Uh…I shouldn’t say anything because you don’t want to hear an online stranger slam your parents, but I think your problems started with your parents’ lack of family planning.
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I mean, I’m sure they’re lovely people and all, but there’s a certain way to start a family. You marry, you both get jobs, save up money, buy a house, build a nest egg, set aside some money for college trust funds for your future children, and THEN you think about having your first baby. I also believe in sustainability, so no couple should have more than a couple of kids, but that’s another issue. Why did your parents have so many when they obviously couldn’t afford it? No, you don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business. But that in my opinion is where your life went off the rails. They set you up for a life of poverty with their actions.
Just want to say that everything you’ve done to get on your feet, getting that job at the library and everything was just amazing, and you should be proud of yourself! A successful life takes time, though, and the next step is to get a place of your own so you only have to work for yourself and not for your sisters. That may take awhile, though, so don’t feel like a failure in the meantime. You’re actually doing a great job of getting yourself together, or so it looks from here. I don’t know how to reverse your burnout, but maybe the others have suggestions for that. Have you watched any of Kate Emmons’ videos about minimizing your life, doing yoga to center yourself and all that stuff? That kind of thing might help. Maybe make a list of things to get organized and set up different days for getting certain things done so you’re not overwhelmed doing it all at once. I dunno, but man, I wish you a ton of luck!
My parents had always struggled and never got any support from their parents. My dad left his home at like 17 because he kept fighting with his dad, and went to join the army. He did get married and had a son while still in the army later in life, but things went south and they got divorced and she took custody of their child, and wanted nothing to do with him.
Then there’s my mom who left home around 19, right after high school and went to go find herself and what she wanted to do. Moved up to Yosemite, and that’s actually where she met my dad (who was 24, fresh out of the army, at the time). It was the 80s. Different times then. But my mom’s mom hated my dad (they’re both stubborn and hot headed, so my grandma always saw herself in my dad and loathed it, according to my mom) and never helped them with anything. Literally threw them out a few times and they had to sleep outside.
But they got pregnant within a year of their relationship with my oldest brother (who is dead; got hit by a drunk driver at the age of six) and got married shortly after they found out. And even after finding out about their child, my grandparents still wanted nothing to do with them. So they were on their own.
And they continued to keep us because the foster care system is a joke, and they had no one else to rely on but themselves. How they kept by, I have no idea. But they did whatever they could to survive. And as time went on, my mom looked into higher paying jobs when she became the main source of income (as my dad got older, his health worsened to a point where he could barely breathe, walk, or do much of anything). There were plenty of times when finances were tight and they fought about that because it was always “how can we keep this family alive.” Though, their fights lingered into other topics I won’t get into. And trust me, we all wondered why they decided to have more of us when they couldn’t and why they didn’t just get divorced. But from what my mom told me, they stayed together for us and did whatever they could for us kids.
There used to actually just be four of us kids (me and my three older siblings) and my mom was supposed to get her tubes tied after me, but the doctor never did it and poof… my little sister came nearly ten years later. Lol
But honestly, as much as I agree that you should start a family after having your life together, things happen and it doesn’t go as planned. I’m sure my parents didn’t think they’d end up where they’re at if they could go back in time.
And it wasn’t like my whole life was a mess. Sure, I grew up in poverty. But it was a sliver of my life when they were laid off or other. I’ve lived in hotels, ate at fancy buffets, gone to Disneyland a few times, seen the US from Virginia to California and from Ohio to Louisiana. I’ve experienced some great things, and while growing up poor freaking sucks, it at least makes me aware of those experiences and that I hope to never go through them again. It also let me grow up more than most at young ages because you see how horrible the world is, and that not everything is sunshine and roses. And it made me more compassionate toward those who don’t have much.
I wonder this every day. What would’ve happened if I was born to a wealthy family? Or a well-off or comfortable family? Parents who didn’t have to struggle? Where I didn’t have to struggle?
In modern day America, the sound of this is luxurious because most people do struggle, and most people are born into poverty. Perhaps different levels of it, but poverty nonetheless. And it is a reason why I stand by the right to abortion because if you really are too poor to keep yourself up float, you shouldn’t bringing in an extra mouth to feed. But America is so backwards. “Don’t have a child if you can’t afford it,” they say. “And don’t have an abortion,” they also say. Like, seriously?
Bruh, I wish. In this economy, it would never happen. We’re planning on moving to Ohio where we can be closer to my other sister sometime in the next year or so, and where she lives, average rent is like 1,200. We pay 800 for a 2-bedroom 1 bathroom house and just the two of us making a combined 53,000 a year is a struggle. We do have terrible spending habits, but it’s also the cost of living, too unfortunately. Our utilities are high—we average 200-300 just for electricity and heat, and it’s worse during the summer months because then it goes up even more for using the AC.
I’d love to be on my own, but at this point, I don’t think I can… not unless I have roommates. And I’d rather have people I know be my roommates than random strangers marketing on the internet. I really do no trust that.
Thank you.
And no, I’ll look her up. I actually do need to get back into yoga…
I actually feel a bit sorry for Zarius (a male character from Red Reign).
Imagine working the same job for eight long years, hoping and praying that you would move to a higher position that will never come unless you are lucky.
Even though the job pays pretty well, the point is that you have to play bodyguard to the most asinine rich people in the world who are allowed to treat you like garbage because they are paying you personally to guard and protect them.
Then there is severe elitism within the job where high ranked or even lower ranked everyone sees you as a glorified bodyguard who will get lucky once in a lifetime just to go to a better paying position.
Zarius wanted to get into a better position because his reason for joining the Knighthood Federation was to make very good money in the mid or high tier ranks, but sadly got stuck in the low tier for eight long painful years.
Zarius is taking things seriously yet questions the same for Jorildyn (my MC) who already comes from a ridiculously rich family and is just looking for a way out.
Zarius never came from a rich family, but he did come from a family that is doing pretty well.
God, I need a serious break from this website, yet my distraction and will to screw around when I should be writing won’t let me.
Also, I just want take break since I have moments when I get stressed due to my mental health.
It is great to socialize, but I waste SO MUCH TIME HERE and half the time nobody is that active and I am just rambling on about stupid nonsense in my opinion.
So, yeah, I need a fairly decent break from this site in order to focus.
That is impossible for me at this moment.
Ugh! Much Frustration!
First, talking feels worse because you’re unpacking 2-3 episodes in years of bottling. That always gets more painful you ain’t re-dug the well yet.
Second. I’m pretty petty when I need to be, but I’m not going to be the first one to touch the dishes, and when I do it all for, oh, a month, those NOT doing it will still be bitching like they did it today, while my hands are covered in suds. So, I’m nowhere near in the same dynamics as you.
But it’s the same argument I had with my spouse just this week: understand, this is not talking to someone who has clinical depression, but to someone who is having an environmental slump that stems way more from his job than home life. So this isn’t to berate you:
Basically what I told him just yesterday:
I’m not saying “don’t do the dishes”, but when you put those damn dishes in front of your mental health but get mad at everyone else you’re giving them something they really won’t be able to handle. Yes, they’ll do the dishes, but there will be more dishes tomorrow, and if the dishes are done, there a house repair, grass to cut, chores for your parents–there’s always some other “have to” that will kill your joy. You have to meet your needs that no one else can do for you, before you allow the dishes to sink you, so you have more support to give other. You’re giving everyone the short end of yourself because you won’t do things you want at the cost of a neverending supply of bull crap.
Yeah, I’ve been occasionally getting on him about this attitude issue for quite some time if I’m getting this blunt.
But there’s no water to pull from a dry, packed-in well.
So, if you NEED the time, but can’t stand the dishes being left out, the petty suggestion I have is taking all the “I don’t have time” dishes that won’t ruin and putting them in a tote with a lid, and let them set an extra day while you take “me time”. They can be a little more nasty and still be done later. Yes, it’s gross, but that’s what rubber gloves and Vic’s vapo-rub is for.
There is a huge difference between having a life, needing down time, and just deliberately waiting until the drowning person doesn’t take care of herself to do dishes so everyone else can have “me time”.
It doesn’t fix the underlying conditions, I know that. But it can be fun to listen to a little bit of petty when things are going wrong.
Watched a clip of Shark Tank for the first time and realized that it might be the exact same set as MasterChef…then realized both are by Sony so, I guess that explains it?
I generously miss when I would write stories about royalty/nobility (mostly royals) doing non-royal things in a sense while still holding onto their royal status.
I am going to go back to that because I seriously miss doing that.
Yeah, people can write about the non-rich people because it’s easier and they are far more relatable than wealthy person, but rich people or rather rich characters can be interesting and relatable in VARIOUS ways.
Why are rich/royal characters are somewhat cliche in goals and motivation is beyond me?
We pay 800 for a 2-bedroom 1 bathroom house and just the two of us making a combined 53,000 a year is a struggle. We do have terrible spending habits, but it’s also the cost of living, too unfortunately. Our utilities are high—we average 200-300 just for electricity and heat, and it’s worse during the summer months because then it goes up even more for using the AC.
