMeyers Ooooh, interesting. Why did you choose that quote to represent your book? Um, I know you’re not looking for critique but uhm…the “black” mentioned twice is sticking out to me :lurkingwisp:


That sounds so sad! And heart-wrenching :weary: I like it :wink:


:pleading_face: so touching. And I always read epilogues. It’s the prologues I usually want to skip. Great quotes to show your book!


@MatthewJH Hmm, interesting snippet. Why did you choose that line to represent your story?


And that’s the kind of thing that I’d be interested in :wink:

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Surprised that they haven’t spoken much with @Xman3148

The guy is one of those types that feels deeply, but while he’ll talk about the surface emotions, those really deep things are a bit like pulling teeth. So really, the biggest payoffs are when he lays himself bare. Honestly, it’s the dynamics of most the men in my life. Father, middle brother, father-in-law, husband…actually hubby is much better at it, it’s just he takes months to find the words that label the feeling, so it’s a wait to get it out of him for other reasons than fear of expressing himself. Same outcome, really.

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Got one for the sequel:

How fitting that my very last thought should be: this is really going to f-cking suck.

And that’s pretty much Webb’s story in a nutshell. ᕕ( ᐕ )ᕗ

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It certainly helps. I reread the whole book in August, and I reread a few chapters trying to find a line for this topic :joy: the reread definitely inspired me to work on this book again, but it’s also kind of overwhelming me because there’s so many open strings that I need to remember to tie together xD

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Anyway, The Fairways Empire…

Harvold grinned, suddenly interested in the conversation, “What’s wrong with wanting a bear for a pet?”

The female in this particular story is trying to catch him answering questions without hearing her, and tries asking him if their future children could have a bear for a pet–something irrational, except he’s a mage and bound to have worse than a bear for a pet.

She’s one of a long list of female temptations for his travel, and a very terrifying entity.

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I don’t have any good ones but these are some really great lines, ya’ll! They tell stories in very few words and they grip the reader

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This line is from a scene where the three main characters (Krista, Dov, Freyja*) first meet. Dov (a former Australian Commando) had been invited back to Israel by Dr Lander for a special job, one that could resolve his issues and traumas. Dov and Krista (an abrasive Israeli teenager) meet Dr Lander in a hospital surgery where he is standing beside an unconscious young girl on a steel bed.

Lander reveals his patient is the hybrid clone of a kibbutz girl, Aviva, who died protecting Dov a few years ago. Lander’s ‘special job’ for Dov is to teach the clone how to live and act as a ‘normal’ teenager (with Krista’s help), and how to fight as an Australian Commando (for self-defence). After that, Dov’s main task is to explore the world with the clone; to fill her life with knowledge and experiences that Aviva could not dream of. In short, Lander’s solution to the problems of Dov’s old life is to plunge him into a new life with Freyja, and a whole set of new problems. Freyja is, for Dov, both a job and a gift.**

*

Dov gave the clone the name Freyja Mendel as a reference to her mythical eyes (emerald with neon green streaks), to honour Aviva, and as a reference the time of their first meeting; Friday evening. Friday is Norse for Freyja’s Day and the Jewish Shabbat begins each Friday evening…The Trio’s first Shabbat together is in Tel Aviv…

**

I once crafted a experimental chapter where Freyja is told by Lander that she is a clone. This greatly distresses her. Dov calms Freyja by stating the title ‘clone’ is an offence (he never calls Freyja that). Dov then tells her when they first met, Lander referred to Freyja as a gift and every day since Freyja proved Lander correct. Dov always thought of Freyja as a unique gift…and in later works Freyja refers to Dov as her gift as well…

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Give me a few months to edit and figure out money stuff, then you can buy it :joy:

(this is not an advertisement. this is what I have VERY SPECIFICALLY been told to say when someone shows interest by my parents)

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Three suspects. One high profile murder. Your typical ‘Whodunnit?’ A gut feeling tells me there’s so much more to it and no, it isn’t just the cocaine talking.

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Here’s a snippet line from one of my short stories: Lambs to Lions.

Of all our emotions, love is often the strongest ~ Karen.

This is from a conversation between Karen and two sisters (twins). The sisters had escaped from a kidnapper / smuggler, and were rescued by Karen’s mercenaries from a re-capture attempt.Well, Irena (the older sister) thinks Karen’s mercenaries saved them. Karen suggests the sisters’ love for each other is only the reason they survived.

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I chose it because it represents some of the magic which lets you know it’s a fantasy, but also has darker themes which gives off the mood of the book. Dark, mysterious, evil vs. good.

AH! Thank you! Always looking for critiques. :wink:

How does this sound, by the way? “A dark aura rose from her fingertips, smoke encircled her hands, and her eyes blackened.”

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@xtayaxx Ooooh, interesting! Sounds like this could even be part of the blurb. Why’d you choose it?


It’s beautiful :relaxed:


Ahhhh! :heart_eyes: That’s so much better. I love it.

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And again:
Alive At Crepusculum

Richard enjoyed getting rid of people, but he had some kind of heart not to do it to the poor ones.

I chose this quote because it shows the darkness of this story and the slight hint of humor with the use of italics. “getting rid of people” implies it will happen a lot in the story and it does. This is a villain-centered story with many unapologetic villains.

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i’ll post a silly one for Gallows Humour now but i’ll come back and do more serious ones for GH and Magpie Black later, when i’m not about to go to bed.

context: in a post-apocalyptic landscape with no healthcare, mc woke up from a minor coma and pulled what they thought was a hair out of their newly empty socket. mc was a little grumpy about it.

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Oh my gosh, noooo :scream:

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London was burning again that day, and the heat that clung to Amir’s eek like hellfire bred lust and contempt as he lit a vogue and made his way to the bona bar.

I’ve been experimenting with language. A lonely gay man speaking Polari in a burning London is definitely the vibes.

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