Hellu, beautiful people. My name’s Motte and I’m your resident “should’ve realized she wasn’t straight waaaay sooner yet somehow didn’t” queer. I don’t think I saw a thread like this here so I decided to make my own
please feel super free to add your own experiences, opinions, questions etc… this is an incomplete guide after all lol (but obviously play nice) THANK YOU
Disclaimer: I am by no means an expert, as I’ve only come out myself recently (thank you for that gift quarantine, better than the depression) but I’d like to give a small overview of things to avoid or in the very least handle with care. RESEARCH IS KEY!!!
These first two can especially be seen in tv/film but can apply to books as well
Queercoding → charcters coded as queer → showing attributes (stereo)typically associated with queer people but are not explicetly queer in canon → often villains and/or outsieder
Queerbaiting → as the name says “baiting queers” as in queer audience, while not alienating “conservative” audience. Refers to subtext that implies a character is queer but there is no follow through in the canon. Most popular examples would be JohnLock (BBC Sherlock) or Destiel (Supernatural). It can go as far as actors pushing the ships agenda or even creators mocking the audience for it
→ Rowan Ellis also talked about queer catching which is the opposite of queer baiting; claiming characters are queer in external media but not showing it in the actual movie/show etc.
Bury your gays → if you have queer characters they’re killed off rather quickly and not even necessarily to push the plot forward. Again, see Destiel. (Disclaimer: only watched until the first half of season 8 so…)
Fetishization → an article I found defines it as “the act of making someone an object of sexual desire based on some aspect of their identity” (this was about race but I think can be applied here as well)
Other Stereotypes/labels you might want to avoid:
- the gay best friend (which ties into the hyper feminin gay)
- the butch/predetory lesbian
- the closeted jock who bullies the out gay (bonus: they end up in a relationship)
- The cheater bi /confused/can’t decide bi
- People on the ace spektrum are ace because of sexual trauma
- Everyone needs a label/they are not changeable → a lot of people chose not to use labels at all/are questioning, sexuality/gender identity can be fluid (Felix ever after)
- NOT EVERY QUEER CHARCTER NEEDS A TRAGIC PAST → they are not defined by their trauma
- (More my personal pet peeve: Giant age-difference → daddy/mommy issues, teacher/student relationships etc.)
I recommend consuming own voice media, as every experience is unique. Again Research Is Key, there are tons of resources out there, video essays, podcasts, instagram etc. (I really loved the video series by Rowan Ellis on Youtube, especially Liberation vs Assimilation in queer Cinema.)
And then of course this forum and thread.
Feel free to add anything