It’s no secret that I’m an overly analytical person. I can’t help it, it just happens.
And so this time I happened to analyze something I wrote in response to someone, and I noticed that I accidentally wrote a response full of encouragement - to myself.
It wasn’t my intention to give myself a pep talk, I was simply talking about the challenges of my project.
Then I realized that I do this all the time.
So why? Does my subconsciousness crave encouragement so badly, it randomly inserts it in everything I say?
Or does it know that I’m susceptible to imposter’s syndrome so it adds a little something wherever it’s possible to keep the stupid syndrome quiet?
And maybe it’s a good thing?
Writing journey is a rollercoaster of ups and downs. As much as I appreciate the writing community, writing is a lonely endeavor. A of a random internet stranger isn’t enough when everything is crumbling down around you. In the end, we have to be able to lift ourselves out. No one else can do it for us.
Self-encouragement is invaluable. We need to surround ourselves with it whenever we have a chance so later we can absorb that positivity when we’re in need.
And so I encourage you to use this thread to toot your own horn, revel in your accomplishments, give yourself a pep talk, tell yourself how awesome you are.
When we spend so much time on writing (yes, I treat it as a hobby, so this isn’t me), we need to know that we haven’t wasted our lives. Sometimes it’s dire, and we get sentenced to death: that’s John the Baptist’s reaction to Christ.b
I don’t care if anyone believes in it or not, but story-wise it’s extremely human. He spent all his time as a prophet touting his younger cousin as Israel’s redemption, and needed to know that it wasn’t a wasted life.
Christ’s response was that the lame could walk and the blind could see. Basically: you have the evidence of the worth for your life.
I kind of feel arrogant doing this
But I kind of need to write it down somewhere so I can see it and remember it.
I’m sick of holding how “well” I do on Wattpad (or not!) affecting my mood and giving me imposter syndrome.
Like, with the creator programme, I reach the threshold to be a part of it with 2 stories, but I still haven’t been invited. I see people who (honestly this is harsh but whatever) don’t write as well as I can get millions because they write what’s trendy, and it really puts me down. I let stupid things like that affect my moods and being prone to deep depressions, it does dip me down there.
I need to stop. I have a degree in writing, I am getting my book trad. published. I’ve fulfilled my dream (or will when it comes out but you know!).
Wattpad “success” doesn’t mean anything to me, because I’ve done the dream. Yes, it helps me edit and get a name for myself. Yes I love getting readers, and I appreciate every single one. But I’m going to sound arrogant, I’m better than Wattpad.
Yet, still it hurts me when I log in and see people announce they’re going paid and I’m not even on Wattpad’s radar. It hurts that people flip vote me and not even care for my plots. It hurts when I apply time and time again for editor’s picks and wattys and don’t get even shortlisted. I put work in and get nothing back.
But it doesn’t, and shouldn’t matter.
I’ve done it. I will do it. I’ve even put out feelers for another one of my stories this week with publishers (I’m allowed to under my contract).
Note to self: Alex, read this, you’re doing it. Stop letting Wattpad be it. It’s not. You’re a good writer, stop making places like Wattpad feel like you aren’t. You wouldn’t have a contract if you weren’t.
sorry, I really needed that. Thank you for having the space now to continue writing XD
It’s not arrogant to think you’re better than the constraints of “one publishing company” that treats writing like a puppy mill, especially when you’re “making it” elsewhere. It’s still early, but that’s evidence that you can’t cater to what’s going on there.
I definitely have come to this realisation lately that I’m not “wattpad” and for a while it genuinely depressed me, like sent me into a downer. But then I realised that it’s okay.
I mainly use it now to get first drafts out, join bookclubs and get comments/suggestions for editing and since I’ve kind of accepted that, I’ve been so much happier.
Hearing some of the stories about being paid and a creator recently has also put me in doubt whether I would even want to do that with Wattpad.
Eh, it’s been a big epiphany.
I’m there with you.
I’ve accepted long time ago that I won’t hit the viral jackpot because I’m not writing the viral stuff. And even though I’ve accepted it, it doesn’t prevent the sting when my fears are actualized. Doubt can so easily deep in.
But it’s important to remember that our successes aren’t dictated by Wattpad. That’s just a single platform.
You’ve got this! I’m really happy to hear when fellow writes get published. Feel proud. That’s an awesome achievement and it outshines a million read on WP every way you look at it.
That’s it, like I see the announcements and it just stings like UGH. I’ve finally realised I need to step away when that happens and my life has been genuinely better for it.
Aw thank you so much! It still doesnt feel real yet, and I think it’ll be more of a shock when I get the book in my hands XD I’ve been surprisingly calm, and I think when it hits I’ll be more in euphoria about it lmao
thats definitely one of the best things, like I’ve met a lot of good writers and decent people. I’ve found the Dreamland discord which is just amazing. I don’t think I’ll ever leave wattpad, unless they close it XD it’s a decent platform I think when you find your groove and little circles.
My thing isn’t impostor syndrome per SE, unless you like really stretch that analogy to the whole of my existence. I hate feeling intrusive. The life of an ADHD person is naturally obtrusive. Its that “I have to do WHAT to get read?!”
We are so hard on ourselves all the time. Great thread.
I realized today, you know what? I can come up with some pretty interesting ideas for characters. I thought I’d run out of them, but nope. My new character’s mom is part of a special organization that MC thinks is the FBI, but it’s not going to be and she is going to find out. I figured out how to reintroduce my supernatural organization that I gave up on creating in a different story I never finished.
Yayyyy. I thought I would have to give it up because it was turning too sciencey and science fiction isn’t my thing.
Anyway, another thing, this same MC uses method acting to pretend to be someone else to remain anonymous but also able to experience a “normal” life.
Method acting. I just heard it in passing somewhere and I was able to bring it into a story, learn how people do it, and create a character that does it not for money, but acting to keep herself safe.
That is such an interesting character. Because when do you turn off method acting if you do it for your life? You must really lose yourself. Some kind of identity crisis maybe.
Wtf!! That sucks D:
I thought you were at least featured in Editor’s Picks.
I’m so sorry, Mini. You might not remember me, but I was voting and commenting on your stories like crazy because I really loved your plots & writing style. You have a beautiful way of telling the story. I liked that prisoner story, it had me on the edge of my seat, full of suspense.
That’s why I made this Wattpad account; to try writing the “viral stuff.”
On AO3, I wasn’t writing romances or smut, but here, I thought I should try it to see if it’s true; that Wattpad favors weird-ass kinky romances.
Let’s see what will happen in this weird-ass experiment of mine
To be honest, I don’t care about winning on Wattpad much anymore. If I get the editor’s pick, I get it. If not, I don’t care. I will say one thing though: Wattpad is instilling a sense of discipline in me with the contests; also for deadlines and synopses. And a BIT of exposure